TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Emily Sherman on Toldot

My Torah portion describes the birth of twins Esau and Jacob. As they get older, it becomes clear they have opposite talents…Esau is the hunter and the athlete.  Jacob is the student and the scholar.

The Torah portion goes on to highlight each brother’s strengths and weaknesses, how their respective qualities help and hinder each of them in their lives, in their personal relationships, and in their adventures. 

The question that pops out here and the question I’ve discussed with the Rabbi is whether the Torah is favoring the student or the athlete.

At first, it would seem like the Torah favors Jacob the student. Esau, not the brightest, was really hungry one day and sells his “birthright” – that is, his rights as the first born – to Jacob for a bowl of red lentil soup. For those of you who know me well, I get hungry and I’m a beast when I’m famished so I’m sort of a fan of Esau’s….He was really hungry! And besides how important are birthrights anyway…in my house, it’s really just an excuse for Josh to get the first choice of steak, stay up later than me, and sit in the front seat.

But when I think about how my life relates to this Torah portion, I first tried to think about which twin I related to best.  And the answer is easy---it’s both.  I love sports, especially tennis. And I love school, especially math.  But more importantly, what I love most about learning and athletics is the challenge and competition of each, where I really have to push myself, dig deep and sometimes take a loss or frustration and push through it.

When I hear my parents talk about my great grandmothers for whom I am named, I can’t help but think I get my competitive edge—almost a survival skill—from all of my great grandmothers.  Every single one of them. 

You may remember hearing my brother tell the story at his Bar Mitzvah about my great grandma Frieda, whose Hebrew name is Tzipora, which is my middle name.  She escaped from a Nazi concentration camp and lived under a floorboard for an entire year to avoid capture.  

My other namesake, my great grandmother Edith lost her husband when my grandfather Mickey was in 8^th grade and she worked full time, multiple jobs, supporting 3 kids and making sure they got an education.  My other great grandmother Betty “Ma” Baron was also widowed early and glued my family of 6 great aunts and uncles, and my dad’s 13 first cousins together. And my other Great grandmother Lee is here today at 95 years old and is full of life and such an inspiration to me. 

 These are strong, resilient women who never took no for an answer and fought hard on every stage they found themselves on.  That, everyone, is my inspiration in not just sports and school, but in my life.

For my mitzvah project, I wanted to share my love of sports with kids who may not be lucky to have as many opportunities I’ve had to play sports. For years I’ve been involved with Grassroots, a Norwalk charity that brings the sport of tennis to inner city kids who don’t have as much access to tennis, as well as tutoring. I volunteered and raised money this year with their annual doubles tournament, which was a big success.  The goal of this organization is to ensure each of their kids is on a path towards success on the court, in the classroom and in life.  That’s certainly the type of place that both Esau and Jacob would have enjoyed.

So as we reflect on Esau & Jacob in this Torah portion, here are my takeaways:  First, that I can appreciate and learn from them both, be inspired by their best qualities to become a successful student-athlete and second, not to let my brother make any bad deals with me—in fantasy football or in life--like Jacob got one over on Esau — even for a tempting bowl of lentil soup!

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Emily Goodman on Toldot

Shabbat Shalom!

            When I started to learn about my Torah portion of Toldot, I realized that it has a lot of similarities to my favorite all-time Broadway show, “Hamilton.”

            I mean, if I were to tell you that this is a story about two men who are bitter rivals and one becomes insanely jealous of the other and wants to kill him, you can answer either “Toldot” or “Hamilton” and you would be right!

            In Toldot, Jacob fools his father Isaac into giving him the special blessing that was meant for his brother Esau, so that Jacob would become the leader.  When Esau found out that Jacob got the blessing, he became insanely jealous and wanted to kill Jacob.

            In Hamilton, Aaron Burr is hoping to get Alexander Hamilton’s endorsement, his blessing, in the Presidential election of 1800, when he was running against Thomas Jefferson.  When Alexander endorsed Jefferson, Burr also got insanely jealous and challenged him to a duel.  Unlike Esau, Burr succeeded and killed Alexander.

            Another similarity between the two is the idea that you have to let go of your jealousy.  It happened for Esau, although it took many years.  Eventually he came to accept and even love his brother and he gave up his desire to be the leader. 

            In Hamilton, the two competitive siblings are Angelica and Eliza, the Schuyler sisters (and Peggy!).  At a ball, Angelica meets Alexander and really likes him, but she knows that her sister does as well.  So rather than be jealous or compete with her, she gives Alexander up to Eliza.

            In Hamilton, Aaron Burr gives Alexander some advice, over and over again:  Talk less, smile more, don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.”  Burr was very cautious and afraid to take a stand, while Alexander was always impulsive in his action, knowing somehow that he was running out of time and needed to get a lot of things done.

