Showing posts with label Yizkor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yizkor. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

In This Moment: Yom Kippur Plus 50 Years, Yizkor Names

In This Moment

Thank you to Rep. Jim Himes for delivering some of his home-hive grown honey last week, in honor of Rosh Hashanah.

It was bee-licious!

Shabbat Shalom and G'mar Hatima Tova.


As I prepare to deliver the 137th and 138th - and final - High Holiday sermons of my time at TBE, here are a few lines worth repeating from last weeks' sermons.


A program note: During the break on Yom Kippur after Musaf, I'll be hosting a free-flowing discussion. Topic? Whatever you want. Could be related to the sermons, to the liturgy, or any questions you've just been waiting 37 years to ask.


Day 1:


  • My pension director tells me that maybe only a dozen Conservative rabbis in this country have remained with their congregations for this length of time. It’s a tiny pool – too small for any survey to accurately measure – and the pool is shrinking. It just doesn’t happen anymore. Once upon a time, such stability was the norm – the gold standard for a congregation. Now, research has shown that most pastors vacate a pulpit between the years 3 and 5, if they last that long. But somehow, we bucked those odds. It wasn’t easy. But it is easy to take that remarkable accomplishment for granted. I certainly don’t. I am totally aware that this is not just any old goodbye, and for many of you, it’s as hard for you as it is for me – and for some maybe even harder. So, we are a unicorn. I say “we” because this is as much your accomplishment as mine. In this congregation’s 102-year history, there have been essentially just three senior rabbis, with a few short-term flame-outs mixed in.  I understand that for each of you, this transition is something different. I’ve known some of you for thirty years, others for two weeks. But they’ve been two good weeks! And now, each of those clocks is synchronized, as we count down inexorably toward zero.


  • But here’s a paradox. We are so sidetracked by all the multitasking, we’re so busy being busy, that we’ve lost control of time and we neglect to do those things that have to be done. As life whizzes by faster, we increasingly procrastinate, and put off that phone call to a sick relative; the “I love you” to a partner or child; that letter to an elected official; that volunteer project. There is always something else to do. And just as we’re about to do it, a banner pops up on the screen, interrupting our train of thought. I’m a notorious procrastinator. I wrote this sermon yesterday. Well, not really, but where Hillel said, “If not now, when?” my motto is, “If not now, later!” 


  • From a God’s eye view, the Jewish people will be here in thousands of years because we’ve already proven that we can last thousands of years. For a hundred generations our ancestors prayed to return to Jerusalem three times daily. A hundred generations. If just one generation had stopped facing Jerusalem, we wouldn’t be here. Each person mattered. Each prayer recited by each person – it mattered. I wouldn’t bet against the Jewish people, despite the great challenges we face now, here and in Israel. I wouldn’t bet against us, and not because of God (which I can say from this God’s eye view) but because of each of you. Each of you matters. And I know you’ll come through. Why? Because you are here today! Something mysterious has drawn you back here today.


  • Today is Shabbat. The very fact that Shabbat supersedes Rosh Hashanah, and we don’t blow the shofar today, is a key sign that, from the Jewish perspective, the relentless march of time needs to pause and take a back seat to this weekly taste of eternity. It’s a lesson we need to learn, even if it means delaying our shofar gratification for one day. And we need to sit back and cherish our remaining time together. Rosh Hashanah is all about our rush to get things done. Shabbat is about the appreciation of what we’ve done already. Rosh Hashanah is the forced rush of a Tekia Gedola, creating waves of sound. Shabbat is a light breeze that ripples across the surface of the water. Hayom Harat Olam – Today the world is born, but we’ll hold our breath one more day before celebrating that birthday tomorrow, with the shofar’s blast.


  • We are all on different clocks. We walk at different speeds. We learn at different paces. We pray in different rhythms. But in the end, we can’t mark time alone. All our clocks chime differently, but our goal should be to make them chime in harmony. Teach us to count our days – to measure those paces, so that our hearts may be guided by kindness, as we hold out our hand to help our siblings shuffling with a numbing fear through the rain-soaked lot at Panera. And as I held my brother’s hand, drenched in that parking lot, and saw how dependent he was on me and in a strange way vice versa, I realized that however we mark time, our time is meant to be shared.


Day 2:


  • Judaism can help us in a number of ways, to 1) establish ethical guidelines for programming and implementation of A.I., 2) to warn us of the dangers of playing God and playing with fire; and 3) to drill into our minds the distinction between that which is Melachti – artificial – and Amiti – real. The Hebrew word for real is also the word for truth. What a brilliant concept!


  • We need ten for a minyan. But when we count a minyan, we say, traditionally, “Not one, not two, not three.” Because even when we need a specific number of people, we never reduce people into becoming specific numbers – we never assign their personhood a value that is less than infinity.


