Shabbat-O-Gram for June 26

(click here to share this card send out by the organization Keshet)   Candle lighting - 8:12 Torah Portion - Hukkat Shabbat Shalom, as we begin to slow down, with many people already away (including Cantor Fishman), but things continue to hop at TBE.  We are open for business every day, all year round - which means that if you are around town, c'mon down!  We are especially in need of support re. our morning minyan lately.  A special mazal tov to Jordana Raich and her family, who leave for Israel shortly.  Jordana will become Bat Mitzvah there.  Note that the Shabbat-O-Gram takes an official hiatus over the summer.  Email communication from me will continue to take place on an "as needed" basis, along with Facebook posts and Tweets. The ABC's of BDS Join us this evening at 7 PM for our service honoring our 12th grade graduates. (Here's a photo of the class when those who were in Hebrew School were in 7th grade) as we bring Linda Scherzer here to discuss The Challenges Facing Pro-Israel Students on Campus. (Feel free to bring cameras tonight to take pics of our students, as we'll have a chance to do so before Shabbat officially begins). As Mideast peace prospects have faltered, Jewish and pro-Israel college students have faced increasing challenges and attacks from Israel's detractors on campus. From Israel Apartheid week, where students are harassed at Israeli checkpoints, to the college classroom, where some professors present intellectually unbalanced views of Israel, many young people find themselves on the front lines of the Arab-Israeli conflict in America, struggling to win the battle for public opinion. Whether you are a college student, you have children in college or preparing to go to college, you need to understand what young people will face on campus and how they can be prepared. Linda Scherzer is an award-winning, former Middle East correspondent for CNN who for the last 13 years has been training top high school students to become informed and confident advocates for Israel when they get to college. Through her experience as an educator, communicator and PR expert, she will analyze today's campus dynamics and empower our community to stand up confidently and make Israel's case on campus. Linda will also take extra time to speak with those students who wish to remain here after her presentation and the service. A reminder that tonight's service begins at 7 PM.  Beginning NEXT WEEK, we shift to the old-new time of 7:30.  Shabbat morning will remain at 9:30.  NEXT WEEK's services, Friday night and Shabbat morning, will be outdoors, weather permitting. Forgiveness: the Best Revenge On a day when the headlines scream of innocents being brutalized throughout the world and of a revered pastor being buried in South Carolina, at the same time we see signs, here in America, at least, that society has become more inclusive and caring. This week's landmark rulings by the Supreme Court have only intensified that sense, including today's approving same-sex marriage nationally. I attended a local vigil this week for Charleston victims, with people representing several different faiths coming together in shared sadness and love.  Nothing that comes as a result of such madness can ever be called good, but the fact that this tragedy has brought communities closer is one positive that can't be denied.  I've always had trouble with the idea of forgiving someone who does a heinous act, especially when that person is so filled with hate.  Turning the other cheek is not a Jewish thing - we forgive, but not instinctively, and especially when the act is so evil.  Still, a speech at the community vigil by Inni Kaur, a representative of the local Sikh community, helped me to understand what this is about, as she reflected on her own faith group's experiences. It should be noted that the Sikh community suffered a similar massacre, at a temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin in 2012.  Unfortunately, no religious group is immune to such attacks.  Among the most appalling recently was the shooting at the Jerusalem synagogue in late 2014.  Mosques too are often attacked, including today's massacre in Kuwait.  In many cases, it is Muslims attacking Muslims, just as the Charleston attack involved a Christian attacking Christians.  But whether the attacks are racially, ethnically, religiously or nationalistically motivated, attacks on houses of worship are simply unacceptable in a civilized society. And I also include the so-called Price Tag attacks by Israeli Jews against mosques and churches in Israel and the West Bank, the most recent being the torching of a famous Galilee church (the place where the miracle of the loaves and fishes is said to have occurred) just last week.  You can see the full list of Price Tag attacks here.    The image of people at prayer or study witnessing their sanctuary violated, having the pastoral serenity and love of neighbor represented by the prophet Balaam's vision of the "goodly tents of Jacob" being rendered instantaneously into a garish nightmare, is one that cuts across cultures.   Here is what my Sikh friend said, recalling Oak Creek, and how for the perpetrator there, "our turbans and brown skins were foreign and threatening." "We forgive you," were the words that resounded in Oak Creek. "I forgive you," said the daughter of one of the nine victims that were killed at the Church in Charleston. But let us not make the mistake that their forgiveness is forgetting. Rather their forgiveness is freedom from hate. In both cases, these acts were not random and they were not isolated. However, the way the families of the victims and their communities chose to respond, have raised our consciousness. In Wisconsin, the community rallied together and preached love over hate, and even forgave the perpetrator of the violence.  Similarly, the noble community of Charleston and the Emmanuel AME Church has humbled us with its compassion and its incredible acts of forgiveness. We marvel at these communities' generosity and strength because it helps us draw some inspiration from such a tragedy. These communities' have shown us that: Faith helps endure any hardship, even the most unspeakable suffering. Faith does not mean we forget pain or grief. Faith means that we live free of hate. These monumental acts of forgiveness compel each and every one of us to work towards ending the racial terror that exists in our country today; to find ways to look beyond the boundaries of race, color, ethnicity and see the Oneness in all. So forgiving enemies is not about letting them off the hook - it's about telling them, loud and clear, that they have not succeeded in driving a wedge between groups.  They have not succeeded in forcing us to hate. The best "revenge" against the Charleston perpetrator (aside from not mentioning his name), is that he must be positively bristling to see how his act effectively accomplished what people had been unable to do for 150 years.  He singlehandedly took the Confederate flag off the grounds of public buildings and off the shelves of Walmart.  Imagine how he must be tortured to know that his act brought people together as never before.  Perhaps the lowering of the stars and bars from state capitols, not just South Carolina, but even Alabama, could be a better deterrent for the next hate crime than any form of punishment. This crazy young man accomplished in one evening what Martin Luther King could not accomplish in a lifetime, at least in regard to the removal of this symbol. The removal, with bipartisan acclamation, of a great symbol of hate, and the Supreme Court's officially ending discrimination against a long-persecuted group: Not a bad week for the descendants of Selma, Stonewall, Seneca Falls - and Sinai. For the first time I understand what it means to forgive one's enemy - and why forgiveness can be the best revenge of all. Zero Hour Approaches With all that is happening this week, we can't forget that that next Tuesday might be the most important date of all.  That's the deadline for an Iran agreement. Though an extension is always possible, I would hope that we'll have clarity by then as to what the Iranians are willing to agree to, and whether it goes far enough.  One can only hope that, buoyed by his legacy achievements of this past week, President Obama will be far less invested in seeing this deal through, unless it is seen as a consensus "good deal" by a wide swath of those who understand the long and short term implications, including those five former advisors who sent up red flags this week.  Dennis Ross, who spoke here a few years ago and has been highly trusted by the President himself, is among them.  Stay tuned... ...and Shabbat Shalom! Rabbi Joshua Hammerman Temple Beth El 350 Roxbury Road Stamford, Connecticut 06902 203-322-6901 www.tbe.org An Egalitarian Conservative Synagogue