            With Jacob and Esau, it’s a little different.  Neither of them is cautious – both are impulsive at some point in time. Esau is the sibling who let his impulses get the best of him, when he trades his birthright for a bowl of soup and can never the leader after that.  And Alexander makes some bad decisions impulsively that ruin his chances to become President.

            On the other hand, Alexander and Jacob both see the need to make the most out of life and that’s why they deserve the recognition that they received.  When you think about it, the Jewish people are called Israel, which was Jacob’s name.  We’re not called “Esau.”  And the guy whose picture is on the ten-dollar bill is not Aaron Burr.

            There are lots of other similarities that we could explore, like how both Jacob and Alexander were wanderers who never really could settle down.

            In the end, what Alexander and Jacob shared the most was a desire to make the world a better place and because of that, they became the founding fathers of two nations that we all take pride in – the Jewish people and the United States.

            And on this week of Thanksgiving, and since my portion is all about food, for my Mitzvah Project, I am collecting food for families in need on behalf of Neighbor to Neighbor.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Daniel and Elena Salm on Toldot

 E: Good morning and Shabbat Shalom! As you may know, our Torah portion today discusses the worst-ever relationship between a set of twins, the one between Esau and Jacob.

·         D: If Elena and I had been around during the time of Esau and Jacob, then we could have given them some helpful pointers on how to get along better, since we have so much experience living together as twins.

·         E-: We’re pretty much experts on this topic. And, as twins, we have a lot in common with Esau and Jacob, with one major difference.

·         D: …We don’t want to actually kill each other.

·         E: …most of the time. But seriously… we do get along…

·         D: Certainly better than Jacob and Esau. Not to sound competitive, but I, was born first, though some say it’s because my sister kicked me out.

·         E: Well, it was pretty crowded in there! But that’s exactly how it was for Jacob and Esau. The Torah tells us that they wrestled with each other before they were even born, making them rivals even before they were born.

·         D: Just as in other ancient tales about twins, each of them was described as half of a complete personality. Each had qualities that the other lacked, and, together they were viewed as one complete person.

·         E: In our Torah portion, Jacob was the clever; thinking brother and Esau was the athletic, active twin. The problem is that no person, especially a twin, should be seen as half a person. 

·         D: Just like Elena and me -- each of us likes to study and we also like sports.  Well, maybe we like sports more, but each of us is a complete person.

·         E: So here is our Twin Survival Guide for Jacob and Esau.

·         D: Even though we are both complete personalities, it is important to have individual interests and be your own person, so that we don’t always do the same things. Sometimes, those interests can complement each other. For instance, just as Esau was a big outdoorsman, I like to ride my bike and go fishing. 

·         E: …and I like to swim. Fortunately, I never swim where he’s fishing.

·         D: One of my other interests is that I like playing baseball.

·         E: And after going to my brothers’ baseball games for so many years, I know all the rules of baseball inside out, and enjoy watching baseball -- but not as much as I like watching “Project Runway.”

·         D: Speaking of watching, we both love movies, but I prefer comedies like “Happy Gilmore.”

·         E: And I like creepy, horror movies. But we can always find room to compromise by watching t.v. shows like “River Monsters.” 

·         D: Because it’s a TV show that has swimming,

·         E: scary Monsters,

·         D: AND fishing!

·         E: So this is our advice for Jacob and Esau. If you want to get along, stop trying to one up and compete with each other so much. You don’t have to be rivals just because you’re twins. Remember, friendship and brotherhood (or sisterhood) is more important than winning an argument or a competition or favor from a parent.

·         D: In another part of today’s Torah portion, Esau trades his birthright for a bowl of soup. As the first-born twin, I know that even though my favorite soup is Ramen chicken noodle, I wouldn’t trade my birthright for it.

·         E: …and I would never cook up some chicken noodle soup in order to trick you into giving me Dad’s blessing—I’d just trick Dad instead.

·         D: Well, I have some news for you. You’re too late.  Dad’s blessing already went to Nathan.

·         E - But that brings up another important point. Parents should not be seen as favoring one twin over the other.

·         D: Yes, Rebecca and Isaac were way out of line in how they favored one child over another.  That probably didn’t help them get along.

·         E: As twins, the other key to getting along is to be able to share the things that we both enjoy!

·         D: like pizza or our dog Tino.

·         E: No, like family or being there for each other or community or our Mitzvah Project, which was really great. We volunteered at the Ferguson library last summer, where we helped kids participate in the summer reading program.

