Friday, November 8, 2002

Shabbat-O-Gram, Nov. 8, 2002 and Kislev 3, 5763

 Shabbat-O-Gram, Nov. 8, 2002 and Kislev 3, 5763

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman, Temple Beth El, Stamford, Connecticut

J  SHABBAT SHALOM  J

To see what happened on this day in Jewish history, go to http://www.ou.org/about/judaism/bhyom/

Previous Shabbat-O-Grams can now be accessed directly from our web site (www.tbe.org) ALSO, CHECK OUT OUR WEB SITE FOR EXCLUSIVE, NEW PHOTOS OF OUR RECENT SISTERHOOD FASHION SHOW.

JUST THE FACTS: Services and Such

Friday Night:

Candles: 4:23 PM

Services at 7:30 PM   -- Including our 7th grade families, who will be having a dinner together prior to the service.  The service will take place in the sanctuary, which, for one night only, will become the Beth El Genizah.  If you want to know what a Genizah is, you’ll just have to come!

Shabbat Shalom Services with Nurit: 7:15 PM, in the Lobby

Shabbat morning:

Service: 9:30 AM, Children’s services: 10:30 AM

Torah Portion: Toldot (The story of Jacob and Esau, including the Birthright and Blessing incidents)

Read the Masorti commentary at http://www.masorti.org/mason/torah/index.asp. JTS commentary is at: http://learn.jtsa.edu/topics/parashah/. USCJ Torah Sparks can be found at http://uscj.org/item20_467.html. UAHC Shabbat Table Talk discussions are at http://uahc.org/torah/exodus.shtml. Other divrei Torah via the Torahnet home page: http://uahcweb.org/torahnet/. Test your Parasha I.Q.: http://www.ou.org/jewishiq/parsha/default.htm. CLAL's Torah commentary archive: http://click.topica.com/maaaiRtaaRvQhbV2AtLb/.  Nehama Liebowitz archives of parsha commentaries: http://www.torahcc.org/nechama/gilayonarchives.htm.  For a more Kabbalistic/Zionist perspective from Rav Kook, first Chief Rabbi of Israel, go to http://www.geocities.com/m_yericho/ravkook/index.html

Mazal Tov to Andy Granowitz, who becomes Bar Mitzvah this Shabbat Morning

Mazal Tov to Jay and Denise Freiberg, on the naming of their daughter Hannah Lauryn, (also to Beth El grandparents Phyllis and George Heller).

Mincha Havdalah service: 4:00 PM

Mazal Tov to Michael Rich who becomes Bar Mitzvah this Shabbat afternoon.

Morning MinyanDaily at 7:30 AM, Sunday at 9AM

 

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Spiritual Journey on the Web: 11/9, 9/11 and 11/11

 

November 9-10 is the annual commemoration of Kristallnacht, which took place in 1938, and which many believe to be the watershed event that was the true beginning of the Holocaust.  When the world failed to respond to this pogrom against the Jews, Hitler knew that he could get away with much more.  To read more about Kristallnacht, go to http://wlc.ushmm.org/wlc/article.jsp?ModuleId=10005201 and  http://www.ushmm.org/kristallnacht/, both at the site of the US Holocaust Museum, and at the Jewish Virtual Library site, http://www.us-israel.org/jsource/Holocaust/kristallnacht.html.  

 

At http://www.remember.org/fact.fin.kristal.html, we discover that “The term `Kristallnacht' referred to the fact that the shards of glass from the thousands of broken windows glittered like crystal in the streets.  In that way, it has become easy to draw parallels between 11/9 and 9/11, when streets again were littered by the broken glass caused by fanatic hatred run amok.   An interesting twist on this comparison, by a Moslem complaining of groundless hatred toward his co-religionsists, can be found at http://www.mediamonitors.net/elmasry30.html. He writes, ‘Analogies are being made to the representation of the Jews in such early twentieth century literature as "Mein Kampf," where gross exaggeration and dehumanization proved to be fatally dangerous for more than six million of them. What, then, could be the parallel consequences for Muslims? German academic Gunther Grass states that such beliefs about Islam in the West and the current climate of hate against it bring us very close to a situation not unlike that which prompted Germany's infamous "Kristallnacht" in 1938. Once "the enemy" has been so dehumanized and portrayed as demonic and parasitical, what further justification is needed to persecute and finally exterminate it?’

