On One Foot: Joshua Hammerman's Blog

Author of "Embracing Auschwitz" and "Mensch•Marks: Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi - Wisdom for Untethered Times." Winner of the Rockower Award, the highest honor in Jewish journalism and 2019 Religion News Association Award for Excellence in Commentary. Musings of a rabbi, journalist, father, husband, poodle-owner, Red Sox fan and self-proclaimed mensch, taken from essays, columns, sermons and thin air. Writes regularly in the New York Jewish Week and Times of Israel.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Ebola and Fear Itself, America-Israel "Fowl" Language, Challah-ween, Voting, a Jewish Duty Shabbat O Gram

Mazal tov to Tyler Pomerance and Ashley Shapiro and their families, as they become b’nai mitzvah this Shabbat morning and afternoon, respectively! I’m looking forward to seeing them this evening too. BTW, join us tonight and you may hear a popular Kabbalat Shabbat prayer chanted in a manner that you’ve never heard before! Plus, Challah-ween candy for the kids.

Speaking of which, our Shabbat programming is about to take a great leap forward. You’ll be reading more about it in the upcoming bulletin, but to whet your appetite, click here to see our schedule of November and December events. Note that next Friday night before services at 6:30 we’ll be hosting a wine and cheese for young couples and young professionals (and any combination thereof). Just show up – and we’ll feed you!

To clean up some old business: See – this thank you note from Person to Person which I received following the collection of over 1000 bags of food by the Jewish community these past High Holidays (by far the largest percentage coming from TBE, as usual). See also last week’s stirring b’nai mitzvah commentaries from Hannah Nekritz and Micayla Roth and, for those looking for mitzvah projects for upcoming b’nai mitzvah or who simply want to know how to do some good in the world, check out The Good People Fund Annual Report. It will warm your heart to see some of the creative philanthropic and volunteer endeavors going on here, in Israel and beyond.

Plans are also taking shape for next summer’s TBE Israel Adventure – and an organizational meeting with the tour coordinator on Wed. November 12 at 8 PM. Click here for up to date itinerary and pricing information. Also, let me know if you might be interested in an additional, shorter, solidarity and informational trip to Israel (not geared to families for first timers) this coming year.

Finally, we are co-sponsors for the closing event of this year’s Jewish Arts and Film Festival, this Sunday evening. See details about what is said to be a very moving film here, called “Under the Same Sun.”

Challah-ween, Ebola and UNICEF

As I wrote last week, I’m of the “If you can’t beat ‘em, make it a Jewish experience” school regarding Halloween. Normally that’s no problem. When it occurs on Friday night, thus colliding with Shabbat, it offers great challenges for some and opportunities for me. Especially this year.

So tonight, join us for our Kabbalat Shabbat service at 7:30. There will be blood…I mean candy. And I’ll refer to some of the most ghoulish moments in Jewish history, But I promise that I will not wear my “Sexy Rabbi” Halloween costume.

Here are some suggestions for those wishing to make Challa-ween a more Jewish experience:

How about making a number of little bags of say -- * a chocolate bar or nuts and raisins ("ruzhinkas und

mandlen," as the Yiddish song says);

* plus a small check made out ahead of time to UNICEF or another tzedakah (American Jewish World Service?), endorsed "Payable to acct only", plus an envelope addressed there (but with no stamp);

* plus a little photocopied note with a brief explanation of the work the organization does and an explanation that it's up to the kid to write in her/his own return address, put on a stamp, and send it.

The visiting kid then not only gets a sweet but also gets to understand at least a little bit of what tzedakah/ "charity" is; becomes responsible to send the check in; and gets the thank-you card from the tzedakah.

If your kids would enjoy the costumed walk around the neighborhood but because of Shabbat you don't want them receiving "treats," you could --

* figure out a time to walk either before or after family Shabbat celebration or our services;

* give the kids a pre-written IOU from you for x amount of pleasant special small food treats to be provided during the next week;

* and ask them to set aside tzedakah $$ from their own money.

The walk and costumes are then for sheer fun. "Practice for Purim!"

UNICEF AND EBOLA

Click on the UNICEF site to see some of the important things UNICEF is doing this year to stop Ebola at its source. See the Youtube video. The Ebola outbreak in West Africa is the deadliest in history. More than 13,000 cases have been reported since March, and nearly 5,000 people have died. Children are Ebola's most vulnerable victims. At least 3,700 children have been orphaned, many of them shunned by their communities. UNICEF is at work across West Africa-airlifting supplies, training health workers and caring for children and families. Text Ebola to 864233 to donate $10 to @UNICEFUSA and help save lives.