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Grieving with Charleston, Pride Shabbat, Michael Oren, Saluting our HS Graduates, the Talmud and Archie Bunker's chair Shabbat O gram for June 19

Shabbat candle lighting - 8:11 PM Torah Portion - Korah - see a three minute cartoon summary here  Shabbat shalom  On a very sad day following the senseless, hate-inspired murders in Charleston.  People at prayer, murdered in cold blood in a sacred place. We Jews know what it is like to face this brand of unadulterated hate.  And we need to speak out constantly against racism in all its forms.  We also are sobered by the ease with which an unstable, angry young man was able to acquire a gun.  Our prayers go out to all the victims and their families.  Here is a statement released by the Interfaith Council of New York: New York, NY - We of different faith traditions stand together in our grief for the murdered victims of Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina.  We mourn the senseless loss of life, the broken hearts of the bereaved and the brutal disregard of human decency.  We pray that God send comfort to entire shattered community and fill their hearts with courage as they confront this horrific tragedy. God should be colorless. Sacred places of worship should be safe for all people, free from violence and fear.  We all proclaim "Love your neighbor as yourself," without distinction of race or religion. We will continue to work together to extinguish the fires of hatred and discrimination, religious or otherwise so that we broaden the path where all can worship and walk together.  Graduation Central   Congratulations to all who are graduating this week.  Today, Roxbury Rd. becomes graduation central, with Westhill's ceremony this afternoon and Bi-Cultural's 8thgraders here this evening. In honor of these grads, just above and at the bottom of this email are some photos from the archives of our TBE High School graduates when they were in 7th and 8th grades.  Next Shabbat we'll be honoring them, and all our high school and college students are urged to join us to hear Linda Scherzer speak about issues involving Israel on campus. H.S. grads, please let me know if you are coming - we've got goodies!    Pride Shabbat   It's hard to believe that this Friday will be our first Pride Shabbat, but we are more than making up for lost time, as we'll be featuring world-class klezmer fiddler Alicia Svigals (click to hear her play!) and keyboard/accordionist Uri Sharlin. Katie Kaplan will also be joining the cantor and myself.  We're expecting a big crowd, so get here early!  And invite your friends, all your friends.  Since our publicity began to go out, we've heard from people who have been looking for a long time for a truly loving community.  I know that's precisely what we are. When you arrive here on Friday you may notice something new next to the coat room. We've long had an accessible bathroom for those with physical disabilities, dedicated in memory of Marsha Gladstein, who was a champion of those with such needs. That restroom will now be designated as our all-gender bathroom too.  We want this to be a place that is warm and welcoming to everyone.     This will be the final time the cantor and I will be leading services together until mid-August.  She heads off to vacation this coming week, and then I'll go out when she returns.  It's been a great first year, capped off by last weekend's phenomenal Cantor's Concert, which was dedicated in memory of Norma and Milton Mann, as this annual concert will be moving forward.  Click here for the photo album, courtesy of Aviva Maller.  You can almost hear the music! We've long had an accessible bathroom for those with physical disabilities (and the room was dedicated in memory of Marsha Gladstein, a champion of rights for the disabled); it will now be designated as our all-gender bathroom too.  We want this to be a place that is warm and welcoming to everyone. See our sign below.     The God of Love   As I wrote this week on the Times of Israel site, in posting entitled "The God of Love," "It is truly astounding how quickly the landscape has changed. It often takes generations for social attitudes to evolve, and we've seen how stubbornly slow that process can be with racism in America and anti-Semitism everywhere else. But in America, for LGBTQ rights, the change has been stunning and dramatic." In the article, I trace my own evolution on this topic to my relationship with my cousin Jeff Avick, who spoke here in 1993 about his coping with HIV.  