Showing posts with label synagogue membership. Show all posts
Showing posts with label synagogue membership. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

From the Rabbi's Bunker: May 5: We're all in the Same Boat; The Virtual Shul: Pros and Cons; Suddenly, We're all Observing the Omer - By a Hair; Mariachi Jewish Music

From the Rabbi's Bunker

 
    Kabbalat Shabbat last week featured our youngest students, who led parts of the service with their families. They did a great job!  Click here to watch a video of the entire service and here for more photos from our winter - spring photo album (scroll down)


Healing Prayers





Mazal tov to Beth Styles on her fantastic new interpretation of Adon Olam!

And for Cinco de Mayo....
Jewish Mariachi Music: Halelu, by Moshe Mendelson
Some Jewish Mariachi: Halelu, Moshe Mendelson


We're all in the Same Boat

Shalom from the Bunker - or more accurately, the Boat.

We are reaching the point of what people are calling "Quarantine Fatigue," which is leading many of us to let down our guard.  

You see it happening in stores, parks and elsewhere, although most people are still following the guidelines, and a poll in today's Washington Post Americans widely oppose reopening most businesses, despite easing of restrictions in some states

But people are getting restless, often arguing that distancing rules are infringing on their freedom.  On the front page of today's Boston Globe we see that expressed in a protester's sign:


The claim is correct, to a degree.  Our lives are our own.  We value free choice just as we cherish free speech, but with each right we also accept limitations and the responsibility not to be reckless. If this man were to have his way, the state motto of New Hampshire would need to be changed to "Live Free AND Die."

We read in Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 4:6 (you can read the passage in full here):


"A man in a boat began to bore a hole under his seat. His fellow passengers protested. 'What concern is it of yours?' he responded, 'I am making a hole under my seat, not yours.' They replied, 'That is so, but when the water enters and the boat sinks, we too will drown.'"       -Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai
The disease is hard to see, so we might be lulled into a false sense of security.  (Incidentally, please understand that whenever someone calls it "The Invisible Enemy" they are using a common anti-Semitic trope, rhetoric often used in medieval blood libels against the Jews and in the infamous "Protocols of the Elders of Zion.") But the person who refuses to wear a mask or who insists on flaunting his resistance to distancing practices is boring a hole under his seat and sinking our boat.

Which isn't to say that there aren't very hard questions to address about when it will be appropriate to open up parts of the economy and how mindful government should be to minimize the losses of workers and save small businesses from going under.

This is one of the greatest challenges our country has ever faced and we are facing it along with most of the rest of the world. Hence the need to join forces in seeking a vaccine and treatments.

Each step of the way we need to recall that we're all in the same boat.


The Virtual Shul: Pros and Cons

Aside from the horrific toll of Covid-19 in mortality and the economy, there's been much collateral damage to cherished institutions within the Jewish community.  Some are going to survive, others may not.  Summer camps are now cancelling, which is a huge loss for those who run them (as well as emotionally, for the campers and their parents).  Some organizations are dealing with enormous fundraising shortfalls.  I'm especially concerned about Jewish journalism.  The New York Jewish Week and other longstanding newspapers are having to furlough staff and remaining employees are who dealing with Depression-era budget cuts.  The London Jewish Chronicle has been around since 1841 - until last month. The largest Jewish periodical in Canada, the Canadian Jewish News, has also disappeared.

Synagogues face a great deal of uncertainty too, especially as we look ahead to the upcoming High Holidays.  The Rabbinical Assembly is joining with other arms of the Conservative Movement in a task force to begin exploring options - and we will be doing that too.  But the synagogue has also reasserted its centrality during this time.  We've seen it in an upsurge of attendance at services and - sadly - in the increasing need for solace and comfort in the face of such staggering losses.  I've seen it in your responses to these dispatches and in the many emails and calls I've fielded - and I beg your forgiveness for not always responding as promptly as I would want.

But as we now head into our third month of virtuality, we can begin to speculate on whether what we are experiencing online is truly satisfying our crying need for community and connection.

Rabbi Eric Yoffie wrote an eye-opening column in yesterday's Ha'aretz: Will the Coronavirus Lockdown Fatally Weaken American Jewish Life? 

Here's some of what he had to say:

I miss my synagogue. I miss the rabbis and cantors. I miss the people who come to daven. I miss the schmoozing before and after Shabbat services, and the punch and cookies that we devour when the service is over. I miss the synagogue building where I have been worshipping for 37 years, and the safe and comfortable feeling that it gives me....And this too: I am growing tired of all the well-meaning people who keep trying to tell me how wonderful technology is; and how meaningful virtual Judaism is; and how beautiful lifecycle events can be on a computer screen; and how we are all going to emerge from this crisis better off, with new Jewish paradigms and a reordering of our Jewish reality.