·         D: Also, we collected the books that our now in our bima baskets and we are going to donate them to the Prison Book Program in Quincy, Mass., the city where our Grandma Dale grew up.  She was a big reader, and I think she would have been happy about our project. We’re so happy to be able to give actual books to people who people in prisons who are having tough time and who don’t have access to books or reading.

·         E: There’s one more bit of advice that we have for Esau and Jacob, and it’s really important. Never give up on your twin sibling. Even if it takes a long time, what you share will always be more important than what divides you.

·         D: It took twenty years, but eventually Esau and Jacob learned that lesson and came back together to become one big happy family. Finally, their rivalry was over.

·         E: So those are Daniel and Elena’s helpful hints for our “Twin Survival Guide.” If only we’d been able to help Jacob and Esau, maybe they could have been friends for those 20 years and their lives would have been so much more meaningful having a brother and a friend around.

·         D: Well, Elena, at least we’re friends.  We get on each other’s nerves, but we also have lots of laughs.

Shabbat-O-Gram for November 13

Shabbat Shalom!

Mazal tov to the Salm family on Elena and Daniel's becoming b'nai mitzvah on Shabbat morning.  At that service, I'll also be reprising our ever popular "Great Toldot Taste Test."  This week's portion is a Jewish Foodie's paradise.  In it, food changes history, not once, but twice: first, there's Jacob's "Lentil Soup a la Ruddy" which entices Esau to sell his birthright, and then Jacob and Rebecca cook up a dinner scrumptious enough to trick isaac into giving his younger son the big blessing.  Read more in this week's parsha packet. Once again this week, we'll have a blind taste test of four scrumptious local hallahs.  Which one is the best?  BTW, to see a plethora of Jewish recipes, click here.

  

Anat Hoffman: Time to Roll up Our Sleeves

The rave reviews for this week's Hoffman lecture, attended by more than 300 people, are pouring in.  If you did not have a chance to hear it, or more to the point, if anyone in your family has expressed a sense of alienation of hopelessness regarding Israel, this lecture needs to be heard.  I have uploaded the audio, along with a photo album of the event. You can access both by clicking here.  Share the link!

Hoffman stated that when there is a job to be done, we have a choice: to throw up our hands or roll up our sleeves.  With regard to Israel, far too many of us have opted to walk away.  She gave us hope that positive change CAN happen, and in fact it already has, especially with regard to women's rights (not just at the Kotel, but even on the streets of ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods).  But there is much more work to be done, especially with regard to minorities and the non-Orthodox religious streams.  I was very encouraged by the turnout and the quality of the questions.  I think our community is ready to play a growing role in Anat Hoffman's important work.

Some follow up. 

• Click here if you are interested in seeing and purchasing the Women of the Wall tallit.  Makes a great Hanukkah gift!
• Speaking of Hanukkah, Anat Hoffman spoke about a campaign for a woman to light the Hanukkah menorah at the Kotel.  Here is the link for that.
• And speaking of the Women of the Wall, today is Rosh Hodesh Kislev.  See the archived video of this morning's service as live streamed just a few hours ago.
• And speaking of live stream, we are now streaming our own, amazing Friday night services - for now the link is available on request, as we complete our "soft launch."  Feel free to ask for it -but of course if you are in the area, there is no substitute for being here (as those who attend regularly will attest!)
• And speaking of everything we've been speaking about, join us for the showing of the film "Gett" on Tuesday at 7:30, followed by a discussion of this important and difficult film.  When it was shown several months back at the Avon Theater, a number of people asked me to explain the Jewish laws of divorce, which seem so unjust and unfair in this film (and yes, they are).  So we'll talk.  Time to roll up our sleeves, indeed.

Cantor Fishman at USCJ

We take great pride in Cantor Fishman's acclaim as one the great contemporary voices of the Jewish people.  Just this weekend, in addition to our Friday night and Shabbat services, she will be appearing at Bi-Cultural's Auction on Sunday, and then on Monday night, at the convention of the USCJ.  Take a look at this overview of the convention as well as the schedule, to get a sense of where the Conservative movement sees itself at this place and time.  And if you know someone who is attending, odds are you will hear something from them about how fortunate we are to have Cantor Fishman here.

S.M.I.L.E

I've written before about a remarkable teen in our congregation, Gaby Baum.  For a number of years, her rare medical condition has forced her to subsist on a very limited diet. Read her story in her own words (see p. 12).

But that has never stopped her.  Several years back, when she was still in middle school, she became her own best advocate, increasing awareness with a walkathon at her school.  She's been involved in a number of charitable projects in our community and has taken a real leadership role.  She has faced innumerable and escalating health challenges since then, with complications that would crush the spirit of a lesser person.  But Gaby has continued to maintain a remarkable air of optimism. She refuses to get down on herself or on the world, focusing instead on how she can help others.

