Monday, April 8, 2019

Review of "Mensch-Marks" in the American Jewish World (Minneapolis)

Friday, April 5th, 2019...4:24 pm

Be a mensch

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Mensch Marks: Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi, by Joshua Hammerman, Health Communications, paperback, 240 pages, $14.95

Reviewed by NEAL GENDLER
Joshua Hammerman wants to amplify the importance of being a mensch in a world with a surplus of discord.
The flat-rocks illustration on the cover of Mensch Marks shows the idea behind the 42 essays inside: stepping stones to menschlichkeit, which for those bereft of Yiddish or German could be rendered as “menschiness.”
“One isn’t born a mensch, nor is it a status that one ever completely achieves; for to boast that you are a mensch is, by definition, not to possess the requisite humility to be one,” says Hammerman, rabbi of Conservative, egalitarian Temple Beth El, Stamford, Conn.
“In a world as dehumanizing as ours has become, simply being a kind, honest and loving person, a man or woman of integrity, has become a measure of heroism,” he says.
The word “love” recurs throughout, and pieces have titles such as “Rising Above the Hate,” “Shedding the Baggage,” “Fathers and Sons,” “The Invisible Fence,” “Numb and Numb-er” and “My Brother’s Keeper,” in which he discusses having a disabled brother, implicitly urging us to see the person inside the disabled.
“Hugging, Blessing, Letting Go” points out how parental pride in children becoming adults is coupled with diminishing ability to protect them. The Bar Mitzva of his son Dan was emotionally difficult. “Only part of me survived this ordeal,” he says, “the part that has learned how to hug with one arm and let go with the other.”
There’s a lovely essay on appreciating the beauty of nature and the limits of our human power.
Most of the 42 steps expand on behaviors taught by good parents, but Hammerman — 2008 winner of the Rockower Award for excellence in Jewish journalism and the 2018 Religion News Association award for commentary — is a clever writer with some humanizing self-deprecation and delightful turns of phrase.
In “Shedding the Baggage,” he tells of going to an outlet mall “to buy the exact same khaki pants I purchased a few years before — only one size larger.” Hating waste, he keeps the old pants, “just in case,” but adds: “The Messiah will undoubtedly come before I again fit into them.”
Hammerman avoids self-congratulation despite a close brush in his introduction: “I’ve devoted my life to trying to become a more fully realized, morally evolved human being, a person of character.
“Jews have a word for that: mensch. … For Jews, there is no greater honor than for another person to call you one.”
There’s little here with which to disagree; everyone can benefit from more menschlichkeit, both as givers and receivers. But I don’t understand why he thinks American Jews should vote in Israeli elections. Citizens vote.
Particularly welcome is Hammerman’s admonition that “Jewish ritual is vacuous if it does not lead to ethical ends.”
“Superrabbi, the flawed model” is subtitled: “Taking myself off the pedestal.” In a time of “widespread sexual, financial and power abuses by clergy, it never has been more important to stop deifying them,” he says. His model for himself is “as a co-traveler, a very well-educated member of the flock,” sharing his experiences and learning from theirs.
His longest piece tells how an essay speculating on the disorderly result of the 2011 Super Bowl victory led by the hugely admired Tim Tebow brought national notoriety, with accusations of insulting evangelicals. Included is his 2012 Yom Kippur sermon about his error, how everyone makes errors or feels failure, and how even God forgives.
Forty of Hammerman’s mensch marks appeared earlier, mostly in New York’s big newspaper The Jewish Week. For some, he has written introductions or added material. He explains the title’s dot, which appears throughout.
A.A. Milne quotes are sprinkled in “to act as a unifying thread, a reminder that boring can be beautiful.”
His publisher doesn’t expect a bored reception: A first printing of 15,000 is much greater than for most nonfiction books.
In one place, Hammerman criticizes a modern biblical translation for taking away its flavor, but I think he does the same by using a de-gendered version of the Hillel quote: “In a place where there are no men, strive to be a man.”
“In a world that lacks humanity, be a human” is close, but not quite the same. Even Hammerman, hospitalized with kidney stones, tells himself: “Man up!” Good or bad, people are humans. Hillel is describing behavior — menschlichkeit equally available to women, who perhaps more often are its practitioners.
***
Neal Gendler is a Minneapolis writer and editor.
(American Jewish World, April 2019)







Sunday, April 7, 2019

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Samantha Bradley on Shabbat Hahodesh / Tazria


Shabbat Shalom!

