On One Foot: Joshua Hammerman's Blog

Author of "Embracing Auschwitz" and "Mensch•Marks: Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi - Wisdom for Untethered Times." Winner of the Rockower Award, the highest honor in Jewish journalism and 2019 Religion News Association Award for Excellence in Commentary. Musings of a rabbi, journalist, father, husband, poodle-owner, Red Sox fan and self-proclaimed mensch, taken from essays, columns, sermons and thin air. Writes regularly in the New York Jewish Week and Times of Israel.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"Facebook Haggadah" has an ethical backstory

Jeffrey Weiss/Reporter - The Dallas Morning News blog

A very funny parody that pokes fun both of the frankly confusing traditional Passover Hagaddah and of Facebook is getting plenty of linkage. Cathy Grossman on USAToday and Steve Waldman on Beliefnet, for example. Some of the jokes will only make sense to someone familiar with a Passover Seder. But some of it works for anybody. Here's a nugget:

25 things you didn't know about me by God
1. Guilty pleasure: Smiting people.
2. I had another universe once, it was so much better than this one. But I got really wasted one night and lost it in a game of craps. :( I'm never doing that again.)

And the link.

But there's an interesting backstory you won't find there (or on the other linkages to the Hagaddah).Ii e-mailed the creator, Carl Elkin, and asked him for some background. I'll post his reply at the jump (Hint: He's trying for more than just funny.)

I sent him a simple request for background: "So, um, who *are* you?" Here was his reply: more

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Julie Arditti on Vayikra

My portion begins the book of Leviticus, which some people call the most boring book of the Torah. True, it is a lot less exciting than Genesis and Exodus, which we’ve just completed. The crossing of the Red Sea and the giving of the Ten Commandments are a hard act to follow, and it is difficult to find much that is interesting about sacrifices, which is the subject of my portion, Vayikra. But it is that simplicity that also makes it so interesting and powerful.

The first word of my portion is Vayikra, meaning God called. The ancient rabbis and commentators wondered why God called to Moses and didn’t just speak to him. Why did God need to get Moses attention in this way? Their answer is that when God called, Moses thought all the hard work was already done. The people had left Egypt, received the Torah, and built a sanctuary, so what more was left to do? By calling to Moses, God is telling him that the most important work is yet to come - the sacrifices of daily worship. The message here is that the things that matter most are the simple things.

For me, the simple things I appreciate in life are sometimes more important than the big things. Such as, waking up and having a roof over my head, being able to have breakfast, petting my dogs, having clothes to wear and a family that loves me.

Every morning when I get onto my bus I say good morning to the bus driver. And when I get off I say thank you. In the course of my life these bus rides are just bus rides. By thanking him, I am showing my appreciation for the little things.

At Camp Kenwood when there are thunderstorms, I get frightened. Last year there was a huge thunderstorm and we all had to wait in the gymnastics building for hours. I now appreciate that building and how it kept us from getting wet or even hurt.

For my mitzvah project, I made and sold breast cancer ribbon pins and will donate all the proceeds to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. By the way, if you still want to purchase a pin, please contact me. I have decorated the pins with simple objects that remind us that even the simplest things can be meaningful.

My Torah portion has not only taught me the importance of appreciating things, but also to be humble.

As I said before God called to Moses using the word Vayikra. There is a story that Moses was so humble that he didn’t want people to think that God talked just to him. So Moses changed the word to Vayikar, which means that God just happened upon Moses. When God insisted that the word be Vayikra, showing that God had a special relationship with Moses, Moses compromised to keep the word Vayikra, but he made the alef small.

In fifth grade when I was elected president of student council, although I was excited and wanted to scream, I went straight to the runner-up and told her how great she did and that she ran a great race.

So, from my Torah portion I’ve learned to be gracious, humble and appreciative. I guess Vayikra isn’t so boring after all.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Bread of Affliction

Gabriel Mann's powerful Passover video to end hunger. Directed by Stuart K Robinson for "Let my People Sing". Produced by Craig Taubman, benefitting JFSLA.