 

I have no problem seeing Kristallnacht as a day for all nations to reflect on the dangers of all manners of intolerance, as long as we don’t forget the historical uniqueness of the Holocaust and anti-Semitism. If you go to the United Against Racism web site (stop first at http://www.united.non-profit.nl/pages/info98n9.htm) and check out the November calendar you’ll find that, indeed, November 9 has become an important annual reminder of the fight against fascism.  At http://www.united.non-profit.nl/pages/act02n9.htm you’ll see an extensive list of activities going on throughout Europe this weekend.  To some extent it seems as if November 9 is becoming a secondary Yom Hashoah to Europeans.

This weekend is also Veterans Day.  A comprehensive list of Veterans Day links is found at http://members.aol.com/veterans/warlib69.htm.  At the National Museum for American Jewish Military History, http://www.nmajmh.org/, you can find profiles of Jewish War veterans as part of their new Yahrzeit program.  For today, the site commemorates the Yahrzeit of Irving Anton, Max Paul and Sandford Cohen.  It is a moving, living memorial to these heroes, and a nice way to give renewed meaning to this often neglected holiday. 

Of course, it wasn’t always called Veterans Day.   In 1918, World War I ended on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.  An armistice was signed declaring the "war to end all wars" was finally over. The next year, on November 11th, the US called the day Armistice Day.  But this holiday was not recalled fondly in Germany in 1938 – it was a tangible reminder of that nation’s humiliation both in war and at the peace table subsequently at Versailles.  With this humiliation so omnipresent in the German consciousness, it may not have been a complete coincidence for the bloody pogrom of Kristallnacht to have taken place just then.  They could have chosen any pretext at any time.  The time they chose was “erev” (the eve before) November 11.

 

And just as they failed to heed the warnings of Versailles, 1918, the nations of the world failed to heed the warnings of 1938.  How nice to think that the UN is at this moment deliberating about Iraq and the next phase of this endless war-to-end-all wars.

 

 

Required Reading and Action Items

 

Poll: Erudite Americans Increasingly Back Israel
American public support for Israel in the ranks of America's most educated, most informed citizens has risen for the first time since the current round of Palestinian-Israeli violence began two years ago, according to a national poll conducted by ISRAEL21c and The Israel Project. The poll found that 50 percent of "opinion leaders" identify themselves as supporters of Israel, compared to 42 percent in July. The poll also showed an increase in the percentage of respondents who base their support for Israel on its status as a democracy, and who have a "warm" feeling toward the Jewish state. (New York Jewish Week)

Finally!  Suicide Bombing de-legitimized – Read the Human Rights Watch report at : http://www.humanrightswatch.org/press/2002/11/isrl-pa1101.htm] See also Suicide Attacks Are War Crimes, Targeted Killings Aren't - David B. Rivkin, Jr., Lee A. Casey, and Darin R. Bartram (Jerusalem Post) Equating the victims of suicide bombings with Palestinian civilians killed during Israeli military operations is utterly without foundation in international law

With the dissolution of Israel’s governing coalition, the media has had a field day promoting all sorts of sensationalist ideas. The primary target is new Israeli Defense Minister Shaul Mofaz, who Reuters describes as "known for harsh tactics" and "his readiness to use crushing military force" against Palestinians. http://honestreporting.com/a/r/313.asp

 

U.S. Warns Companies Over Israel Boycott
"The Commerce Department is closely monitoring efforts that appear to be made to reinvigorate the Arab boycott of Israel and will use all of its resources to vigorously enforce U.S. anti-boycott regulations," said Undersecretary of Commerce for Industry and Security Kenneth Juster. U.S. laws ban the participation by U.S. nationals and companies in unsanctioned foreign government trade boycotts, especially the Arab League's boycott of Israel. The Department of Commerce has issued more than $26m in fines and turned down export licenses to those found violating the law. (BBC)

 

Israel Faces Rampant Discrimination at the UN

 

Interview with Ariel Sharon (London Times)  Sharon regards Iraq as "a very, very dangerous country led by an insane regime" (he then asks an aide in Hebrew if there is a stronger word than "insane"). "We will support every decision that will be taken by President Bush and his ally, Prime Minister Blair, because we know maybe better than others the dangers of terror: global terror, regional terror, and local terror."