During a recent visit, I suggested that she begin to write about her experiences.  I'm so glad that she has now begun doing just that.  Here is her first blog posting, appropriately entitled, "SMILE."  In fact, she has turned that word into an acronym.  Here's what she writes:

"In the mist of the past month through all the ups and downs this word has been in the forefront of my mind. This one word has kept me going and continues to remind me every day of how lucky I am. I am surrounded by amazing family and friends. Because of them I am able to smile and overcome the challenges I face.

I want to start my first blog post with this word. For me personally a smile's meaning is more than an emotion that your muscles express when you are happy. A smile shows that you care, that you can keep going, that everything is all right. One smile can change a life. Through my journey these past few years I have met some extraordinary people and each one has given me the gift of a smile. If there is one thing that I can say that I have learned and what to pass on it is this...

SMILE

So Much In Life (To) Enjoy

That is what a Smile is and that is what it does. Sitting in the hospital and at home I am trying to find a way to spread my message and do something. This is my first step on that road and I want to help spread the message to as many people as possible. It all starts with you.  If you see someone today at school, work, or on the street - give them a gift of a smile. It is a small and simple gesture that may change that person's day and goes much farther than the eye can see.

Here I am sending a smile to all of you :)"

Please check out her blog and pass along her timeless message to everyone you know.  And let her know how proud we all are of her.

Baby Hitler Refuses to Die

Suddenly, Baby Hitler is everywhere.  Since I presented four responses to the classic ethical dilemma in my Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur sermons, the little rug rat has been featured in the Atlantic and a New York Times poll (here are the results);Ben Carson has chimed in (won't kill him if he's a fetus) and Jeb Bush ("Hell, yeah!") too, and Stephen Colbert gave his take.  The Washington Post speculated on what a world without Baby Hitler would look like.  Social media outlets have piled on the satiric memes and tweets, and yes, there were tasteless Halloween bay Hitler costumes galore.

I'm not implying a causal effect between my sermons and the current craze.  In fact, I'm a little embarrassed by the connection, which has somewhat trivialized what I hoped was a very serious series of messages.  I wish the thing would run its course already, like a bad virus.  It only confirms what I claimed on Yom Kippur, that the obsession with Hitler (and by extension the Shoah) has intensified to the point of become unhealthy for Jews and other living things.

To reiterate my four responses to the moral dilemma, with quotes from the sermons:

1)    I'd hug him. 

I truly believe that every act of unconditional love has redemptive power. Each of us has incredible power.  All we need to do is hug a child to save the world.

But instead, what are we doing to our children? 

We're shooting them. We are stabbing them.  We are burning them.  We are sacrificing them on the altar of our ambitions.  We are humiliating them.  We are overindulging them.  We are ignoring them.  We are racing them to nowhere.  We are over-programming them.  We are infecting them with hate.   We are victimizing them because we hate.  We are enslaving them.  We are trafficking in them.   We're allowing them to wallow in loneliness. We are casting them off.  We are burdening them with excessive educational debt.  We are poisoning their earth.   We are filling their bellies with sugary soft drinks. We're numbing their minds with electronic distractions.  We are failing to show them the importance of service and seeing a world that is much larger than themselves.

For it's not about the mustachioed child we didn't hug in 1891, but the cherubic, innocent child we can hug today.  For that hug could save a life, or ten, or, who knows... millions. 

That hug could avert the evil decree.  That hug could redeem us all.            

2)    I'd kill him, and in doing so wipe out the "Amalek within."

Since it was Hitler's struggle to release the world from the "burdens" of morality and restraint, all the more so is it our crusade to reinforce those so-called burdens.  It is our task to champion conscience.  Our struggle - our Kampf - is to subdue that inclination to follow the crowd, to succumb to our first whim and to mindlessly obey the orders of impulse. 

In that way, God willing, may we vanquish Amalek - and its modern incarnation Hitler - forever from within our hearts.

3)    We cannot change history, nor should we want to.

No, I would not change history and kill two-year-old Hitler in order to prevent the Holocaust.  Nor would I go back and change a single choice that I've made, even ones that I regret.  Life is not lived backward; it is lived forward.  In fact, it is lived Fast Forward.  It is lived Far Forward. For while we humbly accept that we can't change history, let us boldly affirm that can make history - and let us forge that future as we walk along that tightrope, one step at a time, never looking down, never looking at ourselves, but always by imagining unborn worlds while fulfilling ancient dreams.

4)     I'd kill him, and in doing so cut off at the roots, at long last, the nightmares that continue to haunt us.

