Clergy Statement on Jerusalem Killings

We condemn in the strongest possible terms the horrific slayings in a Jerusalem synagogue on Tuesday, and grieve with the families of those killed. We are also heart-broken at every reminder that humans are capable of such atrocities. Is it worse that someone is killed at prayer than while doing something else? There is no "worse" or "better" when it comes to murder, but to attack people in a house of prayer does strike us as particularly depraved. There seems to be a sort of "atrocity inflation" at work - as one group perpetrates acts of unimaginable barbarism, others seem to feel freer to enact hateful cruelties. There is no good outcome to this kind of spiral of vengeance and violence. As Gandhi is often quoted, "An eye for an eye will leave everyone blind."

How then do we respond as people of faith? By wringing our hands and issuing statements that say what goes without saying? The one thing the world has tried too little is to work as hard at spreading love and dignity as the agents of terror work at their evil. Binding up wounds and building up communities can also become contagious, especially where a populace has tired of war and terror.

We cannot make world leaders or terrorists make better choices. But we can support those who work to foster peace and integrity. We can uphold the values of home and security for all people of the world. We can affirm generosity whenever we find it, and refuse to accept intolerance and demonization of our enemies. We can lead with respect and dignity for all, even those who seem least deserving. Like great men and women of history, we can model forgiveness. The alternative has never led to peace.

We can say, despite so much evidence to the contrary, that peacefulness is possible, indeed is desired by God - and only achievable through us. This is true in the Middle East. It is true in Ferguson, MO, and in Stamford, CT. We stand united, hearts broken but spirits strong and willing to wage peace.

On behalf of Dr. Kareem Adeeb, President of the IFC Board, Rabbis Daniel Cohen and Joshua Hammerman, and the Rev. Mark Lingle,  

Kate Heichler
Executive Director, Interfaith Council of SW CT

Celebrate Abayudaya (Ugandan Jewish) Culture Shabbat at "World Shabbat," @TBE November 21

On November 21, we'll be starting a new series of special Friday evening events.  We're calling them "World Shabbats," as we focus on the culture - and especially the music - of Jewish communities around the world.  Next week we're going about as far flung as you can get - the Jewish community of Uganda, the Abayudaya Jews. To get a sneak preview, read about them and see some slide shows, including this musical slide presentation.   Incidentally, Cantor Fishman has already introduced us to one of the Ugandan melodies, for Lecha Dodi.  Listen to it here (or click below) - and share the link with all your friends, so they can hear why we are so excited about the music she is bringing us.

Come to think of it, share that too! Like our Facebook page and spread the word about our services and programs.

Shabbat-O-Gram for November 14

Shabbat Shalom – and mazal tov to Charlotte Freund and her family, as Charlotte becomes Bat Mitzvah on Shabbat afternoon.  You can read the d’var Torah of last week’s bat mitzvah, Molly Herckis, here. 

I’m preparing for one of those “all ages” Shabbats that keep rabbis young (or age them very quickly!) – At 5:30 I’ll be participating in our monthly Tot Shabbat – if you know anyone aged 5 or under (or even a little older!) I hope you can join us.  At 7:30, Kabbalat Shabbat.  Join us on for the weekly service everyone is talking about.    And then, I get to go home and welcome about twenty TBE  7^th graders from our Religious School and day schools for the annual “Shabbaton at the Rabbi’s and (more importantly) Mara’s house,” or, as my dogs call it, “that evening when there is lots of noise and we have to stay (mostly) in our crates.”  Thanks to Mara, and to Lisa Gittelman Udi (who will also be sleeping chez Hammerman) for planning a great program for the 7^th graders.

On Shabbat morning, we’ll be hearing from our community Israeli emissary, Or Berger, who will speak on Israel’s Millennial Generation:  A Personal Perspective. 

“World Shabbat” Next Week

Next week, we’ll be starting a new series of special Friday evening events.  We’re calling them “World Shabbats,” as we focus on the culture – and especially the music – of Jewish communities around the world.  Next week we’re going about as far flung as you can get – the Jewish community of Uganda, the Abayudaya Jews. To get a sneak preview, read about them and see some slide shows, including this musical slide presentation.   Incidentally, Cantor Fishman has already introduced us to one of the Ugandan melodies, for Lecha Dodi.  Listen to it here – and share the link with all your friends, so they can hear why we are so excited about the music she is bringing us.

Come to think of it, share that too! Like our Facebook page and spread the word about our services and programs.

Upcoming Adult Ed

Also, a reminder that “Learning and Latte” returns on Tuesday, at 7:30 at Capriccio Cafe downtown – a real chance to “sit and sip” with Stamford’s amazingly diverse interfaith community.  Tell your friends, both Jewish and not – and make sure to order something (we want Capriccio to like us).  I recommend the cappuccino! 

And join us at our lunch and learn on Wed at noon.  We had nearly 20 people at our first session, discussing one of the most fascinating and useful works of rabbinic literature, Pirke Avot.

College Guide

A number of our families are embarking on college trips this fall.  Something to download before loading the car: Hillel’s College Guide.  I’ve found it to be an excellent and up to date resource on Jewish life on  campuses throughout the country.

A Very Special Mitzvah

This week’s Torah portion of Hayye Sarah features a number of acts of kindness, most notably by Rebecca, who goes above and beyond the call to welcome Abraham’s servant Eliezer and to make not only him, but even his camels, feel at home.  our Reyut committee acts in the same way, going above and beyond the call.

They have been doing wonderful mitzvah work for us for the past few years, much of it under the radar.   Recently, they have joined a community wide effort to distribute Shabbat gift bags to Jewish patients at Stamford Hospital, on a rotation with Agudath Shalom and Temple Sinai.  It has truly been a blessing, as you will read below.  You might want to consider getting involved in this fantastic committee, which also arranges for visitations at nursing homes, visits to shut ins, rides to services and other important tasks.  Here is their update on the project.

TBE Reyut Shabbat Bag Delivery at Stamford Hospital

By Caroline Temlock Teichman and Melanie Massell

TBE Reyut members are discovering and rediscovering that performing a mitzvah is as good for the soul of the volunteer as it is for the recipient.

Such is certainly the case for the Reyut Shabbat greeters at Stamford Hospital. During the month of October, 8 Reyut members took turns visiting Jewish community members on Friday (Erev Shabbat), who were patients at Stamford Hospital.  Two additional Reyut members participated in preparing the Shabbat bags, which are delivered to the patients, and are filled with challah rolls, grape juice, healing prayers, paper and pencil, sugar free candy, and a greeting card.

Reyut Chairperson Melanie Massell enthusiastically commented,

July was the inception of the Shabbat bag delivery on behalf of the Stamford Board of Rabbis, and TBE was given the honor being the first to take on this mitzvah project. When Caroline Temlock Teichman (Reyut Shabbat Bag Delivery Team Leadership Team) and I first approached the nursing stations on each unit, introducing ourselves and questioning the recipients’ dietary restrictions, the staff members seemed quite curious. Now, several months later, they not only recognize us, but also welcome us with open arms. They are just as happy to provide the information we request, as we are to be there for each patient. A couple of lucky staff members have even benefitted by enjoying some leftover challah rolls!

Caroline Temlock Teichman remarked, “ In this project my heart is re-energized by the heartfelt gratitude shown by the patients receiving the Shabbat greetings. One patient was so surprised and touched by our gesture that he protested he could not receive the bag since he had no money with him to pay for it. We reassured him that it was a Shabbat gift from the Jewish community, to wish him a Shabbat of peace. His eyes teared up and he was truly speechless in appreciation”.

Judy Schneiderman, Reyut Shabbat Bag Delivery Leadership Team, delivered Shabbat bags twice in October, once with Rosalea Fisher and then with Gail G. Trell. She remarked that, “all of the patients truly appreciated the thoughtfulness and thanked us profusely”.

“When I leave a patient, I say Shabbat Shalom”, said Rosalea Fisher. “Often the patients respond with the same Shabbat Shalom. Some patients are obviously very touched by our visit. Even the hospital unit coordinators to whom we speak first are happy to see us. One even told us that she might convert to Judaism!”

Gail G. Trell sang Shabbat Shalom to the patients while she signed the words. She explained that the setting sun moves into the palm and rubbing one’s hands means peace.  Gail found that some patients appreciated the reminder that it was Friday, after a week of seemingly endless routines. One patient, who was limited in her food intake and could not accept the bag, told the volunteers that just their visit  “made her day”. Judy commented, “We enjoyed making the deliveries at least as much as the patients enjoyed receiving them”.

Suzanne Horn described her experience in delivering Shabbat bags as “rewarding” and “uplifting”. She added, “The patients were very appreciative and friendly and welcomed our visit as well as the goodies. It is a wonderful way to begin Shabbat and I look forward to doing so again”.

Olga Goldstein felt her two experiences as a Shabbat greeter a mixture of both pain and pleasure.  “Facing the unknown person lying on the hospital bed, not knowing what they are going though” was painful. Yet, when we see “their faces looking at us and the colorful bag we are holding, as we tell them we represent the Stamford Board of Rabbis and are bringing the Shabbat bag to wish them Shabbat Shalom, they smile back and …nod their heads in appreciation”.  Olga believes, ”This is not just a mitzvah. This is religion of the heart”.