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-avineri3nov03001512,0,5238416.story?coll=la%2Dnews%2Dcomment%2Dopinions  (registration required) Avineri article

U.S. Elections 2002: Congress Remains Pro-Israel
A predominance of pro-Israel lawmakers retained their seats, and several new faces emerged, many of whom pro-Israel officials called promising. A senior pro-Israel official said he expected the 108th Congress to be even more supportive of Israel than the outgoing body. (JTA)

May I Have My Bomb Back?
Ian Rimell, a 52-year-old Brit, is an explosive-ordnance-disposal expert working with a Scandinavian-funded de-mining team that has cleared thousands of "improvised terrorist devices" from Jenin. "We found 4668 items, of which 804 were live," Ian says. Ian's team gets called all the time by "people who are not happy about things...like two-meter-long pipe bombs planted in the road near their houses." "And there were instances when guys with guns would show up and demand their bombs back," says Ian. (Village Voice)

 

Iran Bans Advertising for U.S. Goods

 

The Binational Option - Meron Benvenisti
A growing number of articles and analyses by Palestinians and their supporters are warning that the "two states for two peoples" option is fading, and the goal of a Palestinian state should be exchanged for the establishment of a binational state - a plan that would mean full Israeli annexation of the territories. (Ha'aretz)

 

Work for Peace by Riding the Buses - Gerald M. Steinberg
The images of peace campaigners getting on and off the buses in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, and other places, and taking the same risks that Israelis take every day, will send a powerful message to the bombers and their supporters. By visibly riding the buses, international peace advocates can also contribute to saving lives. (International Herald Tribune)

The Case of the Missing Reform Movement - Barry Rubin (Jerusalem Post)

  • Yasser Arafat has killed off the Palestinian reform movement with the greatest of ease. The Palestinian legislature's much-touted refusal to approve his cabinet collapsed the moment he made tiny changes in its composition.
  • As much as they might grumble, the secondary leaders will not try to replace him no matter how many catastrophes he leads them into.
  • Activists in both Hamas and Fatah still believe in the prospect of victory over Israel through the systematic use of terrorism. They think that attacking its civilians will make Israel withdraw from the West Bank unilaterally or bring international intervention to hand them a state without any compromise on their part. The extent of Palestinian human or material losses is made to seem irrelevant to them. Steadfastness will bring victory,
  • Other Palestinian leaders, and the general public, dare not speak out because Arafat and the radicals still dominate their world view and set the permissible options. The PLO, Fatah, the media, the educational system, and other Palestinian institutions - all controlled by Arafat and his lieutenants - still overwhelmingly preach a hard line. From every direction Palestinians are told that Israel does not want peace and that the U.S. is their enemy.

 

 

The Snipers: Crazy or Jihadis?y Daniel Pipes New York Post October 29, 2002 http://www.danielpipes.org/article/493

http://www.nypost.com/postopinion/opedcolumnists/60763.htm

http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0702/euro_kosher.asp Fear over European Kosher bans Trend of countries outlawing ritual slaughter in name of animal rights tied to 'a hatred for Jewish life,' says Israeli minister.

Saddam's Brain - The Ideology Behind the Thuggery David Brooks
Saddam's speeches since 1968 have a consistent ideological, pseudo-intellectual character, with a layer of Islamist rhetoric added in the past decade. He has always presented the Arabs as the master race, whose history and accomplishments are glorious. He has always had a mystical belief in self-purification through violence, the notion that the soul is elevated through warfare and killing. In dealing with Saddam, then, we are not dealing with a normal thug or bully, but with a missionary. The ideology of Baathism calls for relentless struggle, ever-widening conflict, until some ideal culmination of history is achieved. (Weekly Standard)

 

SHOP ISRAEL FOR HANUKKAH – SOME NEW OPPORTUNITIES:

 

The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism has added an exciting new link to its website (www.uscj.orgthat will help make buying gifts from Israel a “one-click” process. Simply visit our homepage and click the “All for Israel” icon (shown above), which appears directly beneath our teal menu bar.  As we’re sure you’ll agree, www.allforisrael.com offers a wide variety of first-rate Israeli gift items. If you can’t visit Israel this year, you can still support her economy and buy beautiful gifts for friends and loved ones. This site is sure to become a favorite!