Google "Hitler" and you will find 101 MILLION results - the past year alone, over seventeen million.  The guy is dead seventy years.  We are giving this guy a shelf life he doesn't deserve.  It's time to slay the demon.  It's time to put little Adolf to bed, once and for all.

Listen, no one should be naïve to the real dangers that exist. One reason we are afraid to trust again is that we've been burned by trust in the past.   And by burned I don't just mean metaphorically.  So I get it.  It would be naïve to believe that after the scores of terror bombings, the thousands of missiles, and a million broken dreams, anyone would be willing to take large risks to trust the world right now, especially Israelis.

By killing the demon, I am not suggesting that we forget.  Heaven forbid we should forget the Holocaust!  On the contrary, any Judaism to emerge out of this new era must place the Holocaust experience directly at its core, or it will not be authentic; it will fail to speak to our need to confront this black hole in our history. But just as the new Judaism we are forging cannot ignore or deny the abyss, it must also speak to our religious need to affirm joy, beauty, renewed life and at least the possibility of a responsive divinity, or it will not be sustainable.  There needs to be a new balance between Auschwitz and Sinai that takes into account the lessons of both.

Our goal should be nothing less than for the next generation to see bearing witness not as a burden, but as a privilege, an honor, and yet another source of pride in who they are.

So I've presented four responses: By hugging the child, no matter who he or she may be; by reasserting the value of conscience and restraint; by taking the long view and thereby overcoming our inbred self centeredness; and finally, by cutting off at the roots, at long last, the nightmares that continues to haunt us, so that we might learn to have trust once again in the wondrous and priceless gift we have been given.  We must conquer the mistrust that paralyzes us, whether in commerce, in the public square, at home, in the synagogue or in the depths of our souls.  Too much is at stake - and there is so little time.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Joshua Pickel on Toldot

Shabbat Shalom!

Many of you know that I’ve done a lot of acting.  For instance, I was in a couple of episodes of “Law and Order,” also in “Royal Pains,” and did a voice over for a commercial for Heinz ketchup that was shown during the Little League World Series.

I liked doing it – A LOT – but acting is not as glamorous as it’s cracked up to be.  It can be really EXHAUSTING work, especially for my mom who has to SCHLEP me to all of my auditions and calls to the set.

I was happy to hear that my portion contains one of the greatest acting roles in the entire Torah.  Jacob plays none other than his brother Esau in a high stakes game to convince his father, Isaac, that he is the one who should get the blessing and NOT his brother. 

It’s also funny that even from when I was really young, I always wanted to become bar mitzvah on a week when we read about Jacob. 

Jacob is arguably the GREATEST actor in Jewish history.  His name even means DECEIVER.  And, later on, he gains a new stage name as he enters the stage of history, “Israel.”  What becomes clear about Jacob is, that through his acting, his true self emerges.  Even as he pretends to be his brother, he learns a lot about himself and the power he has to change things. 

So in the commercial when I said, “Heinz, proud sponsor of Little League,” I helped people to draw a connection between America’s national pastime and a company that makes ketchup. 

Does that make the world a better place?  Probably not, BUT, it helps me to know that the words I speak CAN change things.  Other actors can make people laugh and cry.  For now, I know I can make them like ketchup. 

Becoming a bar mitzvah is very similar.  I recite words on a stage that make people cry – ESPECIALLY my parents.  I have to memorize lines and work on how to present them.  And when all is said and done, I CAN make a difference.

In this case, though, I’m not pretending to be someone else.  I’m showing people who I REALLY am.  I’m doing something I love and showing all of you the role I want to play in the Jewish community.  This is one of the most important roles I’ll ever play.  

So here’s another role that I once played, for a theater at camp:  Peter Pan.   I think it’s safe to say that Peter Pan never became a bar mitzvah.  He NEVER wanted to grow up.  AND, I must confess that there’s a little Peter Pan in me.  But by taking on this new role as a bar mitzvah, I recognize that I HAVE to grow up.  Still, I hope I can combine the two roles in some way.  I never want to lose the playfulness of Peter……but at the same time, I need to gain the sense of responsibility of a Jewish adult.

Which brings me to my mitzvah project.  Some of you already know that I’ve been selling chocolate and raising money for UNICEF in order to pay for the cost of one of car to carry supplies for children in need.  I need to sell 1,500 candy bars to reach the $3,000 goal.  I’m well on my way – BUT… if you have a sweet tooth and want to buy some, email me after Shabbat!

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Charlotte Freund on Toldot

Shabbat Shalom!

As many of you know, I have a keen interest in art.   You can see an example of my work on the back of my Bat Mitzvah booklet.  Being an artist has helped me to look at the world around me with wide open eyes. For example, when I created something called the “Tree of Life” in art class, it took me several sessions of painting while looking at trees in order to get it right. Doing art forces you to be more observant and look beyond the surface.