He said, "The God that I learned about in my home was a God of love, understanding, mercy and reason. That God has given me real strength...His love for us is not measured by the absence of hardships. His love for us is the life he's given us." Six years later, when I last saw Jeff in hospice, curled up in a fetal position and barely breathing, I understood that no God of mine could have afflicted him so mercilessly. Rather, I sensed the sanctity in every heroic gasp of air, in each moment of survival. I reached back for every bit of kindness I could summon, and held his hand. At his funeral, which took place in my synagogue's sanctuary, I read a poem Jeff had written decades earlier, when he was a teenager, called "Valentine to Man." "I listened to the music - And it sounded so sweet that I shouted up to heaven: "Let me love." And God spoke to me and He said... "You do love. You feel the sun rise and exalt as it travels Its long journey over its old road. You see the great green wonder rolling in and out, taking life from its depths of turbulence to its shores of peace You hear the music of nature singing to you Ringing sweetly in your ears. You laugh and you cry, small yet large against the majesty of life. And while there is no one, nothing - You do love... And you breathe and sing along with the awkward, Beautiful melody... AND YOU KNOW ME, And you love." We'll be reading from Jeff's poetry at Friday's service.  I've reflected on Jeff's words as the world has become more accepting of people in their infinite variety, and more embracing of all who don't fit so neatly into the categories that used to comprise what we called "community" but was in fact was leaving far too many behind. Not only have I been freed from old, crusty preconceptions, my God has as well. My God is now, unequivocally, a God of love, not a God of exclusion, not a God who afflicts good, loving people with dreaded diseases to punish them for being so good and loving. Some come out of the closet. I came off the fence.  Either one is a leap of faith, an act of great courage. It is also an act of return - a return to our true values, our deepest held beliefs, to who we were all along. Click here for the full article.   "Taste of Shabbat" on Shabbat morning We'll be kicking off a series of special "Taste of Shabbat" programming, which, much like Synaplex a few years ago, will give you the chance to experience Shabbat prayer on several different levels.  Unlike Synaplex, where several different services went on simultaneously, this week we'll be staying all together, experiencing these alternatives styles within the same service.  So, from 9:30 - 10:15, I'll be exploring some of the themes of the Shacharit (morning) service and we'll open things up for informal questions and conversation.  At the same time, Cantor Fishman will spice things up with some beautiful, meditative melodies.  For the first part of the service, then, we'll exercise our left brain, our right brain and our soul. At 10:15, our service will revert back to traditional mode for the Torah service and beyond. This experiment is a preview of something we hope to expand upon in the fall.  We would love your feedback. Our ritual committee, clergy and staff are committed to moving ahead with bold new initiatives for Shabbat evening AND morning, even as we remain mindful of preserving a traditional flavor. Also this Shabbat, we will be bidding "Shalom" to Chuck and Ellen Donen, who will be relocating from our community, with a special lunch in their honor.  Come early and then stay for lunch!   Two Sides to Everything... I had the chance last week to watch this week an interesting debate between pundits Ari Shavit and Caroline Glick on the continued viability of the Two State Solution.  I highly recommend it.  It's about an hour long but well worth it.  You can find it here, along with a transcript, at the C-Span website.  I strongly believe that "two states" is an existential necessity for Israel, but even Shavit has some cautionary words about the chances to get anything done now.  Glick argues with passion for her one-state case - which in my mind is a spurious and dangerous claim.  But watch for yourself and decide! Meanwhile, Michael Oren's new book and Wall Street Journal op-ed have been causing quite a stir this week.  Oren, a former ambassador to the US and, more significantly, TBE Hoffman lecturer, who also spoke to our Israel tour group during the withdrawal from Gaza ten years ago, is widely respected, so his insider view carries great weight and needs to be considered.  