 

New website to sell only 100% Israeli products; Israeli charities to benefit
Bet Shemesh, Israel -- A national campaign is being launched today in the United States to help struggling Israeli manufacturers and businesses whose main clientele were tourists who have stopped visiting Israel since the start of the now two-year-old intifada.
The new website, www.onlyisraeli.com, enables concerned Americans to heighten support for these companies by purchasing their products via the Internet. Unlike other initiatives, the website will only offer products completely manufactured in Israel (thus enhancing Israel's job market as well).In addition, 10 percent of the proceeds from every sale will be donated to an Israeli-based charity. Customers can chose from a list including Magen David Edom, Zaka, or Israels Children Cancer Foundation.The products offered are identical to those in Israeli stores, so prices are highly competitive when compared to similar items sold in the United States. By the end of this year the products of more than 50 manufacturers will be featured.  Items featured include artwork, judaica, silver, Dead Sea mineral products, music, and more. The site will not feature products that are even partially created out of Israel. Many of the companies featured are deeply rooted in Israel, dating back to the country's founding 54 years ago. Until now, they never had to focus on exports because customers had always come to them. And now they need help.
 

 

Quotes of the Week: 

 

“I believe I will have to lead this nation still for several years to give answers and solutions to the issue of security, to the issue of the political process, [the] economy…I am going to run for the next elections. I am 74 years old. I don’t have any further political ambitions. What can one have more than to be Prime Minister of the Jewish people?…I have decided to dedicate those several years [leading the nation] to try and accomplish the goals that I have elaborated, before I go back to the farm to take care of the cattle, to ride the horses, to milk the sheep, to work on a tractor in the fields.”—P.M. Ariel Sharon communicating that in the unlikely event that he loses the leadership of his party, he has an exit strategy in place for his retirement years. (London Times, Nov. 5)

 

“Sharon has one thing in common with the elderly, the unemployed, and residents of development towns: They both have survival in mind. But for them, survival means finding work, getting by for a month. For him, survival means a daily dose of political tricks. No candidate of the Left can beat Sharon or [Binyamin Netanyahu], except me, because people see me as a second Likud.”—Former Defense Minister and Labor party leader contender, Binyamin Ben-Eliezer (Jerusalem Post, Nov. 6)

 

“U.S. President George W. Bush's 'roadmap' for peace in the Middle East [which includes the establishment of a Palestinian state by 2005] will not be on the next government's agenda.”--Former prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, sworn in today as the foreign minister in P.M. Sharon’s new government. (Jer. Post, Nov. 6)

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

This Thanksgiving: Talk Turkey, But Think Matzah!

 

On this Thanksgiving Day (which is also the weekend of Hanukkah), as you gather with your families to spin dreidels and talk turkey, please take a few moments to think about that next great family gathering on the calendar: Passover.

 

We are, for the first time, considering having a congregational Second Seder.  Over the years people have been asking for it – now it actually may happen.  The idea is that we all go to our family seders on the first night, and then bring the extended family to Beth El on the second night (April 17), for a community seder led by Rabbi Hammerman and Cantor Jacobson and coordinated by our sisterhood, with active participation by all.  It would be a hassle-free catered event, with costs kept as low as possible, but realistically in the “double chai” range for adults.  It would be incredible fun, with games for the kids and lots of great singing and discussion, fostering a feel of real community.  It would also be of assistance to those (and there are many) who have no family in the area and no Seder to go to. 

 

This type for program requires lots planning and early commitments to the caterer.  So we have to know very soon whether there is enough interest for this to be a “go.”  Thanksgiving/Hanukkah presents a perfect chance to discuss this with your family.  So, talk it over, then let us know by Dec. 13.  Thanks, and a Zissen… I mean a Happy Hanukkah!