We need to see virtual Judaism for what it is: A temporary expedient that helps us to feel less alone. It is surely better than nothing, and for most of us, considerably better than what we expected it to be. Indeed, the comment that I heard most frequently from Jews who had just experienced their first virtual Passover seder was "that was a lot better than I imagined it would be." 

But virtual Judaism is also flawed, limited, and deeply unnatural.  We are social beings, hungry for human contact. As the saying goes, we need both the face and the Facebook. And this means that as Jews we want communities that are grounded, concrete, and tactile. In our synagogues, we give expression to this desire in a variety of ways--with physical gestures and the locking of eyes, or with hugs and back pats.   

He goes on to say that the synagogue has thrived during this crisis in one notable way:

If our synagogues have been strengthened by this pandemic, it is not because of the technology they have provided or the on-line services they have developed. The synagogue, it seems to me, is the ultimate hesed community, and the COVID-19 pandemic has pushed the synagogue to do what it has always done but do it more effectively and emphatically.  

And its greatest accomplishment is not online worship services but connecting Jews to each other, reaching out to the lonely and isolated, supporting the poor and shopping for the elderly, and teaching Torah to those who crave meaning.

But in the days ahead, all of this will not be enough. 

As our country faces continued economic peril and psychological torment, and the synagogue itself is severely challenged by issues of finances and membership, the solution will be much more than virtual Judaism.

Synagogues will need instead to hone their hesed instincts, which have already been activated but not enough. They will need to address the practical, political, and spiritual problems of the Jewish community and America at large. They will need to reach out to the most vulnerable populations - older adults and people with disabilities - in their own congregations and in the broader community. They will need to join the efforts to extend healthcare to all Americans.  

And they will need to offer Jews a sense of connection and belonging, while making the case to America that all Americans still need one another, and not just virtually.

Can the American synagogue do this, to save itself and to help America in its time of need? Yes, by understanding that we must resist the flight into solitude that the pandemic has imposed on us. By recognizing that technology is a helpful but limited and sometimes dangerous tool in combatting the isolation that we dread. And by remembering that hesed and the moral ideals of Torah are key, for they call on us neither to forsake nor accept the world, but to change it for good.   

This topic is worth pursuing in discussions over the coming weeks.  Has the experience of "going virtual" enhanced your spiritual life, or has it been frustratingly lacking?

Given the historical nature of these times, I recommend that we all compose our own dispatches from the bunker.  I'd be especially interested in reading about your experiences of our services and events (like classes or the Zoom seder).  Are there moments that were particularly meaningful for you?  

Screen grabs from last Friday's service


Suddenly, We're all Observing the Omer - By a Hair
The Omer, that period of counting between Passover and Shavuot, has much in common with our current predicament.  It is seen as a time of uncertainly, marked by certain customs of semi-mourning, like refraining from weddings and not cutting one's hair.  One of the reasons cited for this anxiety and sadness involves a plague during Roman times, which mysteriously lifted on Lag B'Omer, the 33rd day of the counting, which falls next week.

Lag B'Omer is a time when these mourning practices are cast aside, and lots of Jews get haircuts.  Well, this year, some businesses will be opening in Connecticut on May 20 (we can debate the wisdom of that elsewhere), which will become sort of a secular Lag B'Omer for many.

But the problem for some Jews observing this custom (and it is a custom, not a law) is that May 20 is after Lag B'Omer but before Shavuot, so haircutting restrictions would still be in place.  So is it permissible, this year, for those Jews to "break" the Omer custom and get a haircut on May 20?

The Rabbinical Assembly is on it!   Below is their reply:

Aren't you glad you asked?  :)





By Alicia Jo Rabins
Kids play with toys scattered all over and tired exhausted parent
I am sorry
you cannot play
with your friends
can't touch the
swings the monkey
bars the slide
can't have a
birthday party when
you turn eight
next week can't
go to school
can't visit your
grandparents
your little cousins
in the fourth
week of this
new regime, I
hear myself say
no no no and
realize that in
normal times to
withhold these simple
joys from you
would be cruel -
but these are
not normal times
here is my
wish as your
mother: that one
day when you
are grown you
will understand these
days are filled
with the "no"
of love which
opens the door
to a million
days of yes
-----

Enjoy this fine spring day!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Shabbat O Gram Aug 28


Shabbat Shalom

As you meander on the back porch or beach during this final week of the summer , you are invited to check out our photo album from our recent barbecue along with the recent family picnic. Also see some photos of my trip to Peru.  