(Madoff) You Give Jews a Bad Name

Based on the parody song from the radio show "Two Jacks in the Hole" - (www.huffandstapes.com)

Bernard Madoff gives Jews a bad name. This makes Bon Jew-vi mad. And when Bon Jew-vi get mad, rhey sing about what makes them mad. With their Jewish frontman (now you can't be offended), Bon Jew-vi performs their classic song, "(Madoff) You Give Jews a Bad Name"

Friday, March 27, 2009

The God Questions: A Child's View

Little Rachael Paley, a preschooler, recently had a conversation, with her mother Donna Foster-Paley, about God. Her responses help us to understand how sacred are the insights of a child, for they can go places we adults have long ceased to go. Maybe at your Seders it would be a good idea to go around and ask these questions When the youngest child asks the Big Four, we can add a few more to the mix.

Donna: How do you know there is a God?
Rachael: We have to think in our heads that there is One.

Donna: Can God talk to us?
Rachael: Yes, He calls us on his Cloud Phone.

Donna: What does God do?
Rachael: God grows the trees for us. He makes the colors of this world.

Donna: What does God look like?
Rachael: God can look like any way you think He looks like. i think he looks like a baby (kissing 9 month old brother David). God looks like a creature, like a lion, and He eats up David's toes.

Donna: Does God watch out for us?
Rachael: Yes, that's the boring part.
Donna: What's the exciting part?
Rachael: Chocolate kisses! God makes candy!

Priceless!

Kosher Sex series continues for Young Professionals

Join us for the second session in the Kosher Sex series, “Dealing with Relationships When We’re All So Stressed Out.” This sesion will take place next Thursday, April 2nd, 7:30-9:00 PM at Temple Beth El, 350 Roxbury Road in Stamford. The session will be co-lead by Dr. Mara Hammerman, PsyD and Rabbi Joshua Hammerman. They will discuss how your relationship can be an oasis of tranquility in a crazy world, dealing with parents, jobs and other distractions, basic communication skills, conflict, resolution, developing a comfort level and the Jewish focus on the power of words. Rabbi Hammerman will also talk about sexuality from a Jewish perspective. There is no charge for this program, but space is limited. Please RSVP on the facebook page, "Young Jewish Preofessionals of Fairfield County."

See the flyer for the entire series by clicking here.

This program is made possible through a grant from United Jewish Federation of Greater Stamford, New Canaan and Darien.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Five Different Versions of Had Gadya

Here are five different versions of Had Gadya!

Text
Ashkenaz - Switzerland tradition, Yitzhak and Mordechai Brom performance
Ashkenaz – Berlin tradition, Oskar Goldberg performance
France tradition, Adolf Attia performance
Italy tradition, Alessandro Sagerra performance
Tunisia tradition, Michael Sitbon performance

Tech-un Olam

Check this Facebook discussion thread that we started in my Kulanu teen class last night, on cyber-ethics. The group is based on Joseph Telushkin's new book, the second volume of his Jewish Ethics series. The Facebook group is called The Jewish Ethics Project.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

G-dcast for Parashat Vayikra

Parshat Vayikra from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

Sixty things I love about Israel

Excerpted from "Sixty things I love about Israel," by Benji Lovitt, found on 60 Bloggers (and if you like these, why not join us this December on our TBE Israel Adventure?)

1. I love that the women are not only hotter than Mitzpe Ramon in July but that they also have a Passover Seder. (Much like the fourth dimension, my human brain is incapable of processing this.)

2. I love the outdoor cafes/kiosks on Rothschild and that Israelis universally agree that Starbucks (the altar to which American consumers bow their heads and pray) stinks.

3. I love that I don’t look at the people I meet as French, Russians, or Australians, but rather as Israelis who are trying to make it here just like I am.

4. I love my Ulpan teacher from Kitah Bet, Dafna, who spoke to us like we were four so we’d understand her.

5. I love that falafel is a healthy snack (OK, maybe I just love choosing to believe the American myth while I scarf it down forty-seven times a week.)

6. I love that people I know from all over the place are always visiting this place, the center of the Jewish world.

7. I love that I can tell a joke about Rosh Hashana at a comedy club here and know that it will be understood by everyone in the audience.

