"Heads Up" Interesting, Comprehensive Profile of J-Street from Tablet

This is about the best profile I've seen exploring the origins and growth of J-Street and placing it in the context the anti-establishment Jewish left as it has evolved over the past few decades.

J Street chief Jeremy Ben-Ami calls the plays for the first self-confident alternative Jewish establishment http://www.tabletmag.com/news-and-politics/48730/heads-up/

Hammerman on Ethics: To Gift or Not To Gift, That is the Question

To Gift or Not To Gift, That is the Question

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman
Special to the Jewish Week

Q. My daughter’s bat mitzvah will occur next December, and she is currently in 6th grade. Parents are encouraged to invite the entire Hebrew School class, but because the synagogue office has been giving out addresses by calendar year and not by grade, she is already getting a number of invitations from 7th graders whom she doesn’t know.

She won’t be attending, but are we required to send a gift? And this brings up a more serious question as I begin to make my plans. Is it ethical to invite someone (to a bar mitzvah or to anything) who you know will not be able to come? And do I have to invite family members who have snubbed us in the past?

Click here for the response

Sign the JCPA Statement on Civility

Sign the JCPA Statement on Civility


In American society, especially in our diverse Jewish community, we value robust and vigorous debate about pressing issues. Such debate is one of the greatest features of our democracy and one of the hallmarks of our people. We revel in our tradition of debate: A frank and civil exchange of ideas helps to inform our decisions, provoke new ways of thinking, and sometimes even change our minds.

And yet today, the expression and exchange of views is often an uncivil, highly unpleasant experience. Community events and public discussions are often interrupted by raised voices, personal insults, and outrageous charges. Such incivility serves no purpose but to cheapen our democracy. When differences spiral down into uncivil acrimony, the dignity of individuals and community is diminished, and our precious democracy is weakened. People holding diverse views cease to listen to each other. Lack of civility makes it more difficult, if not impossible, to open minds, much less find common ground.

Therefore we as a community and as individuals, must pledge to uphold the basic norms of civil discussion and debate at our public events. We do this not to stifle free expression of views, but rather to protect it.

We will discover civility in the guarding of our tongues and the rejection of false witness. We will find it wherever we show care for the dignity of every human being, even those with whom we may strongly disagree. We will find it by listening carefully when others speak, seeking to understand what is being said and trying to learn from it.

This pursuit has deep roots in Torah and in our community’s traditions. Our Sages saw the fruit of arguments that were conducted l’shem shamayim, “for the sake of Heaven.” They fervently believed that great minds, engaged in earnest search and questioning, could find better and richer solutions to the problems they faced. They refrained from insisting on uniformity. They sought to preserve and thereby honor the views of the minority as well as the majority. They did so through their understanding of the great teaching of Eilu v’elu divrei Elokim chayim, “both these words and those are the words of the living God.”

As a community, we must commit ourselves and ask others to open their hearts and minds to healthy, respectful dialogue based on our love for our neighbors and our people.

We therefore agree to treat others with decency and honor and to set ourselves as models for civil discourse, even when we disagree with each other.

We commit ourselves to this course to preserve an essential element of a community – the ability to meet and talk as brothers and sisters.

Fairway Opening in Stamford!

I'm forwarding this very important announcement from the local Kosher Activist Committee (SKAC). It's an enormous leap in the quality of Jewish life for our growing community.

The Stamford Kosher Activists Committee, along with the rest of the local kosher community have been anticipating this month’s long awaited Grand Opening of the new Fairway Market, the company’s seventh store opening, right here in Stamford at Harbor Point ( 699 Canal Street), just south of I-95 and the train tracks.

The store’s layout and product selection of competitively priced fish, meats, baked goods, fruit, vegetables, cheeses, coffees, gourmet and organic foods will be quite similar to their other closest store in Pelham Manor, NY ( exit 7, off Hutchinson Parkway).

The Stamford store has similar kosher departments, such as a Kosher butcher (fresh Glatt kosher meats and Kosher chicken), freshly cut and packaged on premise, under the Rabbinical supervision of Rabbi Avrohom Marmorstein (Mehadrin Kashrus) and the Vaad Hakashrut of Fairfield County (VKFC), who will also supervise the Kosher bakery. The cheese department will offer an assortment of both hard and soft kosher domestic & imported cheeses, including Cholov Yisroel, throughout the store.


Besides what is packed out daily on the store shelves in the fresh glatt kosher meat dept., orders will be accepted over the phone (203-388-9815) or from the in-store phone, located near the kosher meat dept.