Notably, first time Reyut Shabbat greeter Barbara Rosenberg joined the group as a result of her own experience as a patient in Stamford Hospital. “Receiving a Shabbat Bag made me feel part of the community. It was most appreciated. That’s what made me want to volunteer (with Reyut)”.

Melanie added,

Early in our bag distribution, actually the first run, we delivered a bag to a long time member of the Temple. He was quite appreciative. Several weeks later I received a call at home from this person. He spotted my picture in the TBE Bulletin and hunted me down to personally express how grateful he was to receive the bag from a member of his congregation, and how happy he is that TBE is involved. That is what it is all about!”

Melanie and Caroline profusely thank the Reyut members who have participated in the project so far this year, and through their spirit and diligence have made it so successful:  Susan Darer, Rosalea Fisher, Olga Goldstein, Susan Greenwald, Suzanne Horn, Jodi Maxner, Barbara Rosenberg, Judy Schneiderman, and Gail G. Trell. We are delighted that Susan Friedman and Harriet Weinstein, and even more Reyut members are stepping forward to qualify as Stamford Hospital volunteers and to participate in the project. Of course we also thank Steve Lander for his ever-present help and support.

If you would like to know more about Reyut, and/or participate in the Reyut Shabbat Bag Delivery, please contact Melanie Massell at 203-324-7190 (h) or 203-274-1708 (c). Our next delivery will be in January.

Thank you to Reyut and Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Charlotte Freund on Toldot

Shabbat Shalom!

As many of you know, I have a keen interest in art.   You can see an example of my work on the back of my Bat Mitzvah booklet.  Being an artist has helped me to look at the world around me with wide open eyes. For example, when I created something called the “Tree of Life” in art class, it took me several sessions of painting while looking at trees in order to get it right. Doing art forces you to be more observant and look beyond the surface.

In my portion of Toldot, Isaac is depicted as being blind.  Commentators explain that the blindness was not purely physical.   Some say he was affected by the traumas of his childhood, when he was nearly sacrificed by his father Abraham.  Others claim that he was blind to his own children’s flaws, especially those of his older son Esau. 

It’s understandable that Isaac acted this way. 

For example, one modern commentator said, a grandmother she knew would swear that if her grandkids were ax murderers, they would be the BEST ax murderers out there because they could do no wrong.  The commentator then poses the question: “Do we do our children a favor when we raise them with what looks like unconditional love, but is blind denial, pretending to be love, Jacob and Esau’s clothes?”

I think the answer is no.  We need to see clearly the flaws in ourselves and others, even those we love.  If Isaac had done that, perhaps Esau wouldn’t have strayed so far from his family.  The brothers didn’t see each other for 20 years and the family was torn apart. And Jacob wasn’t so perfect either.  If his parents had been less tolerant of Jacob’s scheming, maybe Jacob wouldn’t have had to run away from home and get into all kinds of trouble.

People my age tend to close their eyes to things – we don’t listen to the advice we’re getting. Like when a teacher suggests that a paper be revised or that we come to them after class but we don’t take advantage of it. Also when we don’t listen to our parents like when they suggest not to stay up to late on a school night and then we can’t get up in the morning.

As we grow up, we tend to rely more and more on first impressions and don’t see the whole person.  In the Torah, Jacob and Esau are stereotyped by their parents: Jacob is seen as the scholar and Esau the athlete.  I think there’s a little of Jacob and a little of Esau in everyone.  Certainly, in me.   It’s too easy to stereotype people.  Everyone does it, saying things like, “He’s such a nerd” or “She’s so fake,” when in fact, everyone is much more complicated than we might think.

Also, it’s important not to be blind to the suffering of those around you.  My mitzvah project has helped me to understand that people in our community are going hungry, even though we may not see them every day.  I’ve volunteered at the food pantry at Person to Person and now I am working with young children at the Boys and Girls Club of Stamford helping them with their homework.  There’s a prayer in the morning blessings where we thank God for opening the eyes of the blind.  When I volunteered at these two places, it helped me to understand what this prayer really means.

Also, as part of my mitzvah project, and in remembering the great trip to Israel I took with my family through the temple three years ago, I’ll be donating a portion of my Bat Mitzvah money to The Israeli Guide Dog Center for the Blind. The Center’s mission is to improve the quality of life of people who are vision impaired by providing them with safe mobility, independence and self-confidence through the faithful assistance of guide dogs.  I only wish Isaac had been able to take advantage of this program.  It might have made a big difference in the lives of his sons.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Molly Herckis on Hayye Sarah

As I said at the beginning, my portion is named, “Lives of Sarah,” even though Sarah dies at the beginning. I’ve come to see how Sarah lived on through women like Rebecca, Isabel, and GG, and everyone who has come after. Now that I am a bat mitzvah, I’m proud to take my place in that long line of great Jewish women.

Aside from my great grandmothers and grandmothers, there’s one strong woman who has been a real role model for me – my mom. While working full time, she’s also worked day and night trying to make my bat mitzvah special, and she definitely succeeded. I’m so grateful to have such a great relationship with her.

Before I do anything else, I’d like to introduce you to two very special people who are here today. I’m so lucky to have at my bat mitzvah 2 of my great grandmothers. First my great grandma Isabel – could you stand up? I’m always amazed at how independent she is always there to celebrate every holiday with my family.

Besides the fact that she went above and beyond, Rebecca, like Sarah before her, showed kindness, even to strangers, including animals, along with the ability to make courageous, life changing, decisions. Both she and Sarah had to leave their birthplace and headed out into the unknown.

But, I know that the best way to pay it forward is to become the same kind of role model for younger girls. I have lots of younger cousins who I know are looking up to me today. In a couple of years, I’ll become a big sister at Camp Tevya to a few girls in younger bunks.

For example, the main story in this portion describes the search for a wife for Isaac. Abraham’s servant, Eliezer, goes to find this women, and comes back with Rebecca. He knows that she’s the one because she not only offers him water from the well, but she offers water for his camels, too. Rebecca was willing to go above and beyond what might have been expected from her. That’s a sign of true leadership.

Last but not least, my great grandma Carol – or GG as I call her. She lives in Atlanta and belongs to the Temple…that’s right, it’s just called, “the Temple,” and it’s one of the most famous synagogues in the country.

Led by these two, I come from a family of strong matriarchs and great female role models.

One way I can set an example is through my mitzvah project. I’m going to be volunteering at the Lower Fairfield County Food Bank with family and friends, where I will be helping stock shelves and deliver food. I also recently had a bake sale at school to raise money for the food bank.

Shabbat shalom!

Speaking of strong matriarchs and great female role models, that’s what my Torah portion is all about. In fact, this portion is the first one named for women. It’s called, “Haye Sarah,” or, “Sarah’s Lives.” It’s almost as if the Torah is teaching us that women are meant to play a strong role in all of our lives. Although Sarah dies at the beginning of the portion, she lives on in many different ways.

The Death of Trust - Jewish Week

The Death Of Trust

Tue, 11/04/2014

Joshua Hammerman

Special To The Jewish Week

In light of the Barry Freundel “Watergate,” scandal, I commend Erica Brown’s suggestion that rabbis should be held to the same standards that apply to those in other professions (“Mikveh Scandal Underscores Need To Regulate Rabbinate,” Oct. 31). Regular performance reviews can be healthy when done right, as they almost always have been for me. Other safeguards can be built in, like the independent audit my synagogue undergoes annually, enabling congregants to feel confidence in the integrity of their contributions to clergy discretionary funds.

What Rabbi Freundel has allegedly done sickens me. When I heard about it, I first thought it was a joke — and no doubt there will be a plethora of “Porky’s on the Potomac” Purim parodies based on it this year. We’ve seen the litany of recent rabbinic abuses, including the D.C. rabbi who starred in “To Catch a Predator,” the Boston area rabbi who allegedly sexually exploited a teenager and stole hundreds of thousands of congregation dollars to cover it up.  And the mother of them all, Fred Neulander, the Cherry Hill rabbi who was convicted of hiring a hit man to murder his wife.

But I take exception to Brown’s suggestion that a rabbi needs to be professionally uncomfortable in order to be responsible, or that someone with a life contract has lost the capacity to accept feedback and to grow. I say this as someone who has never had a life contract, but who has served the same congregation for a generation.

Am I truly going to give a better Yom Kippur sermon because it’s a contract year? Am I going to decide not to seduce a congregant because I have a performance review coming up? There is no straight line to be drawn between a rabbi’s length of service and his proclivity for perversity. Brown writes, “Be wary the board that claims its rabbi has been in place for ages and is, therefore, trustworthy.” The insinuation that a long-term rabbi, life contract or not, is somehow less trustworthy is supremely insulting, not only to that rabbi, but to the congregation that, in fact, is continually evaluating that rabbi every day and has been over the course of many years.

Anyone you have known intimately for ages is likely someone who has earned that trust again and again, with or without performance reviews, be it your mailman, your hairdresser or the school crossing guard. Relationships built up over long periods of time tend to be more stable for a reason: they have stood the test of time, which means they have withstood untold other tests, both large and small. True, even long term spouses can wake up one morning and discover that their lover has a secret dark side, but why use the exception to disprove the rule?

E.M. Forster wrote, “One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life.” Think for a moment how low our society has fallen where, according to Brown, the very fact that I am expressing this concern puts me in the “dost protest too much” category, therefore supremely suspect.  

The Jewish Watergate, like its namesake, has opened a floodgate of mistrust, and the trust deficit we face is potentially more dangerous than any other deficit currently coming out of Washington. People like Rabbi Freundel are part of the problem, to be sure, but so is a culture featuring 24-hour cable news arsonists and films, TV shows and literature romanticizing the art of betrayal, whether sexual, political or financial. Anyone seen “Gone Girl” or “The Affair” lately?  Echoing the X-Files’ paranormal paranoia, our national motto has become, “Trust No One.”

I know the immense trust that has been placed in me. Every lifecycle event that I perform is my Super Bowl. I know that for each family, that wedding, funeral or bat mitzvah is possibly the most important event in their lives. Every High Holiday sermon has the potential to change hundreds of lives, and maybe even save a few. Every hospital visit, every phone call, every nod and wink can be significant. There are no real objective standards that can fairly regulate or monitor such work.  

With rabbinic performance reviews, core partnership issues are often pushed aside, allowing petty gripes to become central. Given the horror stories I hear from colleagues, this appears to happen much more with rabbis than with your typical employee in the corporate world. Since it is virtually impossible to apply objective metrics to rabbinic performance, subconscious biases invariably creep into the process. Abusive power relationships can go both ways, and rabbis and their families often find themselves in the crosshairs of vindictive board members when contract time rolls around.

While I still advocate those reviews, the solution is not more regulation but less deification. It’s time to pull your rabbi down from the pedestal. The rabbinate will become a healthier profession when we smash the pedestals like Terach’s idols and rabbis are able to become full-fledged human beings once again.

People are endlessly curious about rabbis, and as society has become increasingly secular, this one particular profession has maintained its sense of mystery. Compounding the problem is that some of us begin to believe our press clippings and forget the reasons we got into the rabbinate in the first place. While it drives very few of us to a life of crime, it drives many more to lives of isolation and misery. And when we fail, we begin to believe that an admission of fallibility will compromise our ability to lead. We get caught up in a whirlwind of inflated expectation and denial. We need to become human beings once again.

For Erica Brown and all who have become so despondent over the failings of their spiritual mentors, all I can do is echo Shakespeare: “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” Don’t be reticent to place your trust in human beings of faith and integrity, however fallible — especially if you’ve known them for a long, long time.

Joshua Hammerman is spiritual leader of Temple Beth-El in Stamford, Conn.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Tyler Pomerance on Lech Lecha

Shabbat Shalom!

               

               As many of you know, I spend a lot of my spare time playing tennis – when I’m not practicing for my Bar Mitzvah, that is!   I’ve worked pretty hard at it over the years, and right now I feel really fortunate to be ranked at the top of New England in my age bracket. 

                So the rabbi asked me what is the key to being a good tennis player.

I said, the key is that when something doesn’t go according to plan, you have to put it behind you right away.  If you lose a point because of an unforced error, you can’t dwell on it, or you’ll lose the next point.

I remember one time when I lost the first set against a really good player, someone who was older than me – in a championship match last year.  So I said to myself as we began the second set, this is a fresh start.  We’re all even.  I managed to put the first set behind me.  I ended up winning the match by winning the next two sets. You should have seen my opponent’s face.  He’s probably still thinking about that match!!

My portion tells about the adventures of Abraham and Sarah – and boy did they have to put lots behind them! 

At one point, down in Egypt, Abraham nearly gives Sarah away to Pharaoh in order to save himself.  At another, Abraham has to settle an argument between his shepherds and those of his nephew Lot.  At another point, Abraham has to form an alliance of kings in order to fight a war to rescue Lot, who was taken hostage.  Then, there are conflicts between Sarah and Abraham’s other wife, Hagar.  Basically, things are messy for that family.  But each time something happens to them, they are able to move on.

The name of my portion, Lech Lecha, means to go forth.  But the second Hebrew word, Lecha, also means, “to yourself.”  So commentator suggests that Abraham is being told to “go forward, into himself.” It isn’t enough to travel – he also needs to learn about himself while on the journey.  Abraham learns a lot about himself from everything that happens.  And he is able to overcome a lot to get to his destination.

I know that’s true in other sports too, aside from tennis.  Even the best baseball players get an out, seven times out of ten.  You have to be able to put things behind you.  I always say, “Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit!!’  Remember that one!!

I’m inspired by the special needs kids I’ve worked with.  My mitzvah project is Friendship Circle and I’ve gotten the special training that I will need to begin working one on one with the kids soon.  As part of the training, we stuffed marshmallows in our mouths and had to try to talk.  This helped me to understand their frustrations.  In another exercise, we put socks on our hands and tried to unbutton a shirt.  I’m also learning how to understand when they can’t communicate easily, and to communicate back using hand motions and facial expressions. Thanks to many of you, I met my goal and raised over $1000 for the Friendship Circle and will soon start meeting with Cooper, my Special Friend, each week.

Whenever I feel frustrated about a setback, I think of some of what these kids overcome, and it helps me to put things into perspective.  And these are lessons that I am carrying into my whole life, not just my tennis game….or my basketball games…or my baseball games…or my golf game…or school of course.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commenatary: Ashley Shapiro on Vayera

Shabbat Shalom!

As most of you are aware, I love skiing.  I’ve been skiing since I started walking.  I know every inch of Mount Snow.   Not only do I love to ski, but I also love the fact that on our ski weekends I get to spend a lot of time with my family.

So it’s natural that when I was thinking of the lessons I learn from my Torah portion, my thoughts turned to skiing.

When you are going down the mountain, a lot of trails give you a choice.  About half way down, you can either turn off and take a shortcut to the bottom.  The short cut may not be much shorter, but it’s definitely easier.  Or, if you want to be a little braver, you can stay on the main trail.  I almost always stay on the main trail. 

Why do I make that choice to take the harder trail?   Two reasons: 1) when you get to the bottom you feel a sense of accomplishment.  And 2) because, when the trail is really challenging, my mom takes me to the candy store.  But of course, it’s the sense of accomplishment that matters the most.

My portion also teaches that life has no short cuts, especially when it comes to founding a new faith.  Abraham had to pass ten tests.  Some of them were as difficult as any test could ever be. 

For example, when Abraham heard that God was planning to destroy the people of Sodom, the easy thing for Abraham to do would have been just to cut the chase and ask that his nephew Lot’s family be saved.  He could have just not cared about the others.  But he takes the long and more difficult way, arguing that city be saved for the sake of 50 righteous people.  Then, when there weren’t 50, he asked for 40, then 30 and finally asked that the city be saved for the sake of 10.

I didn’t need ten tests like Abraham, but preparing for this bat mitzvah hasn’t always been the easiest.  But I’ve also learned that there are no shortcuts when preparing for my Bat Mitzvah – or for anything else.

I can recall my first show at Bi Cultural – Seussical.  It took me forever to pick up dance moves to a certain song.  It was frustrating, but when I got it, it felt great. 

I’m known for being a really fast reader.  But even when I read fast, I need to make sure I’m understanding what I’m reading.  I do that by telling my parents and brother about the books nonstop, even long after they’ve tuned me out.  J 

My mitzvah project definitively had no short cuts.   I emailed my friends and family inviting them to walk or donate for the FARE (Food Allergy Research and Education) Walk that was held in September.  When people started to join and donate, I made sure I sent a thank you email to each of them.  Fifty people walked and many others donated, and I raised $8,000. 

It’s really important to me, because I’ve had food allergies since I was 18 months old and it’s really hard for me to go places and eat at restaurants sometimes, because people often don’t know what’s in the food.  For me, when I go out, there’s been a short cut in ordering a meal. I usually do the ordering myself – and I have to ask the waiter if the food has any of my allergens in it.  Most of the time they don’t know.  We then have to find the manager or chef and ask them. This has helped me to become a more responsible and patient person.

I know that in life there are no short cuts, but that doesn’t mean I have to keep on talking now, even though I would love to!   So I’m going to wrap this up with some special thank you’s…

Ebola and Fear Itself, America-Israel "Fowl" Language, Challah-ween, Voting, a Jewish Duty Shabbat O Gram

Mazal tov to Tyler Pomerance and Ashley Shapiro and their families, as they become b’nai mitzvah this Shabbat morning and afternoon, respectively!  I’m looking forward to seeing them this evening too.  BTW, join us tonight and you may hear a popular Kabbalat Shabbat prayer chanted in a manner that you’ve never heard before! Plus, Challah-ween candy for the kids.

Speaking of which, our Shabbat programming is about to take a great leap forward.  You’ll be reading more about it in the upcoming bulletin, but to whet your appetite, click here to see our schedule of November and December events.  Note that next Friday night before services at 6:30 we’ll be hosting a wine and cheese for young couples and young professionals (and any combination thereof).  Just show up – and we’ll feed you!

To clean up some old business: See – this thank you note from Person to Person which I received following the collection of over 1000 bags of food by the Jewish community these past High Holidays (by far the largest percentage coming from TBE, as usual).  See also last week’s stirring b’nai mitzvah commentaries from Hannah Nekritz and Micayla Roth and, for those looking for mitzvah projects for upcoming b’nai mitzvah or who simply want to know how to do some good in the world, check out The Good People Fund Annual Report.  It will warm your heart to see some of the creative philanthropic and volunteer endeavors going on here, in Israel and beyond.

Plans are also taking shape for next summer’s TBE Israel Adventure – and an organizational meeting with the tour coordinator on Wed. November 12 at 8 PM. Click here for up to date itinerary and pricing information.  Also, let me know if you might be interested in an additional, shorter, solidarity and informational trip to Israel (not geared to families for first timers) this coming year.

Finally, we are co-sponsors for the closing event of this year’s Jewish Arts and Film Festival, this Sunday evening.  See details about what is said to be a very moving film here, called “Under the Same Sun.”

Challah-ween, Ebola and UNICEF

As I wrote last week, I’m of the “If you can’t beat ‘em, make it a Jewish experience” school regarding Halloween.  Normally that’s no problem. When it occurs on Friday night, thus colliding with Shabbat, it offers great challenges for some and opportunities for me.  Especially this year.

So tonight, join us for our Kabbalat Shabbat service at 7:30.  There will be blood…I mean candy.  And I’ll refer to some of the most ghoulish moments in Jewish history,  But I promise that I will not wear my “Sexy Rabbi” Halloween costume.

Here are some suggestions for those wishing to make Challa-ween a more Jewish experience:

How about making a number of little bags of say -- * a chocolate bar or nuts and raisins ("ruzhinkas und

mandlen," as the Yiddish song says);

* plus a small check made out ahead of time to UNICEF  or another tzedakah (American Jewish World Service?), endorsed "Payable to acct only",  plus an envelope addressed there (but with no stamp);

* plus a  little photocopied note with  a brief explanation of the work the organization does and an explanation that it's up to the kid to write in her/his own return address, put on a stamp, and send it.

The visiting kid then not only gets a sweet but also gets to understand at least a little bit of what tzedakah/ "charity" is; becomes responsible to send the check in; and gets the thank-you card from the tzedakah.

If your kids would enjoy the costumed walk around the neighborhood but because of Shabbat you don't want them receiving "treats," you could --

* figure out a time to walk either before or after family Shabbat celebration or our services;

* give the kids a pre-written IOU from you for x amount of pleasant special small food treats to be provided during the next week;

* and ask them to set aside tzedakah $$ from their own money.

The walk and costumes are then for sheer fun.  "Practice for Purim!"

UNICEF AND EBOLA

Click on the UNICEF site to see some of the important things UNICEF is doing this year to stop Ebola at its source.  See the Youtube video.  The Ebola outbreak in West Africa is the deadliest in history. More than 13,000 cases have been reported since March, and nearly 5,000 people have died. Children are Ebola's most vulnerable victims. At least 3,700 children have been orphaned, many of them shunned by their communities. UNICEF is at work across West Africa-airlifting supplies, training health workers and caring for children and families. Text Ebola to 864233 to donate $10 to @UNICEFUSA and help save lives.

UNICEF has long since gotten past the accusations of anti-Semitism that cloud so much of what takes place at the UN.  In fact, I received the information I am forwarding from the New York Board of Rabbis.  But if you are looking toward helping using a Jewish organization, the American Jewish World Service also has an emergency campaign going on right now.

Ebola scares us, but it also unites people around the world – the disease does not distinguish between Jew and Muslim, American and African.  It is threat to us all.  It threatens our health, and our humanity too. It threatens our health, and our humanity too. We need to place the threat into perspective and not let panic overwhelm our compassion.  But most of all, we need to eliminate that threat.

 We can #StopEbola, but we need to act now.

Voting:  A Jewish Duty

See this piece by David Markus on why it is a Jewish duty to vote next Tuesday.  Why? 

First, government is important. As in ancient days, we “pray for government’s welfare, for without fear of it [we] would swallow each other alive” (M. Avot 3:2). The duty to create and support government is one of the few duties that Jewish law recognizes for all, Jew and non-Jew alike (B.T. Sanhedrin 56a). To Maimonides (1135-1204), the purpose is to ensure public order (Mishneh Torah, Melachim 9:14); to Nachmanides (1194-1270), the purpose extends to include all social welfare (comm. B.T. Avodah Zara 4a). Public safety, health, social equity, the rule of law – the very fabric of modern life in an interdependent world –today require wise, effective and democratically accountable government as never before.   Second, Jewish tradition views government as a human partnership with God.  Click here to read the rest.

Fowl Language between America and Israel

In the face of the unprecedented public display of animosity between the Obama and Netanyahu leadership teams, the next several weeks are not going to be easy ones for American Jews.  We are going to be expected to choose sides.  But the majority of Jews, I suspect, wish a plague on both houses for their reckless abandonment of sanity, which has descended to the use of “fowl” language by an unnamed American official, at a time when the world screams for levelheadedness.  The slur, reported by Jeffrey Goldberg in the Atlantic, has been rightly condemned by Jewish organizations and American officials, including Sec of State Kerry.  Things are bad, and they are getting worse at precisely the time when America and Israel need to be walking in lockstep – as the November 24 deadline approaches in the negotiations over Iran’s nuclear capacities.  I about this on my Times of Israel blog: Centrist Quandary: Iran Ennobler or Settlement Enabler?  

Shabbat Shalom, and don’t forget to “fall back” on Saturday night.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Hannah Nekritz on Noah

Shabbat Shalom!

            My Torah portion discusses Noah and the ark. It also discusses other interesting aspects of this story. For instance, in the beginning of my portion, the Torah states that Noah was righteous as well as blameless in his time.  I thought this was really interesting as it doesn’t necessarily mean that Noah was a good man.

            This situation could have gone one of two ways. In the first scenario, Noah is a mensch who cares for others and for the earth. Or, Noah’s goodness might have been relative to other people’s behavior at that time. If they were all cruel, selfish and full of greed and Noah behaved just a little better than them, he could have been considered good in his time.

But to be any kind of good for his generation, Noah had to be able to think out of the box and take a leap of faith.  After all, it’s not easy to feed every species of animal that ever existed.  There is a midrash claiming that Noah did not sleep when he was in the ark.  Instead, he rushed around feeding every animal what it normally ate when it normally ate.  It takes a lot of creativity to keep such a schedule and to keep all the animals happy – and it takes a lot of faith to believe that eventually the rain would stop and there would be dry land.

                Over the last three years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking out of the box just like Noah.  I’ve been part of “Odyssey of the Mind,” which is an international problem solving and creativity competition.  My Odyssey team has done really well, winning twice in the state competition. 

                Last year, we performed a skit with a great message that reminded me of this Torah portion.  Our characters were selected to save the earth by doing something never done before.  They traveled inside a super creative boy (by ice cube instead of ark) and returned his brain to its normal state, before his power threatened the future of the world.

                Noah also had to save the world from danger, but in this case it had gone much farther.  It wasn’t just one dangerous person, it was everyone. So the answer there was to build an ark, instead of an ice cube.

             If Noah had been in in Odyssey of the Mind, he might have used spontaneous problem solving to do some things a little differently on the ark. For instance, he could have built the world’s first conveyor belt to bring food all around the ark.  That way, he could get some sleep.

             Does anyone else have any ideas?

            He also could have built a play area and spent time every day playing with the animals, just like I do.

 Some of you know that I spend time at the Stamford Nature Center volunteering on the farm with the animals.  I feed them, give them hay, groom and walk them.  I like horses and goats and must admit that I even have a soft spot for seven little piglets – if I’m allowed to say that in temple!   So on the ark; I would care for all of them.

                Judaism cares a lot about animals too.  In fact, there is a whole category of Jewish law directed towards animals, called Tza’ar ba’alay chayyim.  There are lots of important laws about this.  Did you know that Jewish law states that you shouldn’t eat before you feed your pet?

                When I think about Noah, while it’s true that he wasn’t necessarily the most righteous, anyone who was so kind to animals is a good man in my eyes.  It’s no small thing to save every species you can think of.  Had Noah failed in this mission, I would be volunteering at a very empty farm.

                For my mitzvah project, I’m doing something that Noah also did.  He adopted a couple of dogs, and I am collecting toys and food and making donations to “Adopt a Dog,” an organization that takes care of dogs and cats that have been abandoned or given up. Please drop off any donations in my Dog House upstairs. I will be bringing my donations over soon and welcome anyone who would like to come with me and learn more about this organization and how well they fit in the Noah theme.