Shabbat-O-Gram for September 13

Shabbat-O-Gram 

The Shabbat Announcements are sponsored 

by Dana and Robert Luther in honor of their son, Michael, becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

Shabbat Shalom

It was fun last night to meet some of our new and prospective members who joined us at my home for dinner.  What impressed me most was how, despite a wide diversity of demographics, they all are looking for the same thing - a place that is warm and welcoming.  Tell your friends about TBE!

Mazal tov to the Luther and Plansky families on Michael's becoming Bar Mitzvah this Shabbat.  Michael is a huge Disney fan, so join us on Shabbat morning to learn where Disney themes and Judaism intersect.  On Friday night I'll be joined by Beth Styles for our service, with musical guest Jason Terry. Join us and see why attendance has remained consistently high through the summer and into September. 

Sunday morning marks the last day of my 11 months of saying Kaddish for my mother.  Sunday is also the first day of Hebrew School, and I'm looking forward to seeing the kids returning from their summer adventures.  

We now have 300 reservations for next Thursday's live-taping of the Unorthodox podcast, featuring Rabbi Joseph Telushkin and Farook Kathwari.  We are expecting many more than that to be here.  While you don't have to reserve in advance, it will help us to prepare if you do.  And by all means, get here early that evening.  Details at the bottom of this email.  Meanwhile, see what all the fuss is about and listen to Unorthodox's most recent podcast.  You can also see that TBE is perfectly positioned right at the top of Unorthodox's upcoming book tour for their "Newish Jewish Encyclopedia."

Israel votes on Tuesday - again.  For a concise summary of the who's what's and why's of this election, see this handy briefing put together by the Jewish Federations of North America.  And for more background, see this recent survey by the Israel Democracy Institute, revealing that Jewish Israelis are in favor of a unity government.  We'll see if they get their wish!

Watch the televised returns as they come in on Tuesday at 8 PM right here at TBE, with insights and background provided by TBE member Pinchas Gross.  Also on Tuesday - from 7-8, you can partake of Rabbi Gerry Ginsburg's series preparing us for the High Holidays.

In Purdue Pharma's Backyard

There is absolutely no reason for us to feel any sense of responsibility or discomfort at the news of the Purdue Pharma opiods settlement.  But as we see the Stamford dateline on all the stories coming out (along with photos of the their headquarters along rt. 95), combined with the Jewish connections of the Sackler family, including their philanthropic history, it can't help but cause discomfort.  This is not a good time to be a Jewish philanthropist, with the stench of Madoff still discernible, along with the still unfolding saga of Jeffrey Epstein, which has sullied the legacy of the Wexner foundation. So what are we to do?

For better or for worse, the Sacklers have never donated a million dollars to TBE - which would have been a good investment, I should add, and I encourage others to do so while our endowment - capital campaign is still ongoing.  Had they done so, would we have given it back?  Ask me when it's not so hypothetical.  For instance, if a hospital accepts a million tainted dollars that have been used to cure diseases, I think the prudent thing would be to pocket the cash but take down the plaque.  The Louvre has done just that with Sackler donations.

But more to the point, this confluence of facts that has landed us right at "ground zero" of the opiod crisis demands that we be more active in dealing with the crisis itself.

So mark your calendars for Tuesday evening, November 19, when we will be hosting Rabbi Rick Eisenberg, an old friend (he attended my wedding) and author of the new book, "Emerging from the Fog: Judaism, Addiction and Recovery: A Spiritual and Fact Based Approach." Read more about the book here.  Rick, who served as a rabbi in Woodbridge and is a lifelong Connecticut resident, wrote this book as a wake-up call to the Jewish community.  His approach draws upon models that extend beyond the 12-Step philosophy.  The opiod crisis is our crisis too, and we can't afford to ignore it.

So, yes, we do reside at opiod addiction's "ground zero."  But so does every religious institution in America.  If we don't step up to help our own parishioners, who will?