My Parasha of Tazria talks a lot about leprosy. 

Yes, I got the portion that is all about leprosy!  But the beauty of Torah study is that you can find interesting things to say even about a portion that is all about leprosy.  Not only that, but it even ties into my special interest - Tae Kwon Do.

You see, the word for leprosy in Hebrew is tzara’at – or, using the title of next week’s parasha, Metzora.  Now the commentators compared metzorah to the Hebrew term for gossip, motzi-shem-ra.  Just like leprosy, which was contagious, gossip can spread very quickly, and when it does, it can cause a lot of damage.  The rabbis added that just like a disease, gossip can kill. 

The only way to steer clear of dangerous gossip is to have lots of discipline.

And that’s where Tae Kwan Do comes in.

Tae Kwan Do is something I love to do ALMOST as much as studying for my bat mitzvah!  But the two really go hand in hand. 

Tae Kwon Do teaches discipline.  Last November, I became a Black Belt, which means I have the distinction of being both a Black Belt AND a Bat Mitzvah. 

It’s even harder to become a Black Belt.  I had to break a brick with my palm - not easy – and that was after breaking four wooden boards, in four different ways. I also had to keep a raw egg for four weeks without breaking it.  I took it to tae kwon do three times a week and it didn’t break!

Oh, and one other thing.  One morning last September, I had to meditate for an hour.  At 7:45 AM, I went to the Tae Kwan Do academy and sat there silently with about a dozen other kids - without saying a single word!!!

That takes lots of discipline.  Just as in tae kwan do, it takes a great deal of discipline to be a Jew – and in both Tae Kwan Do and Judaism, we need to watch what we say.

A couple of months ago, my class at school learned the rules of proper speech in Judaism, and after meeting with Rabbi Hammerman, I tried to follow them as strictly as possible for a whole week.  I found out something very important.

Just as it was very difficult not to talk at all during the hour of meditation, it is very difficult to go a week – or even a day – without gossiping. 

Let’s just say, I gave it a good try – but by some coincidence on the first night of the week, I had a sleepover with two friends.  It was just impossible to go a whole night at a sleepover without gossiping.

Even though I had limited success, I did learn from the exercise. Throughout the week, I was definitely more aware of the dangers of this kind of speech.

Passover is coming.  In my maftir, we are commanded to tell the story of the Exodus to future generations, so telling is very important to the holiday.  The book we use at the Seder is even called the Haggadah – which means “the telling.”  We also learn the laws of Matzah in the portion.  Matzah is called the bread of affliction, and the bread of poverty, but it is also the bread of discipline.  We have to be very disciplined about what we eat on Passover.

Judaism teaches us, then, to be careful both about what goes into our mouths and what comes out.

My mitzvah project also has to do with Passover food.  I am collecting food for the Kosher for Passover food drive at Schoke Jewish Family Service. I was the student liason for Bi-Cultural Hebrew Academy where I helped collect and sort food. And I also helped at 2 local food drives. I felt this was an important project because no one should be without food on their table, especially on a holiday like Passover where we are celebrating our freedom. JFS is still accepting food for their drive and you can learn how to donate in my program.

Friday, April 5, 2019

Interview on JBS, Parts One and Two




Number 1 in Judaism on Amazon!

Number 1 in Judaism on Amazon!





Review on Amazon

April 4, 2019
Format: Paperback
First, I love books written by Rabbi's. I've never read a bad one. Their style of writing incorporates humor (sometimes very dry—without an olive), with lots of insight and wisdom. Mensch*Marks is no exception. Rabbi Joshua Hammerman had me laughing, concerned, prodded to think, and often surprised at his transparent analysis of Judaism: Mensch*Mark 40—Should Jews Turn The Other Cheek? This four page essay of "Looking Evil in the Eye," was an "eye opener" into the Jewish approach to "turning the other cheek" when disaster disrupts a community. The essay gave me pause to consider the Jewish ethos v. Christian ethos. I cannot find fault with either, but lean more toward Rabbi Hammerman's POV based on the precept of teshuvah. He explains why "turning the cheek" denies human contact: "face-to-face where true reconciliation can only occur when two human beings can truly see what is human in the other." There are other thought provoking essays you may or may not agree with, but will certainly expand your mind and possibly your heart.