Oren's interview with David Horovitz of the Times of Israel is sobering.  But as always, there is a second side, and JJ Goldberg's rebuttal to Oren makes some excellent points.  There tends to be a romanticization of how prior US leaders handled the alliance, and Goldberg suggests that Oren does that too.     So there are two sides to everything....    ...Except This Now the answer to those few people on earth still asking the question "Is the earth warming?" can be, "Is the Pope Catholic?"  The Pope's searing encyclical on climate change adds a significant moral, religious voice to the overwhelming chorus of scientists and people of faith who understand the need for an immediate, concerted global response to save our planet, because of changing climate conditions that are at least in part man-made.  Our CSA partner Hazon hasreleased a comprehensive media guide, presenting a Jewish call to action in response to the Pope's plea.  As people of faith are rallying behind the core tenets of their traditions, which encourage care for all of Creation (both humans and the environment), we must all promote the common good by protecting those who disproportionately feel the environmental impacts and health effects of climate change. There is no second side to this issue anymore.   Is the earth warming?  Ask a billion Catholics! Now, on the lighter side....  Five Suggestions from Rabbinic Sources for Father's Day (share)   While Jewish mothers usually get all the attention, this is the weekend to celebrate Jewish fathers.  Some suggestions from the rabbis: 1)     A child should not stand or sit in a place where his father is accustomed to standing or sitting (Kiddushin 31b)  Some call this the "Archie Bunker Law." 2)     A child should not support his father's opponents in a scholarly dispute. In other words, they forbade "Patrilinial Dissent." (Sorry for that groan-inducing pun) 3)     The rabbis praised Duma, a heathen who refused to awaken his father, although he needed a key lying under his father's pillow in order to conclude a transaction that would have netted him a profit of 600,000 gold coins. One can imagine how proud Dama's father was of his son when he woke up... (Kiddishin 31a) 4)     The rabbis state firmly that a child is obligated to attend to the material needs of his parents while they are alive and to mourn for them properly when they die. (see more rabbinic sources here) 5)     One more suggestion not mentioned in the Talmud: on Father's Day, let your dad sleep nice and late! -          Also, read how Jewish fathers are the opposite of TV dads. -          And two favorite articles I've written about fatherhood, following the births of my two sons: "Birth Rite" and "Fathers and Sons" -          The Forward asked for Six Word Memoirs about Jewish fathers. Here are a few of them: Actor, scrap man, embellisher of of stories. - Ilene Stein, 64, Riverside, Calif., about Max M. Fields   He lives generously. That's my inheritance. - Paula Chaiken, 42, Kingston, Pa., about Gene Chaiken   Dad's matzo balls? Hard. Heart? Soft. - Cheryl Levine, 48, Yellow Springs, Ohio, about Barry Levine   Dad, homework done, healthy. Don't worry! - Debbie Wasserman Schultz, 46, congresswoman, Weston, Fla., about Larry Wasserman   Always making puns, always causing groans.   (See "Patrilineal Dissent," above) - Julie Grossman, 26, North Bethesda, Md., about Garry Grossman   Sense of humor, debt-free educations. - Alexandra Schmidt, 44, Niskayuna, N.Y. about John Lutch   Eating ice cream in underwear. 5 a.m. - Rich Cohen, 45, author of "Israel is Real," Ridgefield, Conn., about Herb Cohen   Captivated by Alharizi, Job and Frost. - Jonathan Reichert, 81, physics professor and businessman, Buffalo, N.Y. about Victor Reichert, close friend and mentor to Robert Frost   Zayde shined my shoes and heart. - Donna Erbs, 52, Portland, Ore., about Max Joffee   Waiter, I ordered the kosher lobster. - Shira Kaiserman, 28, New York, about Ronald Kaiserman   Clean linen handkerchiefs comfort me still. - Roberta Rosenberg, 58, Clarksville, Md., about Harry Rosenberg   Brimming bookshelves - bent, leant and shmoozed. - Wayne Firestone, 49, president of the Genesis Prize Foundation, Rockville, Md., about Bruce Firestone   Mel Brooks movie marathon: perfect Shabbos. - Casey Stein, 25, New York, about Alan Stein   Dude dug prunes, melbas and mama. - Henry Greenspan, 65, Ann Arbor, Mich., about Albert Lewis Greenspan Happy Father's Day! Rabbi Joshua Hammerman MORE PHOTOS OF OUR H.S. GRADS - FROM OUR WAYBACK MACHINE