Some Resources on Heshbon Hanefesh (Soul Searching) during this month of Teshuvah

Teshuvah comes from the word meaning "return."  Heshbon Hanefesh is "soul searching" (Literally, taking an accounting of the soul), which is what Jews do during the month prior to the High Holidays and on the Ten days of Repentance, the High Holidays themselves.

Read more about teshuvah here

Read Maimonides "Laws of Teshuvah" translated here

Here are some other ethics-ercises I recommend for Elul:

As we approach the Days of Awe, our annual exercise in self scrutiny and stock-taking can be a daunting task. Rather than highlight a single ethical dilemma this week, I offer here some suggestions, some "ethics-ercises," as it were, to assist you on this journey.

Study Maimonides' "Laws of Personality and Character Development." Find the texts here.

 Dr. Rambam had some fascinating insights on human behavior and the relation between body and soul.

 Note especially the following advice:

2:3 - There are times when one shouldn't be moderate - there is no middle road with regard to arrogance and humility; we should all aim for Moses-esque super-humility.
2:4 - Cultivate silence.
2:5 - Enough with the kvetching already!
2:6 - Don't be a phony.
2:7 - Find middle ground between moroseness and being giddy
4:1 - Dr. Rambam's diet - only eat when you are hungry!
2:4 - Get 8 hours sleep
2:7 - Eat poultry first
2:11 - Avoid fruits (!)
2:15 - Exercise (and move those bowels, too!)
4:23 - A Torah sage needs to have these things in his community (includes a blood letter and a latrine)
5:7 - No Yelling!!
5:13 - Be honest
6:3 - Love everyone

Another good site for Elul is Jewels of Elul- a daily dose of inspiration, created by Craig Taubman. Pearls of wisdom are shared each day, culled from an eclectic array of voices.

Check out The Mussar Institute, which, according to their website, "exists to provide people with ideas and practical tools deriving from the Mussar tradition in Judaism that will help, guide and motivate them to develop and improve the qualities of their inner lives, in fulfillment of the potential of their souls as well as for the benefit of the world." 

The Jewish Council for Public Affairs suggests that we focus on civility.  As they put it, "This sacred season impels us to consider how we speak and listen-in our relationships and in community-as a central part of our work of teshuva/repentance." Given the tone of political dialogue in Washington - not to mention the accusatory self righteousness that has infested American Jews' conversations about Israel, civility has become a major concern. See their Civility Statement and additional resources on civility.  And see my call for Civility Metrics: What Can Be Done About Toxic Political Climate).

Interested in improving your Business Ethics? See the website of the Business Halacha Institute. I find it to be a superb resource. Also see the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem, another excellent resource.

I've collected some more links and resources, spiritual preparations, guided meditations, etc. in my blog entry, Preparing for the Awesome Days.  The road ahead will not be easy, but we can be comforted that the hard work of Teshuvah can also bring about great reward, simply in the doing. In this case, the journey itself is far more significant than the destination. The following wisdom from Nachman of Bratzlav can guide us:

"Know that it is necessary to judge each person favorably, and even someone who is completely evil, one needs to search for and to find in him some little bit of goodness, that in that little bit, he is not evil. By means of this, that one finds in him a little goodness, and judges him favorably, by this, one elevates him actually into favorable judgment and returns him in teshuvah... for how is it possible that there is within him no little bit of goodness at all - that he never did any mitzvah or good thing in his whole life? By means of this, you can find within him another small bit of good, a place within him that is not evil, and judge him favorably... until he returns in teshuvah...

... So too a person needs to find (a point of goodness) also within himself... even when he begins to look into himself and he sees that there is within him no goodness at all, and he is full of sins... even so it is not permitted to despair because of this, rather he needs to search and to find within himself some small point of goodness... and even if he begins to look at this good thing and he finds that it is full of flaws... despite all of this, he can extract from it some point of goodness, and continue to search for and collect other points of goodness and by means of this they will be made into niggunim ("melodies")... and then he will be able to pray and to sing and to give thanks to God..."