His sweetest essay, "Hugging, Blessing, Letting Go"...is about his son Dan's Bar Mitzvah and as his son's officiating rabbi and father standing with his son on the bimah, he recollects Dan from the crawling baby to his recent "cherubic voice becoming a subtle rasp" and realizes "with every embrace their must be a release." In the end, the Rabbi father realizes, "Only parents can love children enough to let them go."

Mensch*Marks is a collection of essays spanning the thirty plus years Rabbi Hammerman has spent comforting the sick, coupling the lovers, burying the dead and between his rabbinic duties being a good husband, loving father and simply a human being. His authentic approach has opened my eyes to the rabbi's I study under and perhaps have never seen as simply another human being. He's given me greater respect for their person, for the demands of their rabbinate life and for that, I am grateful.

Mensch*Marks is an amazing book. Each chapter preceded with an explanation of the essay and each part preceded with a quote from A. A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh, each one right-on for the content.

The underlying theme of Mensch*Marks is becoming a good mensch (a person of character) something Hammerman's father instilled in his son. This collection of essay's portray’s Rabbi Hammerman's journey on the menschlichkeit path. He writes, "Today, I have started the process toward becoming a mensch." I'd say he's made his mark.

Shabbat-O-Gram for April 6



Shabbat-O-Gram
 
 
Our fantastic Women's Seder on Tuesday night.
Click here for photo album.



L'Chayim: Josh Hammerman
Part 1 of my appearance on JBS 
Part 2 will be posted on JBS' YouTube channel. 


It was nice to wake up to this on Amazon this morning 
It's also being listed as a #1 New Release in Judaism


Shabbat Shalom

Mazal tov to Samantha Bradley and her family as she becomes Bat Mitzvah here this Shabbat.  She will have the honor of receiving her tree certificate from her grandfather, Fred Golove, a past president of TBE.  This Shabbat is a rarity - a trifecta: Shabbat, Rosh Hodesh Nisan and Shabbat ha-Hodesh - a special Shabbat that typically precedes Passover by about two weeks.  Because of that, we will read from three (count 'em, three) Torahs on Shabbat morning.

Lunar Landmarks
As if perfectly timed for this special new moon, just yesterday Israel just became the 7th country to achieve lunar orbit - so this Shabbat ha-Hodesh, Rosh Hodesh Nisan brings us a "new moon" in more ways than one!  Beresheet is scheduled to make lunar landing next week.  Read more about it here.


 

It's been a very busy week.  Last Sunday's immigration seminar was well attended and extremely informative and fact-based. Click here to see the power point presentation made by Catalina Horak of Building One Community.  

 
On Tuesday, our sold-out Women's Seder was another smash hit.  We had guests from the JCC's Tzahal Shalom program and Muslim women as well.  Where else but TBE can we have a seder where Muslim women interact with Israeli soldiers?  

We'll be continuing the interfaith theme with our annual Interfaith Seder at Grace Farms.  Our theme will be "Forgiveness and Remembrance," and you can read about it and register here.

As we bask in the glow of the Women's Seder, we are saddened at the news that Cantor Fishman has decided not to continue here beyond June 30.  She has brought so much joy with her unique spiritual energy and has touched the lives of so.  Her legacy will be lasting.  As Cantor Fishman, Zarin and Yair prepare to depart, we'll have a number of opportunities to celebrate their time here over the coming few months.  I wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors.

 

As we prepare for Passover, there's a new Haggadah for families that has been selling like Passover hotcakes (aside from the Mrs. Maisel Haggadah, which is being distributed for free by Maxwell House). And that hotcake seller is the Kveller Haggadah, which was co-authored by TBE's own Gabi Birkner! Mazal tov to Gabi!




 

Israel votes next Tuesday.  Read an unbiased guide to the elections, and what the different political parties advocate, from the Israel Democracy Institute, here. 


Check out i-24 on Optimum or online this Tuesday afternoon for full election coverage in English. 

The final polls indicate a tight race for the largest party, but gains for the right wing block. So much depends on which parties do and do not make it over the threshold to get into the Knesset.

In Ha'aretz today, Chemi Shalev listed reasons why Netanyahu will win next week, as well as reasons why Benny Ganz will.  Personally, I find many of his points to be well taken and share his concerns about the future of Israeli democracy.  You can access it here, but since Ha'aretz may not be accessible to those not subscribing, here's an excerpt from it:

If Netanyahu wins, it will be...