Five Rabbinic Suggestions for Father's Day

While Jewish mothers usually get all the attention, this is the weekend to celebrate Jewish fathers.

1) A child should not stand or sit in a place where his father is accustomed to standing or sitting (Kiddishin 31b).  Some call this the “Archie Bunker Law.”

  2) A child should not support his father’s opponents in a scholarly dispute. In other words, they forbade “Patrilinial Dissent.” (Sorry for that groan inducing pun)

   3) The rabbis praised Duma, a heathen who refused to awaken his father, although he needed a key lying under his father’s pillow in order to conclude a transaction that would have netted him a profit of 600,000 gold coins. One can imagine how proud Dama’s father was of his son when he woke up…

  4) The rabbis state firmly that a child is obligated to attend to the material needs of his parents while they are alive and to mourn for them properly when they die.

   5) One more suggestion not mentioned in the Talmud: on Father’s Day, let your dad sleep nice and late!

-          Also, read how Jewish fathers are the opposite of TV dads.

-          Check out this historical survey of Jews and fathers

-          Two favorite articles I’ve written about fatherhood, following the births of my two sons: “Birth Rite” and “Fathers and Sons”

-          The Forward asked for Six Word Memoirs about Jewish fathers. Here are a few of them:

Actor, scrap man, embellisher of of stories.
— Ilene Stein, 64, Riverside, Calif., about Max M. Fields

He lives generously. That’s my inheritance.
— Paula Chaiken, 42, Kingston, Pa., about Gene Chaiken

Dad’s matzo balls? Hard. Heart? Soft.
— Cheryl Levine, 48, Yellow Springs, Ohio, about Barry Levine

Dad, homework done, healthy. Don’t worry!
— Debbie Wasserman Schultz, 46, congresswoman, Weston, Fla., about Larry Wasserman

Always making puns, always causing groans.   (See “Patrilineal Dissent,” above)
— Julie Grossman, 26, North Bethesda, Md., about Garry Grossman