Good luck on your journey, and my best wishes for a year of sweetness, fulfillment and love.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Shabbat-O-Gram for October 18

Mazal tov to Helene Leichter and her family, and we thank them for sponsoring this week's Shabbat announcements and Shabbat-O-Gram, honoring Helene's bat mitzvah, which will take place tomorrow afternoon.   Join us for services then as well as this evening at 7:30.  At services on Shabbat morning, I'll be taking a special look at the sacrifice of Isaac as depicted in the arts. As you can see in this sneak preview and study guide, the Akeda has captured the imagination of artists, poets and essayists of all faith traditions for thousands of years, up until this very week, when it was the subject of a humorous cartoon in the New Yorker.  Also, see my Jewish Week column this week, "One Year Later, Taking Ownership of Sandy," based loosely on my comments on Rosh Hashanah.

Last night I traveled to Newtown at the invitation of a congregant in her late 20s who was speaking to high school freshmen of her struggles with alcoholism and addiction. was eager to support Rachael (her first name is being used with permission); she has moved on so beautifully with her life and I am so proud of her for surmounting her personal hell and being willing to share her story with teens.  I also wanted to see Newtown, at long last, to begin to understand whether they too have begun to move on from their own hellish nightmare.  More on my reactions to visiting Newtown in next week's Shabbat-O-Gram.

The speakers who gave testimony, including Rachael, all received prolonged standing ovations.  But the question remains, will the teens listen?  Will these teens and parents, who have seen the consequences of irresponsibility, reckless behavior and mental illness so starkly, who live in a community that has suffered so immeasurably, will they act more responsibly because of it?  

Although some surveys indicate that programs like this are having a positive effect, the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that among high school students, during the past 30 days (see more statistics here):

• 39% drank some amount of alcohol.
• 22% binge drank.
• 8% drove after drinking alcohol.
• 24% rode with a driver who had been drinking alcohol.

Rachael spoke powerfully about her "allergy" to alcohol, saying "I put it in my body and I break out in stupid," and she was brutally honest about the consequences of the bad choices she made.  She focused on self esteem issues and the self-inflicted bullying that oftentimes is even crueler than the bullying inflicted by others.  She said that every time she drank she only fueled that self loathing, and how that addiction destroyed everything in her path.  Her recovery has been a blessing, and she can barely recognize the person she describes, the person she was, when she speaks with numerous groups of students.

I was very proud of her and felt blessed that in some way I've been able to help her get back up on her feet.  But as she spoke, it occurred to me that I also was part of the world that let her fall.  And not just a bit player.  I wondered how many signals I miss from the hundreds of teens I know now and the thousands who have come through my office over the years.  This is an enormous burden and a constant reminder to me that my own actions have enormous consequences.  But not just me.

All of us are role models, comforters, cajolers and boosters.  We need to think long and hard about all the decisions we make with regard to alcohol and other substances. Because we can be sure that somewhere, it will have an impact on a child.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Jews and Addiction: Must Reading

Rabbinic Pastor David Daniel Klipper spoke about the subject of Jews and Addiction at yesterday's service. His words were so important that I've uploaded the entire sermon. Click here to see it.

As he said:

The most important thing I want to say about addictions is the
following: Jews are not immune. Jews do use – they use alcohol, they
use drugs, and they become addicted to sex, gambling, food and
spending.

While it may be possible that Jews are slightly underrepresented in the alcoholic population, it is thought that Jews are overrepresented in terms of certain types of drug addiction, such as cocaine addiction.

When it comes to what are called “process addictions”, like overeating, spending and gambling”, it is reasonable to believe that Jews are also well represented. How many stereotypes are there of Jews who are compulsive shoppers? How many Jews have food issues, whether compulsive eating, anorexia or bulimia? Jews are just as capable of being sex and pornography addicts as anyone else. According to one source, Jews make up approximately 30% of the membership of Gamblers’ Anonymous nationwide, or four times our percentage of the American population, and in some Florida locations GA meetings are as much as 80% Jewish.