In my portion of Toldot, Isaac is depicted as being blind.  Commentators explain that the blindness was not purely physical.   Some say he was affected by the traumas of his childhood, when he was nearly sacrificed by his father Abraham.  Others claim that he was blind to his own children’s flaws, especially those of his older son Esau. 

It’s understandable that Isaac acted this way. 

For example, one modern commentator said, a grandmother she knew would swear that if her grandkids were ax murderers, they would be the BEST ax murderers out there because they could do no wrong.  The commentator then poses the question: “Do we do our children a favor when we raise them with what looks like unconditional love, but is blind denial, pretending to be love, Jacob and Esau’s clothes?”

I think the answer is no.  We need to see clearly the flaws in ourselves and others, even those we love.  If Isaac had done that, perhaps Esau wouldn’t have strayed so far from his family.  The brothers didn’t see each other for 20 years and the family was torn apart. And Jacob wasn’t so perfect either.  If his parents had been less tolerant of Jacob’s scheming, maybe Jacob wouldn’t have had to run away from home and get into all kinds of trouble.

People my age tend to close their eyes to things – we don’t listen to the advice we’re getting. Like when a teacher suggests that a paper be revised or that we come to them after class but we don’t take advantage of it. Also when we don’t listen to our parents like when they suggest not to stay up to late on a school night and then we can’t get up in the morning.

As we grow up, we tend to rely more and more on first impressions and don’t see the whole person.  In the Torah, Jacob and Esau are stereotyped by their parents: Jacob is seen as the scholar and Esau the athlete.  I think there’s a little of Jacob and a little of Esau in everyone.  Certainly, in me.   It’s too easy to stereotype people.  Everyone does it, saying things like, “He’s such a nerd” or “She’s so fake,” when in fact, everyone is much more complicated than we might think.

Also, it’s important not to be blind to the suffering of those around you.  My mitzvah project has helped me to understand that people in our community are going hungry, even though we may not see them every day.  I’ve volunteered at the food pantry at Person to Person and now I am working with young children at the Boys and Girls Club of Stamford helping them with their homework.  There’s a prayer in the morning blessings where we thank God for opening the eyes of the blind.  When I volunteered at these two places, it helped me to understand what this prayer really means.

Also, as part of my mitzvah project, and in remembering the great trip to Israel I took with my family through the temple three years ago, I’ll be donating a portion of my Bat Mitzvah money to The Israeli Guide Dog Center for the Blind. The Center’s mission is to improve the quality of life of people who are vision impaired by providing them with safe mobility, independence and self-confidence through the faithful assistance of guide dogs.  I only wish Isaac had been able to take advantage of this program.  It might have made a big difference in the lives of his sons.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Hudson Price on Toldot

Shabbat shalom. Thank you all for coming here to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah – my whole family is here, all of my friends are here – everyone I love. This week’s parsha is significant because of the story of the twins Jacob and Esav. I love to go camping, hiking, boating, and especially mountain biking. So, given all of this, you would think that I am a big fan of Esav, one of the two twins discussed in today’s torah portion. He was a big outdoorsman, and Isaac loved him the most because of his great hunting skills.

Ya’acov, on the other hand, was known for spending most of his time indoors, in a tent, studying.  (I enjoy that too, by the way).

So you can understand why I feel compelled to ask, why do the Torah and the commentators, for the past three thousand years, all seem to favor Ya’acov?  Why does Rebecca favor him?  Why does God seem to favor him?

I think it all comes down to how Judaism defines a hero.  The Talmud asks, “Who is a hero?”  “Ayze-hu Gibor?” The answer is “Hakovesh et yitzro” – the one who controls his impulses. 

I know all about heroes.  I’m a big fan of Marvel and especially the Iron Man series.  

While some families in Stamford sit around the dinner table discussing their day, the Prices dive into deep conversations about what defines a superhero.

Is Batman a real super hero?  Not in my mind.  The argument can be made that Batman just uses a bunch of gadgets and has no real super powers.  Couldn’t anyone can get into shape and buy a Bat mobile?

So by that standard, if Batman isn’t a super hero, Esav isn’t either.  He isn’t even good. He may have been a great hunter but that doesn’t make someone a hero.  If anything, he is the exact opposite of the Talmud’s definition.  If you are defining a hero as someone who can control his impulses, well, Esav did not do too well on that count.

You might recall that at the beginning of the portion, Esav sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.  He could not control his hunger. I hope it was good soup!

While Esav was not a hero, by the Jewish definition, there are lots of heroes who have never been in comic books or movies, selfless people who made great sacrifices at great risk without looking for recognition.

One such hero was my great great uncle Hy. He was an amazing person who passed away in 2009.  Whenever things seemed hopeless, he always found a reason to smile.  He never gave in to the fear or despair during World War II and was able to overcome the most impossible odds by helping hundreds of refugees in post war Europe immigrate to Israel.

The Zionist movement needed money, arms and a way to smuggle the Jews out of Eastern Europe. The L’Brecha organization was being funded by American Jews.  They had brought large sums of American money to Bratislava.  With the money, Uncle Hy and his friend purchased a hotel. This hotel fronted the comings and goings of Eastern European survivors who were looking to return to their homeland, Israel.  Uncle Hy would travel by smuggling himself from boarder to boarder. He risked his life to bring money and a way to escape for hundreds of Eastern European Jews. He went fearlessly, faking different dialects and bribing border patrols to let him in and out of countries in the dead of night. In 1946 Golda Meir personally thanked and acknowledged my Uncle for his bravery on behalf of the people of Israel.

It’s in his memory that, as part of my Mitzvah project, I will be donating money to Yad Vashem, the holocaust museum in Israel.  I earned the money by making rainbow loom bracelets and selling snacks at school.

So, although I love outdoor activities as well as reading, I understand that neither by itself makes you a hero.  Yes, self-control, matters – but you need to care for others too. To quote the Disney film “Hercules,”   “A hero is not measured by the size of his strength, but the strength of his heart.”

Shabbat O Gram for November 1

The Thanksgivukkah Dilemma, Stamford’s New Trader Joes, Shalom TV, Hebrew School Dybbuks, Jacob’s Kitchen Challah Taste Test and Why Balfour Day Matters (but what the heck is it?)

Shabbat Shalom.  Yes, I’m delighted about the Red Sox and appreciate everyone’s congreatulations and your tolerance of my insufferableness over the past few weeks. It was a great run, and a healing, joyous moment for a city that has suffered quite a bit this year.

Mazal Tov to Hudson Price and Rebecca Morgenthaler, who become b’nai mitzvah this weekend. I am proudly wearing a Rainbow Loom bracelet that Hudson is distributing as part of his mitzvah project.  Incidentally, last week’s S.O.G commentary, “Are Rainbow Looms Kosher?” has been one of the most widely read feature op-eds on the Times of Israel site this past week.   There’s lots of interest in this new fad. 

Check out David Lang’s bar mitzvah d’var Torah from last Shabbat afternoon, on the portion Toldot.  Speaking of Toldot, which is this Shabbat morning’s portion, see G-dcast’s creative take on the portion for kids, “A Cheater Who Prospers.” 

Tomorrow, BTW, is a Jewish holiday that no one knows about.  Read this article about Balfour Day and why we should care about it, as people still bicker over the Jews’ right to a national homeland. And if you are into Jewish history, check out this interactive Jewish history timeline now featured at MyJewishLearning.

Dybbuks and Golems at TBE

Yesterday at Hebrew School the attendance was excellent, considering it was Halloween.  Kudos to our new educator, Lisa Gittelman Udi, who created an entire program on how Jewish folklore treats the occult.  Golems and demons filled our chapel! I even got to exorcise a dybbuk, something they never taught me in rabbinical School! I just improvised, asking the dybbuk to please leave the premises. It worked (and not a single head spun 360 degrees)!  To quote one of our students to his parents, “Hebrew School was so much fun today!  Totally awesome!”  We aim for “awesome” – and it really was!

We’re hearing “awesome” quite a bit from our students this year.  I only feel badly for those who missed out, choosing to start their trick or treating early and not realizing that an even greater time was to be had in, of all places, Hebrew School.  Yes, this is not your father’s Religious School. It’s totally awesome!

Pewish and Jewish on Shalom TV

See me discussing the Pew Research center report on American Jews on Rabbi Mark Golub’s “L’Chayim” program this Sunday at noon and 6 PM on Shalom TV, Cablevision channel 138.  Shalom TV, which last week broadcast TBE’s recent Hoffman Lecture, continues to provide the most relevant and thought provoking Jewish programming on the airwaves.  Check it out!

Interfaith Climate Summit

I will have the honor of participating next Thursday in the plenary session of the Interfaith Climate Stewardship Summit in Hartford.  The Summit is a full day conference designed to educate and inspire religious and lay leadership on the issue of climate change as the moral imperative of our time. Attendees will learn the theological background for environmental stewardship as well as the connection between climate change and traditional ministries, such as hunger, poverty, conflict, and disaster relief.  Participants will leave the event with tools and support to address climate change in their congregations. For more information, please visit the conference website.  See the full program here.