1. Because Netanyahu or not, Israel is a right-wing country, and getting more so by the year. Twenty years ago, the number of Israelis who identified as right, left, or center was generally equal, with a slight advantage for the right. In recent years, the proportion of those identifying as right approached 50 percent, while those identifying as left dropped to little more than 10 percent. 

2. Because Netanyahu has been around for so long, Israelis can't imagine life without him. Which means that the thought of replacing him requires a leap of faith, which his chief rival Benny Gantz may have failed to inspire.

3. Because he is more experienced, savvy, manipulative and cunning than any other Israeli politician alive, which could prove to be the clincher among undecided voters. 

4. Because his superpower pals, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, were willing to serve as props in Netanyahu's election campaign, accentuating his diplomatic skills and what he has sold to the Israeli public as his success in managing Israel's foreign affairs.

5. Because the nation-state law prepared the ground for a false but effective dichotomy "with us (the Jews) or with them (the Arabs)." Thus, when Gantz told a visiting Druze delegation shortly after announcing his candidacy that he would amend the law, he opened the way for Netanyahu to brand him as a leftist collaborator with Israeli Arabs, a minority the prime minister has successfully cast as a fifth column in waiting.
6. Because, notwithstanding any other factor, Israeli elections have become increasingly tribal, which translates into automatic loyalty to the tribe, regardless of the faults of its leader. In this election it's not only left vs. right, but also Ashkenazim (Jews of European origin) vs. Mizrahim (Jews of Middle Eastern or North African origin) + Russians, urban Israelis vs. small town Israelis, elites vs. those who see themselves as downtrodden, separators of religion and state vs. the devout and traditional, cherishers of democracy vs. its detractors, champions of equality vs. Jewish supremacists and so on. 

7. Because Netanyahu convinced enough Israelis that Israel's legal system is beholden to his enemies in the media and left, thus neutralizing much of the impact of the attorney general's draft indictment and the other outstanding allegations of wrongdoing against him.

8. Because, as usual, the right lined up behind Netanyahu despite his myriad faults, while the left tore itself apart over each and every minute blemish ascribed to leaders of its constituent parties. 

9. Because the right is motivated by positive ideological zeal and the left by negative frustration and despondence.

10. Because external developments - most notably Trump's election - have confounded the dire predictions of the terrible consequences that would ensue from Netanyahu's refusal to pursue peace or even coexistence with the Palestinians.

11. Because Gantz, with all his qualifications, made enough mistakes to doom his campaign and was dogged by unfavorable comparisons with the charisma and appeal of of his number four, Gabi Ashkenazi.

12. Because democracy cannot immunize a nation from making costly mistakes, which, history shows, could lead to its own demise.

If Netanyahu loses, however, it will be:

1. Because, notwithstanding their responses in the polls, support for Netanyahu collapsed in the final days of the campaign because a spate of new allegations of wrongdoing in the submarine affair and other matters reached a critical mass, pushing Likud voters to stay home and the remaining undecided to take a chance on Gantz.

2. Because, as in the 1999 elections that he lost to Ehud Barak, Netanyahu, with all his political skills, could not overcome the unique appeal of a former commander of Israel's people's army.

3. Because enough Mizrahim were persuaded by his rivals' claim that he was a bigot.

4. Because Netanyahu miscalculated the dynamics of the campaign by making it all about him, thus collecting votes for Likud at the expense of its satellites, thus driving them below the 3.25-percent electoral threshold, thus quashing his chances of forming a right-wing coalition that would keep him in power.

5. Because in a last-minute rush of rationality, Israelis realized the risks posed by Netanyahu's re-election to their democracy, unity and sanity.

6. Because sometimes it's true: Enough is enough.

Finally, something to consider.  Netanyahu is almost certain to be indicted over the coming year, unless he uses this election as a mandate to pass a law that would not allow a sitting prime minister to face indictment (sound familiar?).  Even some of his right wing supporters have said that they will not support such a law or would insist that it not be retroactive to the current case.  Whether or not it is retroactive, I consider such a move as radioactive to democratic values. No one - N-O-O-N-E - should be above the law, in any democratic country.

For practical purposes, though, many Israelis think that a victory for Netanyahu next week would be a short lived one, because once indicted he would have to step down.

Stay tuned... and stay engaged with Israel!  It's the only Jewish state we've got!