  • In the Talmud, (Yoma 22b) Rabbi Eleazar says: Whosoever counts Israel, transgresses a [biblical] prohibition, as it is said (Hosea 22:1): ‘Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be as the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured.’” The commentator Rashi explains that “the evil eye has power over numbered things.” So the custom developed to try to avoid spotlighting individuals whenever counting them – even for something as important as a minyan.


  • Counting standardizes human beings. It creates a sameness, sets boundaries that objectify and limit us. Assigning people numbers dulls the spark of divinity within them.


  • Just as everything in the past 80 years was tainted by the lurking potential for nuclear annihilation, so everything now is tainted by the growing shadow of artificiality. The digital age, which held such promise, has turned out to be a Trojan horse. We are in a gargantuan struggle to reestablish the preeminence of the real.  


  • Relationships and professional roles cannot be contrived, fabricated, planned, calculated, or programmed. True relationship cannot be “artificial.” Paradoxically the most difficult of all things to achieve, is to be, simply, oneself. 


  • To have known me here for these past 36 years is to know that I have always looked at religion from the prism of the humanities, not as doctrine but as lived experience, not as something supernatural but something very down to earth, a product of the human condition and a contributor toward human flourishing. Lo Bashamayim hee – it says in Deuteronomy. “It’s not in the heavens.” “This thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart.” Religion is right here – in your heart. That’s what’s real – and our sacred wisdom reminds us of precisely that.

Yom Kippur Plus 50 years...


Click here or below to open special section





My Rosh Hashanah sermons, text and video

are now available online.

Click here for both days.

Recommended Reading

including Yom Kippur Yizkor Materials



Yizkor Books have a special place in Jewish history. The first Yizkor book, or in Yiddish “Memorbuch,” was produced in 1296 in Nuremberg by Isaac ben Samuel of Meiningen, to commemorate the victims of the previous two centuries of persecution since the First Crusade in 1096. The publication of Yizkor books was one of the earliest ways in which the Holocaust was communally commemorated. A memorial book about the Jewish community of Łódź was produced in New York City in 1943. It was the first of more than 900 of this type that were subsequently published. See Wikipedia article, and numerous Yizkor books from the Yiddish Book Center, the Jewish Gen Yizkor Book Center and a list of Yizkor Books at the Library of Congress.



“Everyone has a name”

Poem by Zelda

[translated from Hebrew]

Everyone has a name

given to him by God

and given to him by his parents.

Everyone has a name

given to him by his stature

and the way he smiles.

and given to him by his clothing

Everyone has a name

given to him by the mountains

and given to him by the walls.

Everyone has a name

given to him by the stars

and given to him by his neighbors.

Everyone has a name

given to him by his sins

and given to him by his longing.

Everyone has a name

given to him by his enemies

and given to him by his love.

Everyone has a name

given to him by his holidays

and given to him by his work.

Everyone has a name

given to him by the seasons

and given to him by his blindness.

Everyone has a name

given to him by the sea and

given to him

by his death.



Today's Israeli Front Pages

Ha'aretz (English)

Jerusalem Post




  • Dateline Zion (Jewish Review of Books) - In September 1941, the students of Poland’s Mir yeshiva found themselves in the Japanese city of Kobe, having fled Hitler’s advancing forces via Siberia. As the Jewish new year approached, they found themselves confronted with an urgent dilemma: on what day should they observe Yom Kippur? Nobody had yet clarified where Jewish law places the international dateline—a question first raised in the 12th century—and it was possible that they were to its east.





  • "This Is the Yom Kippur of..." (Mosaic) - In the wake of the Yom Kippur War, the words yom kippur shel, “the Yom Kippur of,” have referred in Israeli speech to any debacle that might have been prevented by better judgment.




But at least he has taste! See below.

Temple Beth El
350 Roxbury Road
Stamford, Connecticut 06902
203-322-6901 | www.tbe.org
  
A Conservative, Inclusive, Spiritual Community

Thursday, October 13, 2022

In This Moment: D.I.Y.izkor; Happy Birthday, Oldest President Ever! And what Ecclesiastes Has to Say About It

In This Moment

Kesher Beth El students decorating our TBE sukkah last week! 


Happy Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simhat Torah - and Shabbat Shalom!

D.I.Y.izkor


The holiday season ends with a bang this weekend, with the Intermediate Shabbat of Sukkot, featuring the reading of Ecclesiastes, then on Monday morning Shemini Atzeret with Yizkor, and Simhat Torah on Monday evening and Tuesday. Throughout this transitional (Covid-wise) year, we've tried to remain steadfast and safe while getting closer to a semblance of normalcy. It's been a daunting task, but I think we've succeeded to a great extent. All services are being streamed or Zoomed, and the goal is for everyone to be engaged and feel embraced, whether in the sanctuary or hundreds of miles away. Yizkor presents a unique challenge. So I want to help those who will be participating online as well as those who may not be available either in person or online on Monday morning but wish to have a memorial service of some form on their own. 