Most orders will be available the same day. Larger and specialty orders will be available 24-48 hours, following placement.

The bakery will have signage directing customers to kosher parve and dairy products.

The Kosher grocery aisle will have a variety of products, produced regionally and from Israel. There is also a kosher frozen section as well.

There will also be a Fairway Wine & Liquor adjacent to the Market store, carrying a variety of kosher wines for your shopping convenience.

SKAC is planning a local Kosher community wide meeting with the Kosher dept. management at Fairway in early 2011, allowing both store management and its customer base to create a dialogue of both availability and customer product and service requests.
STAY TUNED !

While shopping at the store, please take a moment to say hello and thank you to Mr. Moshe Morrison, Director of Kosher Foods.


Local kosher shopper patronage, will of course provide a position of strength to the SKAC, to work with store management, to discuss expanding the current planned kosher depts. even further.

The store is open from 8:00 AM to 11:00 PM Daily
Visit their website at fairwaymarket.com
Store Phone # 203-388-9815

Eat & Enjoy,

Avi Greif

Chairman
SKAC
avig1@optonline.net

Premiere: Judd Apatow & Friends Working For AJWS

Kirtan Shabbat

Vampires and Judaism

For those looking for a Jewish connection to the Twilight series and the Vampire craze, take a look at this Parsha Packet: this Parsha Packet, which asks the question, was Esau the first Jewish vampire?

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Sam Schulman on Vayera (and Get Smart!)

Good Shabbos.

In my portion of Vayera, we read about the destruction of the city of Sodom. In Vayera, Abraham tries unsuccessfully to negotiate with G-d to save Sodom. He does this by asking G-d to save the city if he can find 50 righteous people, which he can’t. Then they look for 45, 30, 20, 10. No luck. There is even an episode of one of my favorite shows, Get Smart, which reminded me of the story of Abraham negotiating with G-d to save Sodom. In this episode, Agent Smart tries to save himself by saying to a Chaos agent, “Would you believe that we are surrounded by seven Coast Guard ships?” After the Chaos agent says he doesn’t believe him, Agent Smart says, “Would you believe six Coast Guard ships?” Then, after the Chaos agent says, “I don’t think so” Agent Smart says, “Would you believe two cops in a rowboat?”

Getting back to the Torah, Abraham’s nephew, Lot, and his family were stuck in the city and had to flee in order to save themselves during the destruction. The Torah then tells us what happened next, "Lot's wife looked back, and she thereupon turned into a pillar of salt."

Some commentators note that this teaches us that when people are suffering like those in Sodom, you shouldn’t stare – it would be like pouring salt on a wound and rubbing it in. Now people get that sensation by swimming in the Dead Sea, which is exactly where this incident happened. There’s even a pillar in that area called “Lot’s Wife.”

For me, her sin was not that she was rubbing it in, but just simply that she was looking back, rather than going forward. She also disobeyed a direct order from God – that’s never a good thing. But I think the deeper message the Torah is trying to teach us here is that we shouldn’t dwell on the past but rather on the future. You can remember it, but you shouldn’t live in it.

Some people consider me to be a real forward-looking person. I do tend to look ahead as far as my classes are concerned. Sometimes I look WAY ahead. For example, I recently began reading some of Shakespeare’s plays. I recently read Macbeth, Hamlet and The Comedy of Errors, which are books I probably would read in high school. I even have a list of books I intend to read over the next two years. I guess you could say that I like to think ahead.

And then there’s technology. I love it! I keep up with current NASA missions. Did you know that the final launch of space shuttle Discovery is set for next week, on November 1? Did you know that they already have flying cars? I’d like to drive one someday! I’m a real fan of the future. I can’t wait to get there.

On the other hand, I also understand the importance of looking backwards at times and the importance of remembering the lessons of history. History is one of my favorite subjects in school. George Santayana, a famous philosopher, wrote “Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.” Jews have learned that lesson all too often in our history.

So as I become a bar mitzvah, I understand the true lesson of Lot’s wife: When you are constantly looking backwards, you can never have a future.

For my mitzvah project, I am going to be donating new and unused toys to
David’s Treasure Tree at Stamford Hospital. The toys will help kids of all ages, giving comfort to those who might be unsure what the future will bring. A toy from David’s Treasure Tree helped me feel better when I was in the hospital as a little kid.

More on Dershowitz - Ben Ami

Last Friday's discussion about the "conversation" drew about 50 people. We stayed and talked for nearly two hours after services; it was the type of civil discussion that I only wish had been more present at the original event.

At one point, things got slightly heated, over the question of tactics used by Israel during the War in Gaza. But the two most passionate protagonists listened to each other and, at the end of the evening, they hugged. When I heard about the hug later on, I was tremendously moved.

But the fallout continues. See this week's Jewish Week - an oped column that somewhat ironically, is situated next to mine (on a completely different topic). It's not pleasant reading, and rather unfair, but important nonetheless: Exclude Me At Your Own Peril.

You'll notice in the comments following the original essay some that were contributed by the person who participated in our discussion last Friday after writing a scathing crtique of the original event in the Advocate.

The Crematorium And The Crouton

The Crematorium And The Crouton

Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Joshua Hammerman
Special To The Jewish Week

I used to be bothered by change, back when I thought religion’s purpose was to act as a bulwark against it. I was wrong. Judaism actually has a bias towards change, recognizing that both the world and our bodies are transforming dramatically by the second. Each person replenishes up to 70 billion cells daily; we’re not so much human beings as human becomings. At the Passover seder, the agent of stability (matzah) confronts the force of fermentation (wine), and long after the final afikoman crumb is consumed, the wine remains on the table. We still have two cups to go, plus another round for Elijah. Change wins.

Darwin was right. Survival requires constant adaptation. I learned the hard way how we must continually grow with the flow, and how each breath propels us forward.

Last April, just a couple of hours after my first visit to Auschwitz, I nearly died of suffocation. Earlier that afternoon, I stood in the gas chamber, struggling to imagine how I would have responded if crammed alongside hundreds gasping, denied of air. My eyes were transfixed by the victims’ scratch marks that can still be seen on the walls.

Still shaken from that close encounter with genocidal asphyxiation two hours later, I was having dinner in Krakow when a soup crouton no bigger than a pea — about the size of a pellet of Zyklon B — somehow got lodged in my trachea.




For what seemed like an eternity, I couldn’t breathe.

The world was filled with clogged air passages that week. My group’s flight from New York to Krakow had been delayed because of thick fog over Poland — the same fog that took the life of Poland’s president the next day. The following week we left Warsaw for Israel just as the airways of Europe were being choked by the Icelandic ash cloud.

In the midst of a large hall filled with hundreds of March of the Living teens and chaperones, the adults in our group sat at a long table for an impromptu staff meeting, a fortunate thing since our staff included two physicians. I sprinkled a couple of spoonfuls of soup nuts (the Israeli kind that I’ve always loved) on my vegetable soup. A few gulps in, I felt something not quite right in the back of my throat. When a swig of water didn’t clear up the problem, I began to get concerned. A few seconds later, I could feel the crouton slide an inch or two and my air passage was blocked.

I stood and began shaking my head. Someone near me asked me to try to breathe, but all I could do was let out a seal-like bark, loud enough to startle everyone in room. One of the doctors came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my diaphragm and pumped hard. I felt some air squeeze out, but the Heimlich didn’t work.

The doctor said that some air was getting in, but I didn’t believe it. Frankly, I’m not sure what I believed at that moment. I’d be lying if I said I thought about the irony of choking here, in Zyklon’s backyard. I didn’t see how people were reacting around me. All I knew was that my mouth was wide open, my face a contorted “Scream” mask, but no air was getting in.

My time was running out.

I mentally clutched every molecule of oxygen still in me and began to feel the compulsion to breathe again.

Another deathly croak.

“Some air is getting through!” I heard the doctor, but began to feel dizzy and a full panic set in. Not here. Not now. Don’t black out!

The doctor behind me attempted one more Heimlich thrust. Hard.

I felt a whoosh. Something moved inside. It was the soup nut.

I sucked in my most significant breath since birth, the last time a doctor had slapped some air into me. I breathed in Neshama, the sacred breath of Life, and each act of inhaling became a prayer, a testimonial to the priceless, fragile gift of being alive.

And then we all continued with our dinner.

Analogies are dangerous and I would never claim to have nearly become victim 6 million and one. I was no Janusz Korczak, the Polish president, or Anne Frank; just an unlucky swallower, one fortunate enough to have doctors around who were trying to save me rather than kill me. But I will now be able to convey the martyr’s story with a unique empathy. The overwhelming drive to survive and the terror of asphyxiation are things that I can now begin to understand.

The horror of being cruelly stripped of all humanity: that is something I’ll never comprehend.

Ten days later, our plane home from Israel took a circuitous, southern route to avoid ingesting that volcanic cloud of Icelandic ash. Somewhere over Provence, I set my iPod to shuffle and up popped John Denver’s “Sunshine on My Shoulders.”

Corniest song ever written.

But maybe it was the lilting music, the lyrics or recalling Denver’s own untimely demise; it all suddenly hit me: the crematorium and the crouton, the overwhelming beauty and fragility of life, the enormity of what had nearly happened; it took my breath away.

Did that incident change me? Well, I’ve stopped eating those croutons. I smile more. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I get angry less. I feel revitalized. Rebooted. And I thank God every day for the chance to keep on changing.

I’ve taken about three and a quarter million breaths since that April evening. My heart has thumped about 700,000 times and 9.6 trillion cells have been replenished in my body. Now, for the rest of my days, I’ll be doing literally what the Jewish people have been doing for the past 65 years — measuring my life by the number of breaths taken since Auschwitz.

And I pledge, more than ever before, never to stop growing until the moment I breathe my last.

CAMERA vs. the New York Times and "60 Minutes"

From CAMERA:

New York Times Plays Blame Game on Negotiations Impasse
Direct peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority have been frozen, and replaced with debate over which side is to blame for the impasse. The Palestinians insist Israel's settlement policy is the reason for the derailment of talks. Israel responds that, unlike the Palestinians, it wants direct talks to resume immediately, and that the issue of settlements, like other areas of dispute, can only be solved by way of peace talks. Meanwhile, the New York Times, which is expected to report this news in an impartial manner, has instead become a participant in the blame game.

The problem isn't so much that the Times isn't impartial, which CAMERA demonstrates convincingly (also with regard to the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and most significantly, CBS' "60 Minutes'" recent report on Jerusalem), the point is that many Jews (and of course others) buy this and do not read CAMERA's rebuttals. The ratings for that "60 Minutes" program were among the highest for the week. So simply to say it's biased and incorrect isn't enough. We also need to address those aspects of the report that have validity - if we are to maintain our own credibility as advocates for Israel.

Teen Bullying, Gay Bashing and Suicide Prevention: "The Silent Scream"

In light of recent suicides by teenagers due to bullying, cyberstalking and gay-bashing, some startling information has come out as to the extent of these abhorrent activities.

A couple of weeks ago, I discussed bullying at services in light of the recent suicides, and told the bar mitzvah class, "If you want to see your rabbi cry, all you have to do is be cruel. If you are cruel to a classmate, I guarantee you will see my cry." I've uploaded the parsha packet that I distributed - it has lots of valuable material, including a test that kids can take.

I've also uploaded one of my all-time favorite (and requested) sermons, called "The Silent Scream," which I gave here way back in 1988. It deals with teen suicide.

See Study: Half of high school students admit to bullying‎ and Is Bullying Getting Worse? Four Preventative Actions for Parents & Schools. Also see this article. At the Federal Bullying Prevention Summit in August, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan remarked:

"One out of nine secondary school students, or 2.8 million students, said they have been pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on during the last school year. Another one-and-a-half million students said they were threatened with harm, and one million students reported they had their property destroyed during the school year."

Here are 5 Essential Bullying Statistics Every Parent Should Know and some more statistics on bullying.



Some more follow up information that I've received since my prior posting on this subject:


FROM JESNA (Jewish Educational Resources):


In recent months, there has been much media attention to bullying and harassment; in the classroom, the schoolyard, and online. Many of the stories reported recently have ended in suicide, particularly among LGBT youth, with the sobering statistic that 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school last year. The response to these tragedies continues to unfold; and the Jewish community has made its own strides toward addressing bullying in our synagogues and classrooms. JESNA has, therefore, begun a new category in the Sosland Online Resource Center for the topic of bullying, drawing on resources both from the Jewish world and the larger educational landscape-- including our own benefactor, Dr. Blanche Sosland, whose new book Banishing Bullying Behavior: Transforming the Culture of Pain, Rage and Revenge (co-authored with Dr. SuEllen Fried) is reviewed here. This issue of Sosland OpenSource will be devoted exclusively to this new topic. View the entire listing of items in this topic here.



From the ADL: See Bullying changes with the times

From Keshet: Please see the pledge– http://jewishcommunitypledge.org/ . The goal is to send a message to everyone in our communities that we will not stand by in the face of suffering and injustice. Our goal is to gather 18,000 pledges by the end of the calendar year. All Jewish community members, youth and adults are being asked to sign, so please forward widely.

You can also find more information about Keshet, at http://keshetonline.org/. Keshet is a grassroots organization dedicated to creating a fully inclusive Jewish community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) Jews in Greater Boston and across the country.

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From "Keeping Kids Healthy," a show produced by TBE members Susan and Richard Sabreen: a program on girls bullying: www.keepingkidshealthy.org/topics/girl-bullying/

Hammerman on Ethics: Robbing Peter to Pay Paul - at a Coffee Shop

See my latest ethics quandary at the Jewish Week website: Robbing Peter to Pay Paul - At a Coffee Shop. And save the date of Dec. 7 for my "Ask the Ethicists" panel with NY Times Ethicist Randy Cohen. The topic will be "Relationships: What Should I Do?" Send in questions about your work, love and social relationships to Miriam@jewishweek.org. The most interesting entries will be presented to the experts (anonymously) for discussion at the event, which will take place at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan. Here's todays:

Q - Last spring I lent $200 to a woman who works at a midtown coffee shop near my office. I've gone in there every day for years and have gotten friendly with her - in fact, I know her whole life story and we are on a first name basis. When I lent her the money to pay for an emergency medical procedure, she promised to pay me back, although I had my doubts that she would be able to.

I went away over the summer and when I came back to the coffee shop I decided not to mention the loan and see what would happen. But when I went to pay for my coffee she smiled and waved me by and said, "It's on the house." This has now happened for a couple of weeks and I suspect she is giving me the freebies to pay off the loan. The problem is, she doesn't own the shop. What do I do?

A - Many eating establishments allow employees to grab a cup of coffee for themselves from time to time.

Even a behemoth like McDonalds allows a free drink and half-price meals to those behind the counter. If the coffee comes from her perk rather than her boss's pocket, everyone's a winner. She is reimbursing you, one cup at a time. If she is repaying you by stealing from her boss, however, not only is that a crime, but you are an accessory, and if it's discovered, she could lose her job. It's classic case of robbing Peter to pay Paul. (click here for the rest of the response)

Rabbis for the Women of the Wall

I took the liberty to sign on to this worthy effort, when it went public yesterday. Here is the press release.

RABBIS TAKE A STAND TO SUPPORT WOMEN'S RELIGIOUS RIGHTS IN ISRAEL


The attached statement signed by twenty-eight prominent rabbis has been sent to Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, Speaker of the Israeli Knesset Rubi Rivlin, opposition leader and Head of the Israeli Kadima Party Tzipi Livni, Chairman of the Executive of the Jewish Agency Natan Sharansky, and Rabbi of the Western Wall and Holy Sites Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz Shlita.

With the issuing of this statement, we, Orthodox, Conservative (Masorti), Reform (Progressive), Reconstructionist and Renewal Rabbis-whose brief bios are attached-have launched a new social justice movement called Rabbis for Women of the Wall, a trans-denominational campaign to support the rights of women to lead worship, wear a prayer shawl, carry a Torah scroll and read from a Torah scroll at the Western Wall in Jerusalem, a holy site that carries great symbolic significance for Jews everywhere.

All rabbis everywhere are invited to become Rabbis for Women of the Wall by signing the statement for delivery to Israeli officials. Jewish congregations, federations, JCRC's, JCC's and other institutions are invited to become Organizations for Women of the Wall by endorsing the same statement to Israeli officials. Individuals-including both women and men-are also invited to sign a differently worded statement to the same Israeli officials. To sign on, go to TAKE A STAND on the Women of the Wall website http://womenofthewall.org.il/.

"The launch of Rabbis for Women of the Wall is a defining moment that far surpasses Jewish denominational distinctions," says Rabbis for WOW Co-Chair Rabbi Menachem Creditor. "The status of the Jewish People in Israel, and therefore the world, is at stake, and we, the rabbinic community of North America, have an important voice."

"Yes, there are unique ideological commitments that lead to spirited encounter when we come together," says Co-Chair Rabbi Pamela Frydman. "But the blessing is in coming together. With the increasing marginalization of non-Charedi (non-ultra-Orthodox) Judaism in Israel, every facet of our people, including Charedim, is in danger. When we segregate our schools, fund intolerance, and arrest women for holding a Torah or reading from it, we are in need of healing."

"We are the rabbis of North American Jewry, and we are here to lead and support every part of the Jewish People." Continues Rabbi Creditor. "When a part is attacked, we all feel the pain. This is a painful moment, and it is our time to speak."

Vayera's Top Ten Songs

The Top Ten Songs from the Portion of Vayera

1) "Fire and Rain" (see under: Sodom and Gomorrah)
2) "You're Having My Baby"
3) "Sara Smile"
4) "When I'm 64 (...plus 35)"
5) "Angels from Heaven"
6) "Sho-far Away"
7) " Ewe Are So Beautiful"
8) "Light of the World" (..."You are the SALT of the earth")
9) "Laughing Out Loud"
10) "Dance with my Father"