Sense of humor, debt-free educations.
— Alexandra Schmidt, 44, Niskayuna, N.Y. about John Lutch

Eating ice cream in underwear. 5 a.m.
— Rich Cohen, 45, author of “Israel is Real,” Ridgefield, Conn., about Herb Cohen

Captivated by Alharizi, Job and Frost.
— Jonathan Reichert, 81, physics professor and businessman, Buffalo, N.Y. about Victor Reichert, close 

friend and mentor to Robert Frost

Zayde shined my shoes and heart.
— Donna Erbs, 52, Portland, Ore., about Max Joffee

Waiter, I ordered the kosher lobster.
— Shira Kaiserman, 28, New York, about Ronald Kaiserman

Clean linen handkerchiefs comfort me still.
— Roberta Rosenberg, 58, Clarksville, Md., about Harry Rosenberg

Brimming bookshelves — bent, leant and shmoozed.
— Wayne Firestone, 49, president of the Genesis Prize Foundation, Rockville, Md., about Bruce Firestone

Mel Brooks movie marathon: perfect Shabbos.
— Casey Stein, 25, New York, about Alan Stein

Dude dug prunes, melbas and mama.
— Henry Greenspan, 65, Ann Arbor, Mich., about Albert Lewis Greenspan

Theirs — writer, scholar, lecturer. Mine — Aba. 

Fathers and Sons (adapted) from Stamford Advocate, April 1991

I’d known all along that my father would never abandon me, but never did I realize it more than on the day my first child was born.

What I’m going to write here will sound sexist to some, but I beg my female friends to indulge me on this one.  My training in religious traditions makes me take special note of the unique complexity of the father-son relationship.  For Jews, the primary command of the Passover Seder is to tell the story to your son (which in many modern translations has been expanded to include daughters too).  In Islam, the Quran is to be memorized and recited, with special care given toward its transmission to sons.  And for Christians, the story of Jesus revolves around the most theologically complex father-son relationship imaginable – complex yet so very simple.

For it all comes down to one thing. Every son needs a father, a close father to love and teach him, one who is present and caring, whether the father be the simplest of men – or God.

For twelve years, I had been searching for my father and, in one magical instant, I found him.

For twelve years I had been continually driving around that block, refusing to allow myself to be drawn into the light of my home, to the finality of my father’s death.  For twelve years I had been orbiting.

When Mara went into labor, I felt myself turning the corner of that street once again.  And then, when my son Ethan was pulled from his mother’s womb and his face turned toward me, I know that my eons of roaming aimlessly around the block had ended.  My father had returned.

The face was too serious and calm to belong to an infant – even though the lungs were crying like crazy – and too focused on one object in the room: me.  “Your journey is over,” the face seemed to be saying.  “You can leave the car and come back in the house.  It’s OK now.  I’m back. 

The hair, the lips, the nose, the all belonged to Ethan.  But the eyes were my father’s eyes.  And in a single moment the distant past became the present, out of death came new life, and the clock that had stopped on that New Year’s Day twelve years before started ticking again. Halftime was finally over.

I’d known it all along; my dad would never abandon me.  He was a rarity for his era, demonstratively affectionate and involved with his children, day and night.  Unlike all those TV dads of the Ward Cleaver era, mine actually took me to his office – often. (How often did Fred Flintstone and Barney bring Pebbles and Bam Bam to the quarry?)  While he worked, I filled coloring books and traded corny riddles and knock-knock jokes with the secretaries. 

In his early ‘90s best seller “Iron John,” Robert Bly writes of the phenomenon of the resolute and absent father, the dad who, on those rare occasions when he is home, has no idea which cold remedy to take or where the diapers are hidden.  Citing the work of a German psychologist, Bly argues that if a child does not actually see what his father does during the day, a hole will appear in his psyche, “and that hole will fill with demons who tell him that his father’s work is evil and that the father is evil.”  It was the absent father of the Ward Cleaver era that led directly to the student protests of the ‘60s, Bly suggests, as the students’ fears regarding their own fathers were transferred to all male figures in authority.

As I looked at Ethan, I thought of how present my father was – and how I wanted to be a present father too.  When the boy cries, I thought, I want to hold him every time until the cry becomes a coo.  And I want to hear every cry and coo, be there with him every waking moment, and if that is impossible, which it is, I want him to have such vivid memories of me that he’ll feel me there even when I’m not.