UNICEF has long since gotten past the accusations of anti-Semitism that cloud so much of what takes place at the UN. In fact, I received the information I am forwarding from the New York Board of Rabbis. But if you are looking toward helping using a Jewish organization, the American Jewish World Service also has an emergency campaign going on right now.

Ebola scares us, but it also unites people around the world – the disease does not distinguish between Jew and Muslim, American and African. It is threat to us all. It threatens our health, and our humanity too. It threatens our health, and our humanity too. We need to place the threat into perspective and not let panic overwhelm our compassion. But most of all, we need to eliminate that threat.

We can #StopEbola, but we need to act now.

Voting: A Jewish Duty

See this piece by David Markus on why it is a Jewish duty to vote next Tuesday. Why?

First, government is important. As in ancient days, we “pray for government’s welfare, for without fear of it [we] would swallow each other alive” (M. Avot 3:2). The duty to create and support government is one of the few duties that Jewish law recognizes for all, Jew and non-Jew alike (B.T. Sanhedrin 56a). To Maimonides (1135-1204), the purpose is to ensure public order (Mishneh Torah, Melachim 9:14); to Nachmanides (1194-1270), the purpose extends to include all social welfare (comm. B.T. Avodah Zara 4a). Public safety, health, social equity, the rule of law – the very fabric of modern life in an interdependent world –today require wise, effective and democratically accountable government as never before. Second, Jewish tradition views government as a human partnership with God. Click here to read the rest.

Fowl Language between America and Israel

In the face of the unprecedented public display of animosity between the Obama and Netanyahu leadership teams, the next several weeks are not going to be easy ones for American Jews. We are going to be expected to choose sides. But the majority of Jews, I suspect, wish a plague on both houses for their reckless abandonment of sanity, which has descended to the use of “fowl” language by an unnamed American official, at a time when the world screams for levelheadedness. The slur, reported by Jeffrey Goldberg in the Atlantic, has been rightly condemned by Jewish organizations and American officials, including Sec of State Kerry. Things are bad, and they are getting worse at precisely the time when America and Israel need to be walking in lockstep – as the November 24 deadline approaches in the negotiations over Iran’s nuclear capacities. I about this on my Times of Israel blog: Centrist Quandary: Iran Ennobler or Settlement Enabler?

Shabbat Shalom, and don’t forget to “fall back” on Saturday night.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Hannah Nekritz on Noah

Shabbat Shalom!

My Torah portion discusses Noah and the ark. It also discusses other interesting aspects of this story. For instance, in the beginning of my portion, the Torah states that Noah was righteous as well as blameless in his time. I thought this was really interesting as it doesn’t necessarily mean that Noah was a good man.

This situation could have gone one of two ways. In the first scenario, Noah is a mensch who cares for others and for the earth. Or, Noah’s goodness might have been relative to other people’s behavior at that time. If they were all cruel, selfish and full of greed and Noah behaved just a little better than them, he could have been considered good in his time.

But to be any kind of good for his generation, Noah had to be able to think out of the box and take a leap of faith. After all, it’s not easy to feed every species of animal that ever existed. There is a midrash claiming that Noah did not sleep when he was in the ark. Instead, he rushed around feeding every animal what it normally ate when it normally ate. It takes a lot of creativity to keep such a schedule and to keep all the animals happy – and it takes a lot of faith to believe that eventually the rain would stop and there would be dry land.

Over the last three years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking out of the box just like Noah. I’ve been part of “Odyssey of the Mind,” which is an international problem solving and creativity competition. My Odyssey team has done really well, winning twice in the state competition.

Last year, we performed a skit with a great message that reminded me of this Torah portion. Our characters were selected to save the earth by doing something never done before. They traveled inside a super creative boy (by ice cube instead of ark) and returned his brain to its normal state, before his power threatened the future of the world.

Noah also had to save the world from danger, but in this case it had gone much farther. It wasn’t just one dangerous person, it was everyone. So the answer there was to build an ark, instead of an ice cube.

If Noah had been in in Odyssey of the Mind, he might have used spontaneous problem solving to do some things a little differently on the ark. For instance, he could have built the world’s first conveyor belt to bring food all around the ark. That way, he could get some sleep.

Does anyone else have any ideas?

He also could have built a play area and spent time every day playing with the animals, just like I do.

Some of you know that I spend time at the Stamford Nature Center volunteering on the farm with the animals. I feed them, give them hay, groom and walk them. I like horses and goats and must admit that I even have a soft spot for seven little piglets – if I’m allowed to say that in temple! So on the ark; I would care for all of them.

Judaism cares a lot about animals too. In fact, there is a whole category of Jewish law directed towards animals, called Tza’ar ba’alay chayyim. There are lots of important laws about this. Did you know that Jewish law states that you shouldn’t eat before you feed your pet?

When I think about Noah, while it’s true that he wasn’t necessarily the most righteous, anyone who was so kind to animals is a good man in my eyes. It’s no small thing to save every species you can think of. Had Noah failed in this mission, I would be volunteering at a very empty farm.

For my mitzvah project, I’m doing something that Noah also did. He adopted a couple of dogs, and I am collecting toys and food and making donations to “Adopt a Dog,” an organization that takes care of dogs and cats that have been abandoned or given up. Please drop off any donations in my Dog House upstairs. I will be bringing my donations over soon and welcome anyone who would like to come with me and learn more about this organization and how well they fit in the Noah theme.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary; Micayla Roth on Lech Lecha

Shabbat Shalom!

I have this crazy thing…. I always wear mismatched socks.

I have no idea how it started. I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember. Whenever the laundry is done, and the socks come out, I mismatch them.

Most of my friends know about this. On crazy socks day, when everyone else is wearing mismatching socks, I’ll wear matching socks, inside out.

I’m not sure why I do it, it’s just something I’ve done every day - a ritual, like lighting Chanukah candles or saying the Sh’ma. When you do something over and over, it becomes a part of you.

I’ve learned some things about myself from this ritual. For one thing, I always plan ahead about what I’m going to wear on my feet. The other thing is that it helps me to think more out of the box. Or should I say, “out of the socks.” It’s important not to be afraid to be different, and not to worry too much about what others may think of me.

It’s very similar to what happened with Avraham and Sarah. They were not afraid to be different – Avraham didn’t believe in idols like his father did. And they were not afraid to do something bold and unique, maybe a little bit crazy. They listened to a God they had never heard before and followed the call to leave their home for a new land they had never seen before. That’s even crazier than mismatching socks. A lot crazier – but not in a bad way!

God’s command to Avraham was to “Lech lecha” which means to leave. But the second word, Lecha, means “to yourself.” So it was not just a commandment to leave – but to “go to yourself.” This means that when you think out of the box – when you leave your comfort zone and go to a new place, you discover new things about yourself. That’s what Avraham and Sarah did.

Every summer, when I go to camp, it helps me to learn more about myself, and that helps me to grow. In a similar way, my Bat Mitzvah journey has taken me from my comfort zone and helped me to grow a lot.

My Mitzvah project has been to help Camp Oasis, a nationwide camp program for kids with Crohn’s and colitis – which I’m doing in honor of my Aunt Ali and Cousin Ryan.

I made and sold rainbow loom bracelets at Carmel Academy’s Chesed Day, I raised money in a walk-a-thon and I also visited one of the camps. That really took me out of my comfort zone. I was worried that it might feel awkward for the campers that they were hearing that I was donating to them. But they were so welcoming and they kept thanking me – it felt really good. I’m also proud to share that I’ve raised over $4600 for Camp Oasis--that amount can send over 15 kids to camp on a full scholarship!

One more thing about Avraham and Sarah. They weren’t always called Avraham and Sarah. Not only did they change their location, they also changed their names, from Avram and Sarai. That enabled them to have a fresh start, with a newly discovered God, a new people and a new faith.

It’s ironic that when I was younger, every year on my birthday, I would come up with a new nickname that rhymed with my name, like Ayla, Cayla, and even Shayla and Layla! Eventually, though, I ran out of nicknames. Oh, and by the way, don’t call me Micki!

So in a way, all my life I’ve been looking up to Avraham and Sarah, without even knowing it. As I become a bat mitzvah, I understand that a very important part of being a Jew is to be able to think out of the box – with or without socks!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Shabbat-O-Gram for Oct. 24: Blessing of the (Stuffed) Animals, Challah-ween, DC’s Jewish “Watergate” and Israelis in Berlin

Blessing of the (Stuffed) Animals, Challah-ween, DC’s Jewish “Watergate” and Israelis in Berlin.

Shabbat Shalom!

We celebrate two b’nai mitzvah this Shabbat – for Hannah Nekritz on Shabbat morning and Macayla Roth in the afternoon. Mazal tov to them and their families. On Friday at 5:30 we have Tot Shabbat, where in honor of the portion of Noah, I’ll be blessing everyone’s stuffed animals! Bring ‘em on! And at our 7:30 Kabbalat Shabbat service, we’ll celebrate the beginning of the new month, Marcheshvan, whose name means “Bitter Heshvan” but it’s not so bitter after all. Know that each Kabbalat Shabbat service has unique, stunning musical moments. Join us this week to see what the buzz is all about!

The Jewish Watergate

Erica Brown writes in the Jewish Week about the scandal that has shocked so many of us, Rabbi Barry Freundel’s shameful betrayal of those seeking the privacy and sanctity of the ritual bath, the Mikvah. As such, he has also betrayed all his rabbinic colleagues, giving people one less reason to trust rabbis. This sordid story of this abuse of women and in particular of converts is almost unbelievable. I must confess, when I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke and imagined many a Purim parody about this “Porky’s on the Patomac.” But what happened is dead serious. It gives us one more episode to add to the list of recent rabbinic abuses, including the DC rabbi who starred in “To Catch a Predator,” the Boston area rabbi who allegedly sexually exploited a teenager and then stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from congregational funds to conceal his crimes; and the mother of them all, Fred Neulander, the Cherry Hill rabbi who hired a hit man to murder his wife.

The Freundel scandal points to a more widespread problems about the conversion process and the abuse of power, in particular against women by the Orthodox rabbinate, as described in this article by the JTA:

If the allegations against Freundel are true, they confirm the worst suspicions about the status of women in Orthodoxy: that the all-male rabbinical clubs support their own members in their efforts to control women’s bodies all the time. Freundel, after all, is suspected of using his authority to grab what he wanted from unsuspecting women.

Moreover, Freundel may have targeted female converts — the subset of mikvah-goers who are most at risk of abuse. These very women often do not have enough security in their social position or Jewish knowledge to question the strange demands made by rabbis in the shower room. Thus the scandal raises disturbing questions about the social structures that give men like Freundel unfettered power over Orthodox conversion. (Freudel himself has been extremely active on the conversion issue in recent years, maintaining control of the Rabbinical Council of America’s Conversion Committee and speaking widely as an expert on conversion.)

The award-winning film “A Tale of a Woman and a Robe,” by the Israeli filmmaker Nurit Jacobs Yinon, painfully demonstrates how the experiences of female converts in the mikvah violate their most basic dignity. Three male rabbis watch every woman dunk in the water, as she is naked except for a robe or sheet separating her skin from the rabbis’ eyes. Some rabbis interviewed in the film — including the Israeli modern Orthodox rabbis David Stav and Beni Lau — admit that this practice is humiliating for women, but describe their own helplessness in changing the practice.

I must confess that, while all my conversions require mikva, I am never in the room with female immersers, unless they happen to be in diapers. Not only do I zealously protect the privacy of all converts, I believe that immersion at the time of conversion is an extremely sacred moment.

If such utter humiliation is the price of acceptance into the Orthodox world, one wonders why a woman would put up with it, now that there are other choices.

But my greatest concern is that we now face a trust deficit, which is potentially more dangerous than any other deficit currently coming out of Washington, and we can’t just blame Watergate for it. He has made my job, and the job of the other 99% of clergy who are accountable and honorable, much more difficult. People like Freundel are part of the problem, to be sure, but so is a culture featuring 24 hour cable news arsonists and top films, TV shows and literature romanticizing the art of betrayal, whether sexual, political or financial. Anyone seen “Gone Girl” or “The Affair” lately? Echoing X-Files-style paranormal paranoia, our national motto has become, “Trust No One.”

EM Forster wrote, “One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life.” I know the immense trust that has been placed in me. Every lifecycle event that I perform is my Super Bowl. I know that for each family, that wedding, funeral or bat mitzvah is possibly the most important event in their lives. Every High Holiday sermon has the potential to change hundreds of lives, and maybe even save a few. Every hospital visit, every phone call, every nod and wink can be significant. There are no real objective standards that can fairly regulate or monitor such work.

In the end, it all comes down to faith in spiritual leadership. And the Jewish Watergate has opened a floodgate of mistrust.

All Pudding Aside, Let’s Celebrate the Return to Berlin

The current brouhaha in Israel over the cost of a popular Israeli pudding snack in Berlin trivializes and distorts what should be considered a great triumph of the Zionist mission. Contrary to what many Israelis believe – and all pudding aside – the renaissance of Jewish life in Berlin is an affirmation of Zionism, not a negation, as well as one of the most astounding stories of the post Holocaust generation. If the return to the land of Israel was the ultimate vindication of Jewish life in the face of death, so is the return to the belly of the beast itself.

I visited Berlin for the first time this summer, and while I did not have the pleasure of purchasing a cut-rate “Milky” there, signs of Jewish rejuvenation were everywhere. Aside from the ubiquity and unselfconscious centrality of Holocaust memorials, synagogues and restaurants, even Jewish street names herald a renewed recognition of the city’s rich Jewish heritage and strong ties to Israel. One might have guessed that a repentant Berlin would have streets dedicated to such Jewish luminaries as Mahler, Mendelssohn, Spinoza and Heine. But who could have imagined the city of Goebbels sprouting boulevards honoring Yitzchak Rabin and David Ben Gurion. (Come to think of it, does any Israeli city have a Yitzhak Rabin Street?)

The return to Berlin also proves that Judaism is indeed portable, as it was intended by the ancient rabbis to be, and that Judaism can thrive – anywhere.

The ability of Jewish communities to thrive in the Diaspora, be they in the shadow of the Reichstag or of the Freedom Tower, is intrinsically tied to the very fact of Israel’s existence. Israel bolsters confidence and pride no matter where Jews live. At the same time, a strong, vibrant Diaspora, one that includes Israelis, is precisely what the state of Israel needs most to ensure its survival in a hostile world.

As I wrote here a year ago, the same imperative that drove Israelis back to the Etzion bloc after the Six Day War is what drives Jewish life back to the streets of Poland and Germany. And just as the blood of 240 massacred Jews crying from the Etzion earth would not allow any Israeli government to declare Efrat Judenrein in any final agreement (though compromises may need to be made elsewhere), neither should the Final Solution have the final say on the fate of Jews in Berlin.

The return to Berlin is not a threat to the Zionist mission; it is an affirmation of the Jewish revival that Zionism has engendered. It is the ultimate celebration of the Jewish spirit that simply refuses to die.As such, Milkys in hand, we should slurp a l’chayim to that restored Jewish community and celebrate, rather than ruminate.

See this column at the Times of Israel.

Challah-Ween and the October Dilemma

The observance of Halloween is not Jewish and many arguments pro and con about dressing up and going door to door for candy have been made over the years. But there is no argument over the importance of Shabbat in our tradition. This year, Halloween comes out on Shabbat. The confluence of October 31 with Friday night presents families (and synagogues) with a unique opportunity to make a positive statement to their kids about Shabbat, while not necessarily placing people into a position of conflict with the fun of Halloween.

So next Friday night at services we're going to celebrate Shabbat with a unique twist. We'll call it "Challah-Ween," a title that won out over “Hallowed Queen.” Whatever you choose to call it, please come! Adults and children of all ages are welcome to join us at our regular time of 7:30 PM, and if you happen to have a costume on because you are coming from trick-or-treating, we still want you to come by and spend Kabbalat Shabbat with us. Cantor Fishman, Beth Styles and I are planning a fun service, and we'll have plenty of candy here…I may even bring out my favorite Jewish ghost story, “The Rabbi Who Was Turned into a Werewolf.” Golems and Dybbuks are especially welcome!

Another way that has been suggested to embrace Shabbat while allowing your child to have the "fun" of Halloween is to keep the Noah theme (this week’s portion) when choosing a costume. So, did Scooby Doo have a place on Noah’s Ark? Or we can move on to next week’s portion, whose title, “Lech Lecha,” literally means “move on.” Maybe God was commanding Abraham and Sarah not to head to the Promised Land, but to head out in their own neighborhood, going door to door to sell their new faith - and grab some Baby(lonian) Ruth bars while they were at it.

Here’s another suggestion for this year’s October Dilemma: Once when my kids were young and we had the same Friday night Halloween issue, we contacted a few friends and set up an in-house Thursday evening trick-or-treat alternative. We stationed adults in each room of the house, and the kids went from door to door, and when they knocked, a smiling adult gave them candy (kosher, of course). That way they could have their challah and eat it too.

As you might be able to tell, I come from the “lighten up” school of thought when it comes to Halloween, although I do feel a greater concern because of this year’s confluence with Shabbat. But the question as to whether or not Halloween is “un-Jewish,” is far too complex to relegate to a few comments here. Click here for a more comprehensive analysis from a variety of Jewish perspectives.

This is also a fascinating time to tackle the fascinating subject of “Jew-sion,” the fusion of Judaism and surrounding cultures. What is also clear that the Creation and Noah stories have many universal themes. It shows clearly how the destiny of all humankind is intertwined.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

All Pudding Aside, Let’s Celebrate the Return to Berlin (Times of Israel)

All Pudding Aside, Let’s Celebrate the Return to Berlin

JOSHUA HAMMERMAN October 23, 2014, 7:44 pm

The return to Berlin also proves that Judaism is indeed portable, as it was intended by the ancient rabbis to be, and that Judaism can thrive – anywhere.

As such, Milkys in hand, we should slurp a l’chayim to that restored Jewish community and celebrate, rather than ruminate.