8. I love wearing jeans to virtually any social event.

9. I love the kumkum and the utter shock on every Israeli’s face when they ask “but how do you make coffee in America???” in the same manner that teenagers ask how we survived before cell phones. (Since it takes an hour for my dud shemesh (water heater) to heat up during the winter, next December I plan to shower in the kumkum for the next 3 months.)

10. I love that it’s 12:48 AM, tomorrow is a work day, and Cafe Aroma is still hopping. HOW DO THESE ISRAELI PEOPLE DO IT???

11. I love expanding my already unrivaled vocabulary of ridiculous Hebrew and Arabic slang and that Israelis think I’m fluent because I can say I have to go the bathroom 47 different ways.

13. I love Friday in Tel Aviv.

14. I love English words which are directly absorbed into the Hebrew language. “Slicha, yesh li peepee!”

15. I love how warm and proud of each new immigrant the former olim are and how so many treated me to an “aliyah beer” or dinner when I arrived.

16. I love how cheesy American and international pop music is welcomed with open arms here. For this reason, someone hypothetically can sit in the barber’s chair, get a proverbial spring in his step when “Backstreet’s Back” comes on, look around, and realize that nobody finds it the least bit weird that said song is being played. This is all hypothetical of course. It never happened.

17. I love that I went to World AIDS Day and had my AIDS awareness raised by two macho sperm kicking a soccer ball.

18. I love that people are so unbelievably hospitable to the degree that my American brain cannot understand. Like when 45,000 people invited me to their Passover Seder, including a co-worker who I had only known for a few weeks.

19. I love Adloyada in Holon, the biggest Purim parade in the country which feels like the Macy’s Day Parade on Thanksgiving.

20. I love the feeling of unity and Jewish peoplehood on Yom Hazikaron when people stop whatever they’re doing to commemorate fallen soldiers during t’kasim (ceremonies) and during the siren. Even though it looks like aliens have invaded earth and frozen the human race.

21. I love the ridiculous English t-shirts that people wear in this country, usually with no inkling of what they even say or mean.

22. I love that Hebrew is both an ancient and brand new language with words whose roots can be traced as far as the Torah (b’reishit, whose shoresh is “rosh” or “head”/”beginning) and as recently as NOW (“l’sames”, “to send an SMS”).

23. I love the food here and how people eat such a healthy diet, such as my co-worker who ate a whole pepper in her hand as if it were an apple.24. I love the almost meaningless phrase of “yiyeh b’seder” which I continuously mock for its universalness even as I say it myself to make myself feel better.

47. I love how when you walk into an Israeli’s home, approximately 1.34 seconds elapse before they offer you a hot drink. You could enter their apartment with a clown suit and a machete, the first thing they’d say? “Some-theeng to dreenk?”

48. I love seeing my Israeli friends in the days after Shabbat because they feed me. Not just with anything but with the 468 Tupperwares of delicious food that their mothers have sent them home with after the weekend. Where do these mothers find the time??? You leave them alone for 5 minutes on a Friday, when you come back, they’ve whipped up a 7 course meal for the Western Galilee.

49. I love that I saw “Borat” in Israel where everyone was dying laughing from all the hilarious Hebrew. You think that happened in the Cherry Hill, New Jersey multiplex? (Does Cherry Hill have a multiplex?)

50. I love learning some random phrase in Ulpan or in the shetach (”the field”) and then picking it up in conversation days later to my complete delight. This leads to awkward exchanges where I interrupt two people by suddenly screaming “COMMON DENOMINATOR! COMMON DENOMINATOR!”

51. I love how the sample credit card in advertisements doesn’t have a name like John Doe or Shmuel Ben-Tov but instead “Israel Israeli.”

52. I love how the band at the first soccer game I attended played not “We Will Rock You”, but “Heveinu Shalom Aleichem.” What is this, Rivka’s Bas-Misvah?

53. I love how my former roommate tried to teach me how to clean by taking the toilet brush, cleaning the toilet, and then using the same toilet brush to CLEAN THE SINK. And she thought I was the idiot. (Ok, just kidding. I didn’t really love that.)

54. I love when an Asian person stops me to ask where the #5 picks up and we converse in Hebrew.

55. I love how someone stood up and blew the shofar on an El Al flight last September. If that happened on an American airline, this would lead to confused passengers tackling him and the ADL issuing a press release.