 

Cut and Paste this and e-mail to rabbi@tbe.org

 

NAME _______________________________________________

 

TELEPHONE NUMBER AND E-MAIL ADDRESS ______________________________________________

 

_____ I AM SOMEWHAT INTERESTED IN ATTENDING A COMMUNITY SEDER

_____ I AM VERY INTERESTED IN ATTENDING A COMMUNITY SEDER

____ APPROXIMATE NUMBER WHO WOULD BE ATTENDING FROM YOUR IMMEDIATE AND EXTENDED FAMILY

_____ I THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA AND WOULD LIKE TO HELP PLAN IT!

 

 

ADULT EDUCATION ONGOING CLASSES

 

The Accessible Talmud

with Barb Moskow

 

     In this introductory course, we will spend the first session cracking the secrets of Talmud study before moving on to actual text study.  Each subsequent week will feature a different text, illuminating the diverse styles and ideas represented by sages.  Knowledge of Hebrew, Aramaic, Old French and the ability to read Rashi script Not Required!  We will utilize the Steinsaltz English edition of the Talmud for our studies.

 

DATES:  November 14, 21, December 5, 12

TIME:  7:00 p.m.- 8:00 p.m.

 

“What’s a Nice People like the Jews

Doing in a Mess Like This?”

with Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

 

     This class will trace the roots of the Israeli Arab conflict, with a special focus on understanding the various streams of Zionism. A historical exploration, using video and text, of how the Jewish people returned to Israel and how they coped with what they found when they got there. The class will also discuss ways to become informed advocates for Israel (making the case forcefully and with historical background) while also understanding the nuances, complex, and tragic nature of “the situation.”

 

 

DATES:  November 14, 21, December 5, 12

TIME:  8:00 p.m.- 9:00 p.m.

 

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Hanukkah Concert

Nov. 24 @ 4:00 PM

Fun for all ages, as we get ready for the holiday

a musical celebration, and lots more (with a dreidel spinning contest too!)

With our Junior and Adult Choirs

Led by Cantor Deborah Jacobson.

Accompanied by Simona Frenkel on keyboard & piano

and Nurit Avigdor on guitar and vocals.

Potato latkes, sufganiyot (jelly donuts), cookies & drinks.

Raffle Drawing (CD players and much much more)!

A gift for every child to take home!

 

DON’T MISS IT!   

 

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CABARET

A Night of Magic and Comedy

Saturday, November 16, 2002

8:00 pm—Meet and Mingle

Open Bar with wine and soft drinks

Wandering Magicians

Comedic Skits by Ensemble Studio Workshop

 

The Main Act:

The Magical Duo-George Schindler & Nina

 

A Surprise Finale-- Starring Cantor Deborah Jacobson

 

Temple Beth El

Followed by Ice Cream and Dessert Buffet

Desserts by Thyme for Kosher

 

RSVP by November 5

For Information on Ticket Prices--- Contact the Temple Office or

Check the Website

 

 

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AN EVENING OF MUSIC AND TANGO

Tuesday, November 19, 2002
7:30pm at Rich Forum in Stamford, CT.


Sponsored by the Jewish Federations of Fairfield County

Attend a benefit concert for Argentinean Jews.
Proceeds will fund JDC (Joint Distribution Committee) hunger and social
service programs at 70 welfare centers in Argentina.


Tickets available @ $100  per person.
Available through the Greenwich UJA/Federation at 552-1818.

($1,000 and higher levels includes multiple tickets and post performance
dessert reception.)

Program for the evening includes performances by:

The Jerusalem Great Synagogue Choir under the baton of conductor Eli Jaffe
The renowned Raul Juarena Tango Band and dancers
Argentine Soprano Raquel Mendelsohn
Local Cantors including Cantor Deborah Jacobson from our synagogue

The current crisis involves 200,000 Jews currently live in Argentina - the
5th largest Jewish community in the world.

       - 60,000 Jews live below the poverty line and are unemployed.
       - 70% of small businesses owned by Jews have closed.
  - Thousands are homeless and on food rations.

*Because of this important community event, the November 19th meeting for the Women of the Book group has been canceled.  Instead of seeing a video on December 17th, the group will discuss the book “Bee Season.”