Addiction can also seem pretty hopeless. But it is possible for addicts who really want to, and who are willing to do what it takes to find, with God’s help, recovery and a way of life that is better than anything they experienced before.

"Jews Do Use: Addiction in the Jewish Community"

This Shabbat morning at our V0lunteer Recognition service will be Rabbinic Pastor David Daniel Klipper, who will speak about Jews and addiction. The title of his presentation will be "Jews Do Use." A day-long conference on Jews and addiction will be held in our community on April 26, with a keynote address being given by Rabbi Richard Eisenberg.

Addiction is a topic that people would rather speak about. Jews especially tend to stick our heads in the sand. But daily it is destroying families and taking lives. Our youth all know how prevalent drinking is in the schools (we nearly lost a teen last year from an accident following a beer party) and drugs are readily available and cheap. I hope teens will make a special effort to come tomorrow to hear David.

But this problem effects adults as well. Read about this issue in greater detail at the USCJ website, along with this essay, "Everyone Knows Jews Don't Drink, and other Myths."

Yes Jews do use, and they bet and eat compuslively and display other forms of addictive behavior.

One expert wrote,

There is a misconception in the general public that alcoholism and addiction are not medical diseases, but rather a question of moral character and will power. This idea has helped to reinforce the widely held cultural belief that Jews are immune to the ravages of this deadly affliction. Addiction is a disease that can be diagnosed by the disease model criteria held by the AMA (American Medical Association). It is not the addict or alcoholics fault that they have this disease (the same way diabetics are not to blame for their ailment), yet it absolutely the addicts obligation to recover. Alcoholism and addiction like diabetes is an incurable, eventually terminal disease that can be treated, and with vigilance be arrested for a lifetime. Click here for more.

Here you can find a Jewish version of the Twelve Step Program:

Step One:
A. Self Diagnosis, symptom identification and admission.
B. Powerlessness and free-will choice.
C. What is meant by the idea of the insanity of addiction/alcoholism?
D. Unmanageability.
E. Five mistakes that lead to relapse.
F. The nature of denial and how to break it.

Step Two:
A. Coming to believe, the nature of faith.
B. Why a Higher Power, and is that Power only G-d?
C. Identifying the solution, basic concepts of the Creator.

Step Three:
A. Self-will and the actor.
B. The nature of the decision, and the meaning of the third step prayer.

Step Four:
A. The intent of the inventory and what is searching and fearless?
B. General structure and process of the inventory.
C. The roots of fear and resentments.
D. Removing resentments and fear and understanding the sex inventory.

Step Five:
A. What is confession and what is to be accomplished?
B. What is different now, and what does the exact nature of our wrongs mean?
C. Who should hear the confession?

Step Six:
A. Willingness.
B. Developing a vision for the future.

Step Seven:
A. What is humility?
B. Seventh Step Prayer and intent .

Step Eight:
A. The concepts behind amends and forgiveness.
B. Definitions of harm.

Step Nine:
A. Making Amends to those we love.
B. Making Financial Amends.
C. Amends to those we can’t contact including the dead.
D. Amends to society.
E. The wrong way to do it.

Step Ten:
A. What’s different from the fourth step inventory?
B. Truth and honesty.
C. Motives.

Step Eleven:
A. What is prayer?
B. Why pray, doesn’t G-d already know?
C. Types of meditation.
D. Why do we stand in prayer?
E. Selflessness.
D. Intuition and the mind.
E. Love, Worship and Awe of G-d
F. What is meant by light and spirit?
G. The five levels of the soul.;
H. The five supernal universes.

Step Twelve:
A. Helping Others.
B. Practicing the principles.
C. What is the spiritual awakening?
D. The group experience in carrying the message.
E. Sponsorship.
F. Making the Approach to the newcomer.
G. Taking others through the steps.