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Angry students called this professor ‘disgusting.’ He’s still an optimist. Christian Science Monitor

Honored to have my book quoted in this important article in the Christian Science Monitor: “Seeking kindness in an increasingly cruel landscape, or, at a time of unprecedented mobility, yearning for a sense of rootedness – well, rabbis have a two-millennium head start in dealing with all of these,” writes Rabbi Joshua Hammerman, whose new book “Mensch-Marks,” released on Tuesday, promotes a “nobility in normalcy, especially in these tumultuous times.” “If by sharing what I’ve learned, I can add a modicum of generosity, honesty and human connection in a world overflowing with cruelty, loneliness and deceit, then I’ll have done my job,” Rabbi Hammerman said in a statement


 WHY WE WROTE THIS
Can you love your own group without hating everyone else? A new book, “Blueprint,” which looks at how humans form societies, joins a list of recent titles arguing for hope and optimism.

The questions of his own work are actually kind of similar, says Professor Christakis, whose new book, “Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society,” surveys the ways evolution has shaped human nature and its discontents.
But his book is a “sociodicy,” he says, one that shows how the forces of evolution shaped humans into a species with deeply rooted social instincts and one that is fundamentally good.
“How do we vindicate a belief in the goodness of society despite the fact that, of course, every century is replete with horrors?” he says in an interview. “You know there’s tribalism and violence, there’s selfishness and hatred, all through the world. And nevertheless, in my view, we as human beings create a society that’s good.”
It is in many ways part of a wider genre of recent books that have tried to take on this current era’s relentless “pessimistic gaze,” as Dr. Christakis calls it.
A range of writers, from scientists to political thinkers to clergy and others, have been trying to write “correctives” in the midst of America’s oft-noted angry social divisions and growing political polarization. These range from Arthur C. Brooks’ new book, “Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt” to “I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations,” from Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers, hosts of the podcast “Pantsuit Politics.”
The idea of vindicating goodness in the midst of suffering is at the heart of Dr. Christakis’ analogy between these genres, and the stakes include the subjective and profoundly human perspectives of hope and optimism as opposed to cynicism and despair.
“The benefits of the connected life must have outweighed the costs, or otherwise we wouldn’t live socially,” Dr. Christakis says. “We have been pre-wired to live in a particular way, and it’s a good way,” he says. “It’s full of lives full of love and friendship and cooperation and teaching.”
The word “optimism,” in fact, was first coined to describe – and often mock – a tradition of theodicy. Theologians argued that an all-powerful and perfectly good God could only create “the best of all possible worlds” – so, despite the evils within it, our own world must be the “optimum” of possible worlds.

ARGUING FOR ‘THE BRIGHT SIDE’

Today the scientific community, most American media outlets, and perhaps the majority of people have been overly obsessed with the dark side of our evolutionary heritage, he says, or what some theologians might call instead a primordial “original sin.”
“So I kind of wanted my book to be a corrective,” he continues. “I think the bright side has been denied the attention it deserves.”
And while few are working to justify the ways of God or natural selection and demonstrate how society is fundamentally good, many have been analyzing that current “culture of contempt” and working to exhort Americans to pay more attention to the proverbial “better angels of our nature,” and cultivate the shared humanity and goodness that undergirds our common lives.
“Contempt is kind of a metastatic phenomenon,” Mr. Brooks, a conservative social thinker, told The Daily Signal. “When you treat somebody with contempt, you make a permanent enemy. You just can’t go back from that.”
Mr. Brooks, president of the American Enterprise Institute, offers his own practical correctives to this social illness: cultivating a love and respect for others even in the midst of profound social differences. “We don’t need to disagree less, we need to disagree better,” he said. “And that comes from ... remembering that we’re all brothers and sisters, and we need to persuade each other. And even if we have to not agree, that’s OK, too.”
In different ways, books like “Christians in the Age of Outrage” by the Evangelical scholar Ed Stetzer are urging members of the subculture to step back from expressions of outrage and hostility and present a Christian witness rooted in loving others.
“Seeking kindness in an increasingly cruel landscape, or, at a time of unprecedented mobility, yearning for a sense of rootedness – well, rabbis have a two-millennium head start in dealing with all of these,” writes Rabbi Joshua Hammerman, whose new book “Mensch-Marks,” released on Tuesday, promotes a “nobility in normalcy, especially in these tumultuous times.”  
“If by sharing what I’ve learned, I can add a modicum of generosity, honesty and human connection in a world overflowing with cruelty, loneliness and deceit, then I’ll have done my job,” Rabbi Hammerman said in a statement.
In “Blueprint,” Dr. Christakis cites the work of the Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker, who points out in his recent book “Enlightenment Now” that many don’t realize the enormous social progress of the past few centuries. In the midst of this era’s relentless pessimist gaze, Mr. Pinker argues, few focus on how the efficiencies wrought by science and technology have led to greater life expectancies, fewer wars and fewer violent deaths, and a relative global prosperity that has shrunk the overall rates of poverty and disease.
Such a pessimistic gaze can blur out bedrock strengths of the many people of goodwill who quietly hold together community ties and keep the daily rhythms of everyday life steady.