 

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Congregational Shabbat Dinner

Friday, November 22nd

6:00 p.m.

Sponsored by the Religious School & Sisterhood

RSVP to the Religious School office 322-6901, ext. 306.

Followed by: Family Friday Night Service

7:30 p.m.

Featuring our Junior Choir

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And save the date for our

HOMECOMING SHABBAT

AS WE WELCOME BACK ALL OUR COLLEGE STUDENTS

Shabbat morning, Nov. 30 @ 9:30

RSVP if you (or your collegian) will be there --we’re ordering special Hanukkah gifts

 

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The Fourth Commandment: Remember the Sabbath Day
By Francine Klagsbrun
Talking to God: Prayers for Times of Joy, Sadness, Struggle, and Celebration,                  By Naomi Levy

Wednesday, Nov. 20 • 7:30 p.m. Temple Beth El

In The Fourth Commandment and Talking to God, authors Klagsbrun and Levy, leading women of Conservative Judaism, share their thoughts on Judaism’s most important events. Francine Klagsbrun is a columnist in Moment magazine and the author of several books on Jewish practice and ethics. Naomi Levy is one the first female Rabbis of the Conservative movement and is the author several books on Jewish spirituality and healing after tragedy.  This program ispart of the JCC’s Jewish Book Festival series and co-sponsored by Temple Beth El

 

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Learning & Latte”

A series of monthly dialogues hosted by Borders

Tuesday, November 26th at 7:30 P.M.

 

JOURNEYS THROUGH GENESIS

This Month:  The Temptation of Adam and Eve

 

Groundbreaking conversations led by

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman of Temple Beth El

and the Rev. Dr. Douglas McArthur, Senior Pastor

of the First United Methodist Church

 

 

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TEMPLE BETH EL LEARNER’S MINYAN

 

n     DO YOU PANIC WHEN CALLED UP FOR AN ALIYAH?

n     DO YOU WONDER WHY WE SAY THE AMIDA TWICE?

n     DO YOU THINK THAT A HAFTARAH IS “HALF A TORAH?”

WELL, WONDER NO MORE!  IT’S BACK, BUT AT A NEW TIME

JOINBARB MOSKOW IN THE LIBRARY

NOVEMBER 16, 2002

10:30 AM – 11:30 AM

 

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YJP and the Stamford Jewish Community are promoting the following:

JCC Maccabi Xperience Israel Programs (JMAX) and

Birthright Israel want to give YOU a GIFT:

FREE trip to Israel for 10 days

Who can go? YOU, if:

 

● you are Jewish

● you are between 18 – 26

● you haven’t traveled to Israel before with a peer-educational group.

 

Registration deadline is November 30, 2002

Expected departure is January 5, 2003

For more information contact Dan Rozett at 203.322.7900 ext. 142 or drozett@stamfordjcc.org You can also go to www.jccmaccabix.org for additional information

 

 

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YOUTH ACTIVITIES

 

Kesher (3-5) overnight at TBE

Sunday Nov.10

 

Atid (K-2) Hanukkah Gift-Making Day

Sunday Nov. 17

1-3 PM

 

USY Regional Fall Kinnus 2002

Camp Isabella Friedman

November 22-24

 

USY (9-12) and Kadima (6-8)

DINNER AND SERVICE

Friday, November 15th

6-8:30 PM

 

 

 

And now, some more humor – thanks to Diane Gold for forwarding this version of a comedy classic:

 

ABBOTT & COSTELLO LEARN HEBREW, by  Rabbi Jack Moline


   ABBOTT: I see you’re here for your Hebrew lesson.
   COSTELLO: I’m ready to learn.

        A:  Now, the first  thing you must understand is that  Hebrew and English  have many words which  sound alike, but they do not mean the same thing.
        C:  Sure, I  understand.
   A:  Now, don’t be too quick to say that.
        C:  How stupid do you  think I am?  Don’t answer that. It’s  simple -some  words in Hebrew sound like words  in English, but they don’t mean the same.
        A:  Precisely.
        C:  We have that word  in English, too. What does it
              mean in Hebrew?
        A:  No, no.  Precisely is an English word.
        C:  I didn’t come here to learn English, I came to
               learn Hebrew. So start with the Hebrew.
        A: Fine. Let’s start with mee.
        C:  You?
 A:  No, mee.
        C:  Fine, we’ll start with you.
        A:  No, we’ll start with mee.
        C:  Okay, have it your way.
     A:  Now, mee is who.
        C:  You is Abbott.
        A:  No, no, no.  Mee is who.
        C:  You is Abbott.
        A:  You don’t understand.
        C:  I don’t understand? Did you just say me is who?
        A:  Yes I did. Mee is who.
        C:  You is Abbott.
   A:  No, You misunderstand what I am saying. Tell me
               about mee.
        C:  Well, you’re a nice enough guy.
        A:  No, no. Tell me about mee!
        C:  Who?
        A:  Precisely.
   C:  Precisely what?
        A:  Precisely who.
        C:  It’s precisely whom!
        A:  No, mee is who.
        C:  Don’t start that again. Go on to something else.
        A:  All right. Hu is he.
 C:  Who is he?
        A:  Yes.
        C:  I don’t know. Who is he?
        A:  Sure you do.  You just said it.
        C:  I just said what?
        A:  Hu is he.
        C:  Who is he?
        A:  Precisely.
        C:  Again with the precisely! Precisely who?
   A:  No, precisely hee.
        C:  Precisely he? Who is he?
     A:  Precisely!
        C:  And what about me?
        A:  Hu.
 C:  Me, me, me!
        A:  Hu, hu, hu!
        C:  What are you, an owl? Me! Who is me?
        A:  No, hu is he!
        C:  I don’t know. Maybe  he is me!
        A:  No, hee  is she!
        C:  (STARES AT  ABBOTT) Do his parents know about this?
        A:  About what?
        C:  About her!
        A:  What about her?
        C:  That she is he!
        A:  No, you’ve got it wrong. Hee is she!
     C:  Then who is he?
        A:  Precisely!
        C:  Who?
   A:  He!
        C:  Me?
        A:  Hu!
        C:  He?
        C:  She!
        C:  Who is she?
        A:  No, hu is he.
        C:  I don’t care who is  he, I want to know who is she?
   C:  No, that’s not  right.
        C:  How can it  not be right? I said it. I was  standing
              here when I said it,  and I know me.
 A:  Hu.
        C:  Who?
        A:  Precisely!
        C:  Me! Me is that he you are talking about! He is me!
        A:  No, hee is she!
        C:  Wait a Minute, wait a minute! I’m trying to learn
 a little Hebrew,  and  now I can’t even speak
               English.  Let me review.
        A:  Go ahead.
        C:  Now first you want to know me is who.
        A:  Correct.
        C:  And then you say who is he.
        A:  Absolutely.
        C:  And then you tell me he is she.
A & C:  Precisely!
        C:  Now look at this logically. If me is who. And
              who is he.  And he is she.  Don’t it stand to
              reason that me is she?
        A:  Who?
        C: She!
        A:  That is he!
        C:  Who is he?
A & C:  Precisely!
        C:  I have just about had it. You have me confused
              I want to go home.  You  know what I want? Ma!
        A:  Hu.
        C:  I said Ma.
        A:  What.
 C:  What are you, deaf? I want Ma!
        A: What!
        C:  Not what, who!
        A:  He!
        C:  Not he! Ma is not he!
 A:  Of course not! Hu is he!
        C:  I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t
              care who is he, he  is  she, me is who, ma is what.
              I just want to go home now and play with my  dog.
        A:  Fish.
        C:  Fish?
        A:  Dag is fish.
        C:  That’s all, I’m outa here.

 

 

 

 

 

The Web link for this week's Shabbat-O-Gram is - http://www.tbe.org/sog/021108.htm - The site is continually updated during the week with corrections and additions.  Feel free to forward this link to your friends. People can subscribe to the weekly Shabbat-o-Gram at www.tbe.org.   I also send out mailings to college students, Gen Xers and teens, so let us know if you wish to be placed on any of those lists.  If you wish to unsubscribe, contact office@tbe.org.  

 

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