Before we being our regularly scheduled programming, some important announcement:
-          UNDER STAMFORD HOSPITAL’S NEW, MORE STRINGENT PROTOCOL, IMPLEMENTED THIS WEEK,  CLERGY WILL LIKELY NOT BE ABLE TO VISIT A PATIENT UNLESS WE ARE INFORMED DIRECTLY BY FRIENDS OR FAMILY.  PLEASE HELP US HELP OTHERS BY LETTING US KNOW!
-          Get in the spirit of this season of Teshuvah by downloading last week’s parsha packet on “Self Scrutiny,” or review last year’s list of “Judaism’s Top 40” values and concepts. Read Maimonides “Laws of Teshuvah” translated here.Read more about teshuvah here. Also, cultivate your “soul traits” (Middot) at Rabbi Ira Stone’s Mussar Pathways. Check out the Middot table and work on a different character trait each day: PatienceHumilityCalmness ,Generosity and Trust.  Study Maimonides' "Laws of Personality and Character Development." Find the texts here. Read about  Teshuvah in an article from theclassic Jewish Encylcopedia. See this kabbalistic approach.
-          Join us for our “Shabbat Under the Stars” on Friday at 6:30. Come early with a dairly picnic if you wish.  We’ll be situated just across from the cantor’s house, and the service will just about at sunset.  But as it gets darker and darker, signaling the approaching end of summer, we’ll paraphrase the classic Dylan Thomas poem as we (p)ra(y)ge against the dying of the light - inasmuch as prayer here is a passionate - if not exactly raging - affirmation of life. And save the date for next week’s Selichot service in Westport.  This year, the Conservative congregations of Westport, Norwalk, Stamford and Greenwich will be joining together for the first time.
-          This year we are once again including blurbs about loved ones in our “Book of Remembrance.” Send brief tributes to Mindy at office@tbe.org
OK, Time for the Hard Sell...

The meme above gives us lots of reasons (read: excuses) why people avoid joining congregations.  But there are many, many more reasons why people’s lives could be enhanced immeasurably by affiliating.  Send me yours, along with reasons why you come come to services on the High Holidays.  I'd love to share some.
Next week, I am going to be hosting some new TBE members and others who are synagogue “shopping.”  If you know of anyone who might be interested in learning more about TBE, please let me or Steve Lander know.  We would love to share with them what’s special about our congregation. An interesting phenomenon we’ve noticed is the return of former members - several just in the past few weeks.  We’re seeing adults who grew up here returning with their young families, as well as empty nesters coming home to roost.
We find that our own congregants (e.g. you) are our best salespeople.  The more members we attract, the better it is for all of us.
So please help us over the next several days.  Circulate the good news on your social media and in conversation with friends.  Encourage people to try us out this Friday night (or next).  Ask them to contact us or give us their contact info.
We have a world renowned cantor, whose music lifts us to the point that our services, in particular our High Holiday services, are beyond comparison.  For those who need further proof, please direct them to the following YouTube clips:  Cantor Magda Fishman sings “Anytime,” at TBE, Yom Kippur 5775 or to  Cantor Magda Fishman sings Avinu Malkenu

By all means, circulate them.  Share them on your Facebook page (with an enticing into like “Hear the song that brought an entire congregation to tears” - which it did). Let the world know how incredible the experience of a service at TBE can be. 
And for those not yet ready to join, let them know that Yizkor on Yom Kippur and the Second Day of Rosh Hashanah are free and open to the general public for those who wish to try us out - as long as they make arrangements ahead of time by contactingexecdir@tbe.org . 
If they want to know more about me, send them to my blog, which includes just about every article and High Holiday sermon I’ve given.  Send them to our website or to the TBE photo archive, with nearly 90 albums.  Of course, I’d be happy to speak to anyone directly - or to invite a prospective member to the upcoming meet and greet.
Below you will find something that I dug out of my files.  Feel free to read and pass around.  Your decision to belong to a synagogue - THIS synagogue - is one that can make all the difference, for you, for your community, for the Jewish people and for the world.  We should all consider that... Membership IS a privilege.
------
WHY BELONG? AN OPEN LETTER TO AN UNAFFILIATED JEW
By Rabbi Rafael Goldstein
Dear Friend:
I am sorry that I have to write this open letter to you, but I don't know any other way of reaching you. I have been told that you used to belong to a synagogue but you dropped out when your children were through with the school. You are not alone; three quarters of the Jews in our community do as you did. Three quarters of the Jews in our community do not belong to a synagogue. That is a mind-boggling statistic.
Maybe you think that it is too expensive to join a congregation. There is no use denying it. Like the cost of everything else in this world, the cost of maintaining synagogues has sky-rocketed. Synagogues do have reduced rates for those that need them, and we give them without causing embarrassment, but still, I do not deny that it is expensive to belong.