56. I love that McDonalds is kosher for Passover.

57. I love that on Israeli Survivor, the contestants are often far less cutthroat than their American counterparts, schmoozing and laughing like….well, Israelis.

58. I love how on Yom Kippur, there are almost zero cars on the road.

59. I love that living here makes me feel like I am contributing to the building of a country.

60. I love that I’ve had this once-in-a-lifetime experience and that it’s not over yet.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Here Comes the (Blessing of the) Sun

The Blessing of the Sun, Burkat Hachama is fast approaching - that once in 28 year opportunity to acknowledge the power and importance of the "Greater Light." Weather permitting, I'll be leading a special service - brief but powerful, on Wednesday, April 8, at the (NOTE TIME CHANGE) bright and early but not godforsaken hour of 7:00 AM, down at beautiful Cove Island Park. We'll meet at the totem pole. Just walk straight in, bearing left slightly, and head straight to the back.

This Shabbat morning, I'll be discussing some fascinating source material put together by the Conservative movement, as we prepare for the big event. You can also read this week's coverage in the Jewish Week: For Liberal Jews, Sunup On A Rare Ritual

David Solomon, a world-renowned teacher and Biblical scholar, explains the importance of Birkat Hachama (from a traditional / mystical perspective) in this video. For more information, and the rest of this series, visit Jinsider.net and http://www.inonehour.net/

Life Flow and the Mikva: A Spiritual Web Journey

This week I will have the pleasure of bringing a Jew by choice to our local mikva, where he immersed as the climactic moment of his conversion. Preparing for this event reminded me of the growing significance of this ancient symbol of purification and transition. Whether it is used for conversion, for the purposes of family purity, or to mark a major life transition, such the onset of Shabbat or a holiday, for some, or a recovery from a major illness for others, these natural waters are the perfect metaphor for the ebb and flow of life.

I recently taught a session of the Melton adult education series on this topic, and next week will also touch upon it in the next session of our acclaimed “Kosher Sex” series for young professionals. In preparation for those two classes, I came across some excellent materials and websites that I share with you here.

Take a look at them all, including the Conservative Movement’s Law Committee’s recent rulings on the matter.

While the laws of family purity still appear sexist and repressive (and obsessive) to many, the mikva’s significance goes far beyond those laws. For some women, a monthly immersion keeps them to be spiritually attuned to the rhythms of their bodies and of nature. For women and for men, immersion in life-giving waters is a way of defeating death – for when we lie in water we are suspended for a moment, naked, defenseless, un-breathing, as if dead; and then we re-emerge as if “born again.” The waters also soften us as they transform us, affirming our vulnerability and fragility, as well as our connectedness to nature.

Water is a symbol of life, and blood symbolizes death (though it contains the power of life)... shades of the first plague!

It’s time to take another look at the power of water.

This is the site of the new, pluralistic mikva in Boston, created by Anita Diamant, author of “The Red Tent.” It's called Mayyim Hayyim (Living Waters). See here creative, spiritual ceremonies of immersion:

For a woman following menstruation
For a bride
For a groom
For Passover

Also see http://www.mikvahproject.com/

And see from Ritualwell, The Use of the Mikva in Healing from Incest and click here to see various healing ceremonies involving immersion, including incidents of rape and abuse.

Also see (from Ritualwell):

Kavanah for Mikveh Prayer By Carol Rose
A meditation for the mikveh invoking God's healing presence

Prelude to Mikveh Poem By Cynthia Wallace
A kavanah for ritual immersion that focuses on the experience of mikveh as an experience of the Divine

Healing Well Prayer By Ariel Lee
A healing prayer to be said when immersing in the mikveh

Communal Misheberach for Healing Prayer By James I. Greene
An original prayer in both feminine and masculine forms

Waters of Healing Meditation – Kos Refuah/Cup of Healing Ritual Component
By Ariel Lee A meditation based on Miriam's Well

You can find an Orthodox explanation of the Purity Laws (Niddah): from the OU and from The Jewish Womens' Health Network

And the Conservative approach, which combines traditional observance with a more contemporary, feminist view: http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/teshuvot/docs/20052010/grossman_niddah.pdf

Here read some of the questions posed by observant women about the commandment to refrain from contact with their husbands during their time of “uncleanness.” It can get pretty complicated! http://www.yoatzot.org/article.php?id=115, http://www.yoatzot.org/question.php?id=2153, (Is it OK to be sitting on a couch with your husband?)
http://www.yoatzot.org/question.php?id=2841 (Can you hand a baby to your husband?)
http://www.yoatzot.org/question.php?id=7401, http://www.yoatzot.org/question.php?id=5106 (Can you touch your husband’s chair?)
http://www.yoatzot.org/article.php?id=85, http://www.yoatzot.org/question.php?id=2727

Read this from “The Golden Bough” http://www.bartleby.com/196/47.html on blood taboos in ancient societies.

A fascinating report on mikva from PBS: Religion and Ethics News Weekly - also see this feature, "Memoirs of a Mikva lady"

Finally, read the Jewish Enclyclopedia’s classic studies on the subject, at http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=222&letter=B&search=baptism and http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=338&letter=A

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Sam Baden on Shabbat ha-Hodesh

Happy New Year everyone!

In case you were wondering, the biblical new year is Nisan, which begins this week. Today, not only is it my Bar Mitzvah, but it is the first day of spring and shabot hachodesh, the special shabbot announcing this new month. For those of you who don’t know this I was born on the 1st day of Passover, known as chag haaviv, the holiday of spring, and Nissan is known in the torah as chodesh haaviv, the month of spring. So everything, as you can see, really ties together.

At this time of year so much comes alive. From deer frolicking in the fields, and all the snow birds coming back from Florida, and all the flowers growing in your yard, the Yankees getting ready for opening day, except A-roid I mean rod, and of course those annoying bird waking you up at 5am. And this year another cycle of nature is renewed. The day before Passover, we are going to say a special blessing of the sun, which marks the return of the sun to the exact place where it was at the moment of creation, according to Jewish tradition. We only say the blessing once every 28 years, so it kind of a big deal.

As this new cycle begins, it makes me wonder what the world will be like in another 28 years. When I imagine the future I think of flying cars, a giant whole in the ozone layer and maybe by then the economy will be turned around, maybe. And I’ll be 41, wow that’s old.

However, some things will stay the same. For instance, Judaism. It has been going on for 3000 plus years, and it’s still going strong. And I think my mom is old (hold for applause). But seriously, my family also has deep roots, they’ve been right here in Stamford for a very long time. I am the first of the 5th generation to be in Stamford.

I am so lucky to have so much family. Today there are 4 generations in this very room. I’m very privileged to have 5 living great grandparents, 5 grandparents, 12 cousins, and 8 aunts and uncles. I’m the first of 8 on one side, and the second of 10 on the other. I want to give special mention to my 2 talises. One is all the way from Israel, and is from Grandpa Manny, and this talis will be passed all the way through the Leferman side and eventually it will come back to me. My 2nd talis is from Mema, it is very special to me because it’s mine to keep forever.

So once again, happy new year, and I hope you paid attention because I am not repeating this speech for another 28 years

Sunday, March 22, 2009

TBE on Shalom TV

Several major events taking place here at Temple Beth El have been covered by the national Jewish programming network, Shalom TV. You can see excerpts of those presentations at the Shalom TV website:

Heads of Three Rabbinical Schools
In a rare group appearance, Richard Joel (Yeshiva U), Dr. Arnold Eisen (JTS), and Rabbi David Ellenson (HUC-JIR) sit together in Temple Beth El (Stamford, CT) to discuss the future of Jewish life in America and the strengths of their respective movements.
See excerpts here.

Jewish America: Michael Oren
Explaining why a commitment to Israel has been part of the American fabric since the days of the Pilgrims, Michael Oren, Middle East expert and senior fellow at the Shalem Center, delivers the Harold Hoffman Memorial Lecture at Temple Beth El in Stamford, CT. See excerpts here

Avraham Infeld on Jewish Identity
Jewish identity, for American and Israeli Jews, is the subject of a lecture by gifted educator Avraham Infeld, one of the minds behind Birthright Israel, former president of Hillel and Israel Forum, and chair of The Israel Experience. Shalom TV exclusive coverage. See Excerpts here