So here is what you need for a D.I.Y Yizkor: First, light a candle. This one on YouTube flickers and burns for ten hours.  That ought to do.  Of course, a real candle at your home would be best of all!


Now, find your prayers. Here is the pdf of that part of the service that includes the Yizkor prayers (beginning on page 330 of the siddur, p.15 of the packet).  Here are some other Yizkor prayers, including remembering Righteous Gentiles and victims of sexual assault.   See also: Yizkor: For a Family Member You Love in an Estranged Family You Love No Longeralso Yizkor Kavannahand Yizkor for Someone I Wish I Knew BetterAlsoA Jewish Sanctification to Honor Trans Peoples’ Lives. Also, A Mussar Practice for Grief and finally, Prayer for Yizkor, from the Tkhine of the Matriarchs by Seril Rappaport (ca. 18th century) Plus, there's always the option of a more personal meditation.


Then click here to download our Book of Remembrance names that we used on Yom Kippur. And click here for the full list of names of those interred at our cemetery. 


Every time I look at that list it awes me.  For one thing, I can't believe I knew (and buried) so many of them.  But more to the point, what wonderful people they were, good souls who loved their families and changed the world for the better. Each of them still has a story to tell, a lesson to teach. I couldn't ask for better neighbors. TBE's greatest asset is its people, both those here in person and those with us in spirit, and to have the cemetery right next door is one of the most gratifying and life-affirming things about our congregation. So whether or not you plan a Do It Yourself Yizkor, take a few moments to think about the folks on both lists - the Book of Remembrance and the TBE Cemetery.


So now you have the tools to do Yizkor your way.  And by all means, make your Yizkor even more memorable by topping it off with us on Monday night, in person or online. as we celebrate the Torah that links us to all the generations.


My warmest wishes to everyone for a safe, healthy and happy remainder of the festival.


Rabbi Joshua Hammerman



Why Etrog Boxes?

Etrogs were imported to far-flung Diaspora communities from the Mediterranean area and due to the limitations of supply and the requirement that it be unblemished, great care was devoted to etrog storage. It was usually kept in an appropriate container that had been adapted from a different use. Hence, etrog boxes have a great variety of shapes and materials and can be difficult to identify without an inscription. Plus, the command for Sukkot is to beautify the mitzvah, leading to a great variety of beautiful Etrog boxes, which were often originally used as containers for sugar or small sweets. Boxes that were originally made for etrog storage are either shaped like the etrog or contain depictions of this fruit in relief or sculpted form; the usual material is silver.

Happy Birthday, Oldest President Ever!

(and what Ecclesiastes has to say about it)


For the first time ever, (God willing), on November 20 the US will have an 80-year-old president. And everyone but President Biden seems to be feeling an almost Y2K-level dread. The question on people's minds: Are we better off with an 80-year-old president or one half that age? Of course, no one should generalize about these matters - every individual ages differently. But the question is one that is very relevant this week of Sukkot, as Jews around the world read the book of Ecclesiastes (Kohelet).


A couple of years ago I read a provocative article on the subject by Arthur Brooks in the Atlantic, entitled, "Your Professional Decline Is Coming (Much) Sooner Than You Think." You can read it here.


Brooks writes that according to research by Dean Keith Simonton, a professor emeritus of psychology at UC Davis, success and productivity increase for the first 20 years after the inception of a career, on average. So if you start a career in earnest at 30, expect to do your best work around 50 and go into decline soon after that.


Decline soon after 50? Oy.


He adds: "Much of literary achievement follows a similar pattern....Poets peak in their early 40s. Novelists generally take a little longer. When Martin Hill Ortiz, a poet and novelist, collected data on New York Times fiction best sellers from 1960 to 2015, he found that authors were likeliest to reach the No. 1 spot in their 40s and 50s. Despite the famous productivity of a few novelists well into old age, Ortiz shows a steep drop-off in the chance of writing a best seller after the age of 70. (Some nonfiction writers-especially historians-peak later.)"


On the other hand, wisdom, according to Brooks, increases even as mental acuity falls. "There are many exceptions," he writes, "but the most profound insights tend to come from those in their 30s and early 40s. The best synthesizers and explainers of complicated ideas-that is, the best teachers-tend to be in their mid-60s or older, some of them well into their 80s." He cites a number of Buddhist and Hindu sources on wisdom to make that point.  


Jewish sources concur with what he shares of Eastern religions - like this passage from the Talmud (Pirkei Avot 5:24), which, at a time when lifespans were compressed, the aged were respected for their life experience.


He [Yehudah ben Tema] used to say: The five-year-old is for [learning] Scripture; the ten-year-old is [of age] for the Mishnah; the thirteen-year-old, for [the obligation of] the mitzvoth; the fifteen-year-old, for [the study of] the Talmud; the eighteen-year-old for the wedding canopy; the man of twenty is to pursue [a livelihood]; that man of thirty [has attained] to full strength; the man of forty to understanding; the man of fifty is to give counsel; the man of sixty [has attained to] old age; the man of seventy to venerable old age; the man of eighty, to [the old age] of strength; the man of ninety [is of the age ] to go bent over; the man of a hundred is as though already dead and gone, removed from this world.


The book of Kohelet is the product of an entire genre of biblical and post biblical material known as "Wisdom Literature." For its author, the specter of death colors all of life. Death for Kohelet is contradictory, to be both welcomed and feared; but as one ages, death's proximity vastly increases wisdom.  Kohelet adopts the perspective that youth is wasted on the young, on those who have not yet learned to appreciate those fleeting moments of peak strength.

Rabbi Zalman Schachter, a founder of neo-hasidism and Jewish renewal, wrote extensively on "Age-ing and "Sage-ing." To hear him speak of spiritual eldering is to hear a modern version of Kohelet. In this excerpt, he speaks of how each human being is put here to share one insight, harvest it, and pass it on. Old age is not a time of diminishing capability, but of cultivating new spiritual and intellectual opportunities.

Join us next Thursday for Two Interfaith Programs!


The Talmud teaches:

Rabbi Eliezer said: "Why are 70 offerings brought on Sukkot? For the (merit of the) 70 nations of the world." (Sukkah 55b)

Rashi comments:

To bring forgiveness for them (the 70 nations which comprise the world), so that rain shall fall all over the earth.

The Sages stress that Sukkot has a universal element which is absent in the other festivals: Passover represents the exodus from Egypt and the emergence of the Israelite nation; Shavuot celebrates the giving of the Torah to the Jews.


Sukkot, on the other hand, focuses on universal themes of wandering, harvest and food insecurity, environmentalism and most of all, the need for rain in due season. Plus, coming on the heels of the High Holidays, the gates of judgment and repentance are still a crack open. So it's become a popular practice for Sukkot to be a time of ecumenical celebration and conversation.


Next Thursday, Oct. 20 at 6 PM we'll be hosting the first of four sessions of interfaith dialogue on subject near and dear to us all: the Bible. We'll participate, along with our friends at St John's Lutheran Church and St Francis Episcopal Church. We'll host the first two sessions, in our sanctuary as well as online and I'll be providing keynote comments for the series and also presenting Jewish perspectives throughout. The book we are using is a fantastic exploration of key biblical passages that have changed history and caused so much tension between Christians and Jews over the centuries.


Click here for flyer with live links to the readings and livestreamIt is truly amazing how the exact same texts can be read so differently - with such profound consequences for the world.


And then, immediately after the bible conversation, we'll pivot to the first of a series of monthly interfaith programs dedicated to exploring religious responses to climate change. We're hosting the first session, and I'll be presenting at a session down the road. Our interfaith council has always treasured shared learning experiences, and this year we are focusing on two key areas of concern: climate change and sharing our stories. Come join us next week!

Reading for Oct. 20 introductory session on Biblical Interpretation

Reading for Oct. 27 session on Virgin Birth

Reading for Nov. 3 session on Sacrifice and Atonement

Reading for Nov. 10 session on Turning the Other Cheek

Order the entire book here....

Recommended Reading


  • The most inclusive siddur ever! The Inclusive Siddur Project is an attempt to imagine what a fully inclusive, de-stigmatized Jewish liturgy might look like. The main release is Siddur Davar Ḥadash, a non-denomenational Ashkenazi siddur. The siddur uses a modified and expanded version of the Nonbinary Hebrew Project's third-gender Hebrew system to refer to G-d as well as to human worshipers across the entire liturgy. In addition, the siddur replaces passages of the standard liturgy that are sexist, ableist, xenophobic, or otherwise stigmatizing, finding alternatives — in Hebrew and in English — that are not demeaning. All Hebrew in the siddur is fully transliterated, and is translated in all-new translations. With the exception of one commissioned poem, the siddur is entirely in the public domain, free to use, distribute, modify, and reproduce however you want, without restriction or cost. The source files are also available to download if you would like to use them as the basis for your own version.








  
LinkedInShare This Email
Temple Beth El
350 Roxbury Road
Stamford, Connecticut 06902
203-322-6901 | www.tbe.org
  
A Conservative, Inclusive, Spiritual Community