But if you have a limited amount of money and an unlimited number of things that you can spend it on, you have to make choices on the basis of priorities. If you cannot afford both a new car and a trip overseas, then you have to decide which means more to you. If you cannot afford the synagogue and something else, what you are really saying when you choose the other is that the synagogue is not a priority, that the other thing, whatever it is, is more important to you. Everyone has the right to set his own priorities, but know that this is what you are doing.
Maybe you think that you do not need the synagogue anymore because your children have all graduated. Is the synagogue a gas station? When you need it, you use it and when you don't, you drive past it and you feel no deeper relationship, no greater responsibility for it than that? That is not what the synagogue is supposed to be. Being part of the synagogue you are a part of the Jewish people. No other institution unites the Jews as well across the centuries and across the borders.

----------------
This is the only institution we have that Jews from Cairo or Casablanca, from this century or the third century can walk into and feel at home. When you are a part of a synagogue, you are part of a fellowship with all those who have been a part of Judaism before you, with all those who built and maintained it before you, and with all those who have been a part, through the centuries.
You open a prayer book and the generations that went before you come alive within you. You open a prayer book and say the same words that they said, and you know that you belong to the ages, and that the ages belong to you; that you are not here today and gone tomorrow; but that you are a part of your people's history, and that history is a part of you.
There is another reason. The synagogue is not only a bond to the past. It is also a bond to the Jewish people of the present. When we meet together in this place, we meet as partners. We stand here with a sense of being connected to each other, and of being responsible for one another. That experience, the sense of being connected in this time is a healing thing. It helps you to recover from the hurt of a loss, to be part of a community that cares.
If that sense of community was always needed, it is needed even more in our time. We live in such a mobile place, in such a transient society. We pay an enormous psychic price for all this mobility. We pay, in that we have so little sense of roots, so little sense of family. Who lives in the same state, or in the same state of mind, as parents or children anymore? In this kind of world on wheels, something has to stay the same. In some place, they have to know me and care about me, not just as a customer or as a client or as a competitor, but as a person and as a Jew.
Sure, you can get a rabbi or cantor and rent a hall for all of the rites of passage - from baby-naming to burial - without having to belong. You can always find some rabbi who will do all of these things for you, out of kindness, even if you don't belong. It is bad enough if you are a number at work, or if you are a stranger to your neighbors, but if you are a number to the one who marries you, or to the one who buries you - if s/he does not know your pain, and if s/he does not even know your name, isn't that a loss? That is what happens if you don't belong to a synagogue.
There is one more loss if you do not belong. Your child, if you have one, may have finished his Jewish education by the time s/he is 13, but have you? You are more experienced in the affairs of this world than your child, and so you should know, better than s/he does, how much you don't know, how lost we all are, how bewildered we all are in this confusing, fast-changing world, how much wisdom and guidance we need if we are ever going to make it in this world. The synagogue does not have all the answers, but at least it deals with the right questions, with the ultimate questions. And it deals with them from the perspective of the centuries, and not just from the point or view of the latest fad or cult. If you come to the synagogue, you will hear some of the central spiritual questions of our time explored questions such as: what meaning does my life have now AFTER I have made it financially? Or, why do my children not understand me? And why is my life so frail, and why is my death so certain, and what should I do with my days before they disappear?
The fourth reason to belong to a synagogue is: we need you. The Jewish people need you, God needs you. For the number of Jews who are left in this world that still care are so few, and the needs of the Jewish people are so great, we need every single Jew we can find. So we say to you, join us, help us, work with us, for we need you.
These are the four reasons for which I would have you join us - or rejoin us - if you have drifted away; because it will connect you to roots from which you come, because it will connect you to a community that cares, because it will connect you to a heritage that contains some wise insights into how to lead a human life, and above all, because we need you, and to be needed is such an important part of every person's life.
I know that you will tell me that the real synagogue is not like the ideal one that I have painted. I know that, at least as well as you do. But that is all the more reason to become part of it; to help correct it, and to make it what it was meant to be. If what I have said here makes any sense to you, I hope you will respond. If you disagree, or if you want to let me have the benefit of your perspective, let me hear from you.

Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Joshua Hammerman