A POIGNANCY BEHIND THE OPTIMISM

Still, there’s an underlying urgency, and even poignancy, at the heart of the optimism in Dr. Christakis’ sociodicy.
Three and a half years ago he and his wife, Erika Christakis, a scholar of early childhood development, became embroiled in a campus controversy over offensive Halloween costumes and free speech.
A video of an angry group of students confronting Dr. Christakis went viral, and it soon became an emblem of outrage, used manipulatively by many on both the right and left. “I’m sick looking at you....  You are not listening, you are disgusting,” one student told him during the two-hour exchange.
At the time, Dr. Christakis defended the students on Twitter, but he puts the confrontation and the maelstrom that followed on the list of the top 10 worst things that happened in his life. It was especially difficult for his wife, who resigned her position at Yale after the controversy.
Though not addressed, it’s part of the backdrop of “Blueprint.” As he writes, “One of the most dispiriting questions I have encountered in my own laboratory research is whether the affinity people have for their own groups – whether those groups are defined by some attribute (nationality, ethnicity, or religion) or by a social connection (friends or teammates) – must necessarily be coupled with wariness or rejection of others. Can you love your own group without hating everyone else?”
Dr. Christakis builds his sociodicy primarily through telling stories that illustrate what he calls a “social suite” of eight instincts that form the core of human societies. These include the bonds of love for partners and kin, the ability to cooperate, and the ability to form friendships and then social networks of friends.
These bonding instincts rooted in love also include a built-in tension. The “social suite” includes a profound preference for family, friends, and wider “in-groups,” which leads to an “otherization” of those not part of the group.
Yet this “in-group bias” is essential for the larger “good” society the social suite builds. “[Cooperation] is supported not only by the fact that we reliably interact with friends rather than strangers within the face-to-face networks we fashion,” he writes, “but also by the fact that we form groups whose boundaries we enforce by coming to like those within the group more than those outside of it.”
“People everywhere choose their friends and prefer their own groups,” he continues. “In turn, cooperation is a crucial predicate for social learning, one of our species’ most powerful inventions.”
In the early chapters of “Blueprint,” Dr. Christakis examines the social organization of a number of “unintentional communities,” like the survivors of shipwrecks. In some, cliques began to compete and the society disintegrated; in others cooperative instincts prevailed.
In others, he describes the formation of intentional communities, including religious groups like the Shakers, or artificial communities, like online gamers. And while aspects of the “social suite” are always at work, the kinds of societies that can emerge are not always “good,” per se.
“People often think that personality traits such as kindness are fixed,” he writes. “But our research with groups suggests something quite different: the tendency to be altruistic or exploitative may depend heavily on how the social world is organized.”
It’s an irony at the heart of the “optimistic” theodicies, too. Theologians have often argued that there can be no virtue without the reality of vice, no beauty without the facts of chaos, and that no true character can be formed in a life without tests.
All societies, from individual family units to civilizations, are shaped by a swirl of often ambivalent human instincts. But in many ways, “Blueprint” argues, the most enduring societies are those most rooted in love.
“Love is a particularly distinctive human experience,” he writes. “Love also paves the way, evolutionarily speaking, for us to feel a special connection not only to our kin, but also, ultimately, to unrelated individuals.... We form long-term, nonreproductive unions with other humans. This is exceedingly rare in the animal kingdom, but it is universal in us.”
It’s an observation at the heart of his optimism, and Dr. Christakis modifies another theological affirmation to conclude his justification of the ways of natural selection.    
“The arc of our evolutionary history is long,” he writes. “But it bends toward goodness.