The father who is present for his child is never remote, I’ve discovered, and the father who is remote is never present – even when he is in the same room.

In the book of Genesis, Abraham’s words to Isaac were never recorded, but between the lines of the text one can guess what must have been said by one about to die at the hands of his father.  Isaac’s silent scream was a cry filled with the horror of the ultimate parental abandonment, one equaled in intensity only on rare occasions throughout history – perhaps only in Egypt, or at Golgotha.  Or Auschwitz.  “My God, my God,” echoed the pleas of the enslaved Israelite, the suffering Jesus and the brutalized European Jew.  “Why have you forsaken me?”

These cries to a common Father were often heard – and often not.  Many of us are still waiting.

Meanwhile, I discovered something quite astounding in February 1991.  My father was back, all right, but he could no longer be detected in the face of my son, though those eyes did continue to look strangely familiar. 

Instead, my father chose a most curious yet appropriate place to make his presence known – in my own presence.  Inasmuch as Ethan’s dad has been able to be the kind of present father every child deserves, a child of any age, Ethan’s grandfather will never be very far away.

A Tale of Two Bar Mitzvahs - Shabbat O Gram for June 12

Shabbat-O-Gram 

 

  

Shabbat Shalom

Friday night at 7 PM we will at long last be hearing from Marcia Lane, as part of our "This American Jewish Life" series.  Read her fascinating bio. We also welcome backKatie Kaplan and David Bravo.  

A reminder of the unforgettable evening of music and memories that awaits us at this Sunday night's Cantor's Concert. As if that isn't enough, toward the end, we'll also have an important announcement to make.

Also, you won't want to miss next week, Friday the 19^th, our Pride Shabbat.  We'll have some special guests, superb musicians Alicia Svigals and Uri Sharlin. Alicia is the world's leading klezmer fiddler and a founder of the Grammy-winning Klezmatics (her bio is beyond belief).  She is also very active within the LGBT community. Uri enthralled us just a couple of weeks ago playing keyboard and accordion.

And the following week, June 26^th, we celebrate our High School graduates while also hearing from noted expert on Israel advocacy on campus, Linda Scherzer, former CNN reporter and founding director of the Write on for Israel" program.  All high school and college students and their parents are encouraged to come to this very important program.  Since Shabbat starts late, we are also planning to take some reunion photos of our students (it's always fun to compare our 12^th grade graduates now to what they looked like then...)

And please note that as of July 3, our Friday services will be returning to the 7:30 start time.

Speaking of graduations, up top is a photo of our recent 7^th grade graduates, courtesy of photographer Fred Canpolat.  See all the graduation photos and their complete Lifecycle Album here.

A Tale of Two Bar Mitzvahs

 

 
 

It was the best of Shabbats and the worst of Shabbats.

Here at Beth El last Shabbat, Jewels Harrison, challenged by autism and unable to speak a word until he was three, was able to fulfill a dream in becoming bar mitzvah.  He read Torah and led prayers, inspiring hundreds who attended and many, many others who have since heard about it. The service was attended by a member of the US Congress and a number of community leaders.

Meanwhile, we found out after Shabbat that a bar mitzvah for autistic students in Israel was cancelled and the kids' hopes dashed, by none other than the President of Israel, who followed in the footsteps of the Rehovot's mayor in scuttling the plans, for the simple reason that the service would have involved a Masorti (Conservative) rabbi. This betrayal, on top of the Rehovot betrayal, has infuriated many people.

This week, the leadership of the Conservative Movement reacted in an unprecedentedly unrestrained manner after the most recent humiliation.

Please read that letter in its entirety, as it gives needed background information.

 

Also, read this posting on the New York Times blog from a leading Israeli journalist.

And below is a letter being circulated among Conservative congregations:

Dear Friends,

Yesterday, you received an email about the regrettable actions of Israeli President Rivlin, which demonstrated disdain and disrespect for the more than two million Conservative Jews around the world, many of whom work tirelessly for Israel, lead some of the most important Jewish organizations in the country and are loyal and steadfast supporters of the Jewish State.