Trader Joes and Jacob’s Kitchen Challah Taste Test

Welcome to Stamford, Trader Joes (and see TBE’s Linda Rothman in this photo from the Stamford Advocate article about yesterday’s grand opening). In honor of that opening, and in conjunction with this, the most culinary Torah portion of the year (Esau sells his birthright for a bowl of Jacob’s lentils, then Jacob and Rebecca cook up a tasty meal to gain Isaac’s blessing), we’ll be doing the SECOND ANNUAL JACOB’S KITCHEN BLIND CHALLAH TASTE TEST at services tomorrow morning and a kids version at Tot Shabbat this evening.  Get ready to compare Trader Joes with Stop and Shop, Beldotti and Fairway, and judge which is the best in Stamford. 

The Thanksgivukkah Dilemma

Welcome to November, which begins today and the Hebrew month of Kislev, which begins Sunday.

I flipped my calendar this morning and lo and behold, all those rumors I’ve been hearing are true: Yes, Hanukkah begins before Thanksgiving (technically the night before) for the first time in 125 years and the last time for 79,043 years, according to one calculation.  Thanksgivukkah has become a big deal in the media, though many Jewish families have combined the two celebrations before, when Hanukkah has begun while families were still gathered for the long holiday weekend. It’s fun, it’s inspired a whole host of creative ideas and lots of Jewish pride. Buzzfeed calls it “the best holiday of all time.” There’s even a song, “The Ballad of Thanksgivukkah.”

Here’s a chance for Jews to celebrate two holidays at once without the second holiday posing significant theological problems for us.  Here’s a chance to combine Hanukkah with its American counterpart, totally guilt free. 

Here’s a chance to have your cranberry-latke stuffing and eat it too.

But people are ignoring the other side of the matter.  What happens when the turkey is digested and the final candle has burned out?  What will happen this year on December 5, when Hanukkah is behind us and Christmas has the month all to itself?

I’ll tell you what will happen.  Hanukkah will in fact be prolonged, like a souped-up dreidel. Much like the endless Christmas season, this year’s Hanukkah will drag on eternally, clear through to January.  You see, as obsessed as American Jews are becoming with Thanksgivukkah, most of the other 97 percent of Americans will not get the memo.  For them, Hanukkah will be in December, as usual.

Yes, Virginia, there still will be a "December Dilemma" this year, that annual uphill battle against the pervasive, domineering cultural crescendo of all things Christmas.  Hanukkah is typically, the greatest ally in this fight. Jews have been able to match those Twelve Days of Christmas with our Eight Crazy Nights, pit menorah against mistletoe, watch dreidels twirl against the tinsel, our lights against their lights, the blue and white against the green and red.

It's not a fair fight, especially with regard to the songs, although if you disqualify those Christmas classics written by Jews, things get more interesting.

My interest in this is very personal. My father was born on the first day of Hanukkah in 1918, a rare year when the first night of Hanukkah coincided with the late afternoon of Thanksgiving, and he died on the last day of Hanukkah in 1979, which just happens to be the most recent time the holiday ended on New Year's Day. Plus, our last name, in rough translation, means Maccabee.

But this dilemma raises questions that go far beyond my own family. What should Jews say when well-intended shopkeepers wish us a "Happy Hanukkah" on Christmas Eve, weeks after our holiday has ended?

Do we return those unwanted Barbie dolls during those non-existent "after Hanukkah sales," or do we dare hold onto them until Dec. 26, when the prices really go down? Without Hanukkah to fall back on, how do we resist the Yuletide onslaught on television and in our schools? Is it possible to add a few weeks onto Hanukkah on a one-time-only basis?

I suppose that with the Christmas season now beginning as early as October, there's nothing so wrong about letting Hanukkah be extended a few weeks in the other direction, especially since that will enable Jews and their neighbors to share this season of good will in a manner that respects diversity rather than demanding homogeneity.

So by all means, non Jews, wish me a Happy Hanukkah all December long. If that legendary oil could miraculously burn for eight whole days, what's another twenty one? The ancient rabbis instructed Jews to increase the light each night in order to spread the joy and publicize the miracle. No one ever said that we have to stop at eight. In fact, Jewish law states that the Sabbath can be extended far beyond its natural conclusion on Saturday night, even until midweek. So let Hanukkah linger as well, even if only in the well wishes of neighbors.

In the spirit of M.O.T. Jerry Herman's song from "Mame," "We Need a Little Christmas," another Yuletide classic with a Yiddish soul, maybe this year we should sing, "We a Little MORE Hanukkah," enough to last clear to the end of the month.

Let's keep those flames burning, all December long -- and even beyond. During these trying times, we all could use a little more light.

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Kislev!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman