TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Gabriel Groz on Vayetze

A Few Words from Gabe:
The Way Up is the Way Down

Shabbat shalom.

Thank you all for joining my family and me as we celebrate my becoming a Bar Mitzvah. I am honored that you are spending Shabbat with us, and feel so grateful to have so many with whom to share my joy. This Shabbat has a special significance for me, but it also has a special significance for this congregation, as it coincides with the first event marking Temple Beth El's 90th anniversary.

In fact, the name of this synagogue comes straight out of Vayetze, my Torah portion,
which tells the story of Jacob on the run from a home life that is, at best, difficult. Jacob, away from home for the first time, goes to sleep in a place (Makom in Hebrew) somewhere along his journey. God comes to him in a dream, showing him a ladder with its top reaching heaven and its bottom touching earth. Angels are ascending and descending the ladder. Jacob wakes up and says, “God is in this place, and I, I did not know.” He realizes that all ground is holy, even in the desolate location in which he finds himself.

Indeed, in Hebrew, one of the names of God is HaMakom, which simply means “the place.” As God is everywhere, wherever we find ourselves must be “The Place”. Recognizing the Overwhelming Divine Presence, Jacob takes the Stone that he slept on and anoints it with oil, consecrating the Place, which he names Beth El, which in English means “the House of God”.

This Torah portion is so rich with topics for discussion that it's hard to know where to start. The commentaries on Jacob's Ladder alone fill many bookshelves. The image of Jacob's Ladder is striking; angels continuously ascend and descend the ladder, making a circuit. The imagery of the circle recurs in Judaism, for example, with the seder plates we use on Passover and Tubishvat. It is also inherent in the way we practice Judaism: when we finish reading the Torah, we begin all over again.

When I started to think about this imagery, I asked myself why are the angels on Jacob's ladder making the loop? In our culture, we usually associate ascent with important thoughts, with enlightenment, and with progress, while we associate descent with the past, with failure, and with corruption of the mind. I think this is a limited way of looking at things. We know that when you are climbing a mountain, descent from the zenith is just as important as getting up to the top. We also know that when you are scuba diving, you need to come back up to the surface. In both cases, you see the wonders of the world, but you have to make a return trip. Ever upward is just as unhealthy as ever downward.

In Mandarin Chinese, which I am studying and really love, “down” and “up” can have very different meanings from their English counterparts. A common meaning of the word “down” (xia4) is “next.” Because the Chinese language talks about the future optimistically, “down” has a positive connotation. For example, “next year” (ming2nian2) literally translates to “bright year”. The word for “up” (shang4) means “previous”. And one synonym for shang4 is qu1, which is the verb “to go”. The Chinese language thinks of things that have already happened as having gone. For example, the word for “last year” (qu1nian2) literally translates to “the year that went”. If you follow this line of thinking, then “up” means “went” and “down” means “next”. It's kind of like what a great Jewish sage said, “Hello, I must be going.” By the way, that sage was Groucho Marx.

In a way, “Hello, I must be going” is a theme of Vayetze, in that Jacob doesn't expect to remain in Haran for very long; he plans to take refuge there for only a short time, while Esau's temper cools. But Jacob's family dynamics are complicated. His mother's favoring of him sours his relationship with all of his immediate family members, especially his brother; his uncle Laban connives against him; his wife angers her father by stealing his idols; his cousins are jealous of his wealth; and his brother is amassing wealth and arms. His one choice is to flee, and eventually to reestablish himself.

This aspect of Vayetze resonated with me when I began to think about what kind of Mitzvah Project I wanted to work on. As I was looking at various ways that I could make a difference locally, I came upon the organization Kids in Crisis. Kids in Crisis provides 24-hour support to help children and their families resolve conflict. The stories of many of the children served by Kids in Crisis bear similarities to Jacob's story. Both the children at Kids in Crisis and Jacob come from troubled homes; both seek temporary refuge. Like Jacob, the children stay for a time, and with help and hard work gain a better footing in life, and then move on. And in a way, Kids in Crisis could also be thought of as a ladder leading to a better life.

Hammerman on Ethics: Is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ethical?"

Q - Is "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Ethical?

A. Since you're asking, I'll tell: "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is not ethical. Read why here.

Parsha Packet for Vayetze: The Greatest Soap Ever

Parashat Va-yetze

THE GREATEST (SOAP OPERA) STORY EVER TOLD
With more tears than a season of “General Hospital,”
More betrayal and deception than a decade of “Dallas,”
More kisses and embracing than “Sex in the City”
And more kids than “The Waltons”

“The O.C.”

As Jacob Returns to the Old Country
Featuring Jacob, Leah, Rachel and Laban:
And One Family’s Struggle for Power and Wholeness…

As we struggle to answer that eternal question….

HOW COULD JACOB NOT HAVE KNOWN IT WAS LEAH????

Featuring selections from
“Sefer Ha-Aggadah” (Midrash collection of H.N. Bialik)
“How to Read the Bible,” by James Kugel
and “Genesis: The Beginning of Desire,” by Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg

CLICK HERE FOR THE PARSHA PACKET

Shorashim Early Childhood Center

We are overjoyed that our new nursery school, led by Early Childhood Director Ronnie Brockman, is beginning recruitment for it's inaugural school year. See our brochure here - and share it with your friends!

TBE's 90th - From the Archives

This week we begin the celebration of TBE's 90th. And in honor of that auspicious occasion, I've uploaded the following gems from the archives.

TBE's first bulletin from 1922

For other early bulletins, click here, here and here - you may need to click "view" and "rotate" on your pdf browser to get them rightside up.

Finally, click here for the full program from the Prospect St temple dedication in 1928. You'll find there a complete roster of the temple's membership at that time as well as much other valuable material.

Join us as we celebrate our rich history.

Parsha Packets for Vayetze: Borat and Rock & Roll

I've uploaded some parsha packets for Vayetze from prior years:

One on the cultural influence of the controversial film "Borat"- click here

The other connects the symbolism of rocks - Jacob's pillow, the well with Rachel and Plymouth Rock - with Thanksgiving coming - click here to see why "Rock and Roll is here to Stay!"

Rosh Hodesh Kislev for the Women of the Wall

See these photos from this week's monthly Rosh Hodesh service at the Kotel by the Women of the Wall. See also these latest updates linked to the WOW website:

400 world rabbis ask police to protect Women of the Wall
Women of the Wall Demands Answers as to the Legality of the New Western Wall Regulation
Police Recommend Pressing Charges Against Anat Hoffman while Rabinowitz Tightens his Grip on the Western Wall
In Israel, A Fight to Make the Wall More Inclusive an article on TIME.com.

"We May Have Lost Tom Friedman" Bibi

From Monday's and Wednesday's Israel Analysis posting by Marc Schulman.

Once again, Netanyahu meets Biden and the meeting is undermined by the announcement of additional construction. Whatever one's views are on the future of building in the West Bank, or in East Jerusalem, (where I am sure the buildings that are being built will remain in Israeli Jerusalem), you cannot underscore the fact that the Iranian threat is THE existential threat to Israel. Why then would you do something so utterly stupid, like announcing new construction, while the Prime Minister is in the US trying to gain US support for Israel's position on Iran. To get further depressed, read the article by Bradley Burston: Bibi, Tom Friedman, and U. S. Jews divesting from Israel.

It seems the well timed announcement of continued building in the East Jerusalem is the result of an order given by the Minister of the Interior, Eli Yishai of Shas. Yishai ordered his ministry to approve as many building plans in East Jerusalem as possible. With both the Ministry of Housing and the Ministry of the Interior in the hands of Shas, we have an important part of Israel's position in the world being held hostage by a group of people who have no understanding of the world. These officials barely have the qualifications.


On his way to the airport to come to America, Bibi is said to have remarked: We may have lost Thomas Friedman, but I don't think we lost America." He's certainly trying his hardest to! See also this from the Jerusalem Post

Here is what Friedman said to the Israeli people this weekend on Israeli television, according to Bradley Bursten of Ha'aretz:


"You are losing the American people," Friedman warned. "Not to dislike, not to opposition - they are fed up, fed up with the Palestinians, believe me, fed up with the Mideast in general.
"But they're also fed up with Israel. When they see their president working hard to try to tee up an opportunity. All we're asking is just test - go all the way to test whether you have a real partner.

"And you say 'No, first pay me - let Pollard out of jail, have Abu Mazen sing Hatikva in perfect Yiddish, and then we'll think about testing.' It rubs a lot of people the wrong way."

Given a consensus among Israeli analysts, rightly or wrongly, that the man they called the world's most important commentator was speaking not only for himself, but directly for Barack Obama as well, you can bet that Benjamin Netanyahu was listening.
It says everything about the Netanyahu government's attitude toward America, however, that what the prime minister heard was the polar opposite of what Thomas Friedman said.

"Israel doesn't have to worry about me," Friedman had stressed early in the interview. "At the end of the day, Israel will have my support - it had me at hello."

But many Americans, Friedman continued "just are fed up with this conflict, and over time, that will become a national security problem for Israel, given the fact that the United States is your only friend."

Long term, American emotional divestment, Jewish and non, may well prove more of a threat to Israel's future than Ahmedinejad and his bomb factories, or Nasrallah and Mashaal and their rockets.

See also these commentaries more sympathetic to Netanyahu: Settlement Kerfuffle Follows the Script (Tablet) and Never Helpful (Commentary)

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Ross Levensohn on Vayetze

Shabbat Shalom!

About six years ago, my family brought home Shayna, our black mini labradoodle. I can remember that moment when she first got out of the car and came into the house. She was energetic, excited and clueless all at the same time, dancing on her tip toes as she sniffed around, whimpering slightly while gazing at everyone around her and at her strange surroundings. Yes, she also left the occasional surprise package on the carpet.

It’s hard to think of her feeling like such a stranger, because since then, she’s become very attached to the house. She no longer needs to mark her territory, because the whole house IS her territory. She’s a perfect example of how a house can become a home.

My portion, vayetze, is all about finding new homes. The word Vayetze means “and he went,” referring to Jacob, who was constantly on the go. The portion begins with Jacob escaping from his brother Esau, heading for a new home – actually an old one for his family, the place where his mother and grandparents had grown up. He learns quite a few things there before returning to Canaan. By the time he returns, he is married to four wives, has 13 kids and lots of sheep. He’s also ready to confront Esau one again.

The lesson of this portion is that you need to leave home in order to really grow up, but also, when you go to new places, like Shayna did, those places can become home as well.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived in the same house all my life. Stamford is definitely home to me. But I also have other homes that have played a major role in my life and have helped me to grow.

I love my camp, Camp Wah-nee, which I’ve been going to for five years. I’ve really grown up quite a bit there, learning how to keep track of my belongings, how to keep my things neat and organized, and making my own bed. Camp also has taught me how to live in close quarters with others and deal with conflict. It’s a place where I’ve done a lot of growing up, both emotionally and physically. Camp definitely has become a second home of sorts.

But I can remember the first day I was there. I didn’t know what was what and who was who. I was kind of like Shayna, without the surprise packages – and everyone around me also felt new and strange.

There are a number of other places that have also become like home to me: there’s Cape Cod, Sharon and Long Island, where my parents’ families are and where I’ve spent many holidays. Then there’s South Beach, our favorite vacation spot, where we’ve had great times with friends. We’ve been going for four years so now we know where the best places are to swim and to shop.

Being Jewish teaches us that every place you go is a little like home. Jews have
always known that home is portable. We can take it with us anywhere, because we’ve been almost everywhere. We’ve had to wander from place to place. But wherever we’ve gone, the Torah has come with us. Some might say that this has been the secret to Jewish survival. All we need is that Torah and our loved ones around us, and any place can become home.

For my mitzvah project, I’ve been collecting for an organization called PAWS, which finds shelter for homeless dog and cats and then helps place them into homes. It’s the perfect way for me to teach the lessons found in my portion and to help provide other families with the joy that Shayna has brought mine.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Brett Mayer on Toldot

With Hanukkah fast approaching, our thoughts turn to candles, presents and, of course, latkes. Unlike last year, I will be able to celebrate Hanukkah HERE, with all my friends and family – and with latkes. Last year I was at junior nationals in Ohio. Let’s just say, it’s not easy to find latkes in Ohio.

Guess what I’ve just done? I’ve stereotyped Ohio. In fact, there are lots of Jews in Ohio, especially in Cleveland where I was, and I read recently that there are many excellent places to get latkes near Cleveland.

But, believe it or not, to say that all Jews eat latkes is another stereotype. I Googled “Jews who don't like latkes” and got 23,700 results!

These stereotypes are harmless, of course, and there are much more dangerous ones, including some that are harmful to Jews. There are some who still believe that Jews have horns. Some of them live in Ohio.

But some may live in Connecticut too. Any time you make any general statement about an entire group, you are walking on, shall we say, thin ice….

Parents are often guilty of stereotyping their children. We see it in our portion. In fact, stereotyping children was practically invented in our portion.

We have the twins, Jacob and Esau – or, I should say, in birth order, Esau and Jacob. They wrestle in their mother Rebecca’s womb and the struggle continues throughout their lives. Even the Torah stereotypes them, seeing them as opposites. Esau is described as a hunter, a but of a bully, an outdoorsy guy, and not too smart. Jacob, meanwhile, is a scholar who sticks to the tent. We would call him a geek or a nerd.

The Torah, like Rebecca, favors Jacob, but Jacob was a much more complex person, and so was Esau. Jacob is a sneak who deceives people. His name, Ya’akov, actually means “heel,” not only because he came out of Rebecca’s womb clinging to Esau’s heel, but because the word heel, in Hebrew and English, can also mean someone sneaky, who tricks others. But Jacob is also an outdoorsman, like Esau. In next week’s portion, he camps out, sleeping under the stars. He turns out to be strong enough to roll a heavy rock from a well, when he meets Rachel, and he turns out to be a great shepherd too.

Esau, on the other hand, isn’t just Mr. Tough Guy. He is the one who reaches out, in the end, to make peace with Jacob. And when he hears that Jacob has gotten the blessing meant for him, he cries. Esau has a sensitive side.

So if you read the Torah carefully, it is not saying that athletes by definition have to be insensitive apes and that and that people who are good students can’t be athletes.

I think it is possible to be both a good student and an athlete. I know that I have tried to be both.

Maybe the Torah actually is telling us that we shouldn’t stereotype, and it uses Jacob and Esau to tell that story. When the twins wrestle in the womb, maybe it’s not about their being rivals, but about their acting as one whole person. Neither of them really becomes whole again until the meet up many years later, after another wrestling match. Their forgiving embrace is a sign that they at last have become whole again.

To be a whole person means to be full of contradictions. I can be intensely competitive on the ice, while off the ice, I can be just a calm, casual, friendly, good old nice guy. But either way, I’m still me.

Fortunately, this year’s Junior Nationals will be happening in a place that is much harder to stereotype than Ohio.

Salt Lake City.

Once you get beyond all the differences, we’re pretty much the same. For my Mitzvah project, I ran in a five K race, raising money for cancer research. I also collected bottles and cans to donate for cancer research.

Parsha Packet for Toldot: Jewish Continuity, Continued

See our parsha packet for Toldot, 2006, "The Jewish Continuity Debate...Continued," which featured new and surprising data on the impact of intermarriage on the next generation, by clicking here

Parsha Packet: "The Great Toldot Taste Test"

See our parsha packet on Jewish food, "The Great Toldot Taste Test," by clicking here. It features a Jewish food quiz and a chance to choose your Jewish food group.

The Most Dramatic Bar Mitzvah Invitiation Ever!

Couldn't resist sending out this one. Thanks to Sheila Romanowitz for sharing. And she and Harry will in fact be honored here at TBE next weekend by the ADL. Richly deserved!

Midnight on the Oasis...at TBE!

Last week's Kirtan Shabbat was spectacular (with around 150 in attendance) - thanks to the efforts of Cantor Mordcai, Jackie Tepper and the other musicians. But Aviva Maller set up our lobby in an exotic style that was a cross between an Ashram, a Bedouin tent and my Bubbe's living room. See these photos, taken by Aviva before Shabbat:

How Did Jews Vote?

See this article in the Forward for a summary of a national poll of Jewish voters commissioned by J-Street which contains some interesting revelations. One not-so-surprising one is that Jews continue to vote Democratic - 2/3 did anyway. Those numbers are down from prior votes, reflecting the rightward tilt of the entire electorate, but still they are significantly to the left of most groups.

But the biggest and perhaps most surprising - even disturbing - revelation is that Israel was virtually a non factor in how Jews voted, and Iran even less so!

See this Jewish Week analysis of various polls of how Jews voted in the contentious Pennsylvania senate race. J-Street's polling, (which on the surface seems self serving, but the Jewish Week reporter found no reason to doubt its veracity) indicated that not only was Israel not a major factor in the Jews' overwhelming support of the liberal Sestak, but the right wing attacks on Sestack for being "bad for Israel," pointing to his J-Street endorsement, were not effective. I've yet to see whether the same held true for Jim Himes, who came under similar attack in our Congressional race - an attack that I believe to have been unfair.

You can read J-Street's polling results for yourselves here. Among their findings:

• Large majorities of Jews (83 percent) want America to play “an active role in
  helping the parties to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict."
• Jews think the U.S. should be an impartial broker in order to achieve peace.
• Arguments for a two-state solution are supported by 79 to 82 percent of American
  Jews. This language cuts across partisan and denominational divides
• Most Jews seek some form of settlement freeze in the West Bank.

But again, for me, the most shocking result was that for the majority of American Jews, Israel hardly matters - or at least it is dwarfed in comparison to other issues. Go to the power point presentation and scroll down to page 27, and you'll see what I mean. When asked what their TWO top issues were in determining their vote, American Jews overwhelmingly chose the economy and health care, as did most Americans, but then you have to go down seven more issues before Israel appears at all - and Israel was chosen by only 7 percent! Then go down to the very bottom of the list and you'll find Iran - at ZERO percent!

What obsesses Jews on the pages of Jewish periodicals and websites is not evidently filtering down to the "masses." The concern for Israel is not there, even at a time of existential peril. The challenge for us is how to engage the vast majority of American Jews on the question of Israel without resorting to well worn scare tactics. Once again, we see proof that "the establishment" is out of touch.

If this all seems self serving for the J-Streeters, well, it is. But these numbers are so off the charts that it is hard imagine that they are fabricated. In fact, they only confirm what other surveys have been showing, including the important new study released by the Avi Chai foundation, Generation of Change: How Leaders in their 20s and 30s are Reshaping American Jewish Life. This important study brought together the best and brightest demographers, including some with conservative agendas, and it shows clearly that the tilt among American Jews in their 20s, 30s and even older, is away from the "establishment." And this survey was of leaders, those who are most active.

It divides the Jewish world into leaders who are "establishment" and "non establishment," and 2/3 to 3/4 of the leaders in the younger age groups are either "mixed" or "non establishment." Of this group - leaders, mind you - only 23 percent are concerned about threats to Israel's security. What are they concerned about? Global issues and spiritual growth, among other things.

JTS Professor Jack Wertheimer, who wrote the final report, stated (as quoted by JTA) that because they share highly critical views toward key organizations and synagogues, and many work outside traditional communal institutions, these future leaders are leading the Jewish world down a new path. “We have a story of quite dramatic change,” he said.

See initial reactions to the report from Jewschool, JTA, The Jewish Week (on intermarriage) and the Jewish Exponent.

So what have we learned from the elections about American Jews? The Jewry is still out, so to speak, but it appears that the more things change, the more things stay the same AND change. Liberalism is still American Jewry's mantra, despite all the attacks and rightward zeitgeist, but Israel no longer appears to be our rallying cry. What Wertheimer calls the "protective" thread of engagement (Israel, Holocaust, anti-Semitism) has been superseded among the young by what he dubs the progressive (global activism, environmentalism) and expressive (spirituality and cultural expression).

And this year at the polls, they all were trumped by the economy and health care. Except in Bridgeport, where I think they are still voting....