Today, we are asking you to add your voice to the chorus of outrage by sending the following email to one or all of these addresses:

public@president.gov.il lishka@president.gov.il htubi@president.gov.il As we are commanded by our tradition to speak out in the face of injustice, we believe that the volume of voices raised in protest may help President Rivlin reverse his wrongheadedness. In this spirit, please become an activist for the cause of religious pluralism in Israel. Write to President Rivlin - there's an email template below for your convenience.  Post this on your Facebook page. Ask your friends to do the same.  Ask your rabbi to speak about it from the bimah. Write something for your synagogue bulletin and e-newsletter. Alert your Federations.      Take action now, send an email to President Rivlin.   The Masorti Foundation

I only hope that the Israeli government does not underestimate the anger that this callous action has caused on this side of the pond. It's one thing to constantly humiliate non-Orthodox clergy, who have come to expect such treatment - perhaps to a fault. It's one thing to humiliate prospective converts or those who pine for civil marriage. They've gotten used to shipping off to Cyprus or some such. It's one thing to keep us from praying in our authentic, egalitarian manner at the Kotel, and to arrest our women and pummel those men who dare to help them.  But it's another to callously dash the hopes of the disabled.

The President's office is feeling the heat.  I texted with a member of his staff on Wednesday and he was very concerned that after Rivlin gave a major address (and ahvery important and good one, on changing Israeli demographics) at this week's Herzliya conference, the press asked only about this incident.  The staffer said that if I bring a million Conservative Jews to Israel on aliyah, then life will become very different for the non-Orthodox streams.  That's not an appropriate response, even if it is the unfortunate political reality.  Israel is the state of all the Jewish people, not just those who live there - at least that's what the Prime Minister keeps on saying.  Rivlin has done a very good job at uniting Israelis. He does care about the disabled.  He also cares about Israel's image.  So do I.  He is a good and decent man, who does listen.

Please take action.  We need for him to listen now.

----------------------------------------------------

 

In light of the Rehovot mess, the contrast with what happened here last Shabbat cannot be greater.

Mary Harrison, Jewels' mom, gave a stirring speech last week.  She cited current statistics, which show that 1 in 68 children born today is diagnosed with autism.  In 1975, it was roughly one in 5,000.  We do not know why the surge has been that dramatic, but, according to Stephanie Seneff, research scientist for MIT, by 2025 one in two children will be autistic.  To date, there is no cure. The cause is unknown.

Then Mary added:

"Autism does not discriminate, autism doesn't care what a person's religion or race is; it doesn't care where you live, or economic circumstances, autism has no regard for heritage.    It affects any and all demographics.

Those on the autism spectrum might very well be the most misunderstood and misrepresented group in our society today.   We live in a time where we are most comfortable slapping a label and writing a prescription.   Where devices have replaced direct communication."

Mary then spoke of a recent conversation, where the topic came up about whether children with autism can actually understand God.

"I believe God made us and has placed in each person a desire for truth and justice, for love and compassion.  It's like we are all born with a missing part that only God can fill. Jewels from an early age seem to naturally connect to God."

And indeed, from infancy, Jewels was exceedingly comfortable here and people always were welcoming of him. I can't recall a single "shush," as he would run around and sing Hebrew melodies. He enjoyed being at services, and especially delighted in the music.

His exuberance reminded me of a time when my son Daniel (who, in case you didn't hear it yet from the eternally kvelling dad, recently graduated from college) was just three. One morning, I brought him to minyan. Midway through the Kedusha he abruptly left our row and began running circles in the aisle, singing out letters of the alef-bet.

Embarrassed, I coaxed him back to his seat.

Later he told Mara, "Daddy didn't want me to dance at temple today."

It made me think of how we drain all our kids of the passion, the pulp of prayer, the pure joy, and how only the lucky few survive to reclaim it when they are older.

Jewels helped the rest of us to see what the pure oxygen of prayer can be. Few of us can ever get to his degree of spiritual joy. But in order for our communities to get there, we need him as much as he needs us - if not more.

The kind of support Jewels Harrison received has been callously snatched from the students in Rehovot. For pettiest of purposes, the President of Israel has kept some treasured children from dancing and singing before God.

He may have intended to slap down a few Conservative Jews, but his real victim has been joy itself.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman