Tuesday, October 28, 2008

TBE Bar/ Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Adam Satz on Parashat Bereisheet

Shabbat Shalom!

My torah portion has the story of Creation in it, something that brings to mind the Miami Dolphins. Actually, just about everything brings to mind the Miami Dolphins…. In fact, for each day of Creation, there is some connection to the Dolphins, or at least to my favorite sports.

On the first day, God said, “Let there be light.” That is exactly the cue for the Dolphins to come out of the tunnel when the game is about to begin, going from darkness to light in an instant – and that is the moment when the game begins! For God and for the world, that was also the moment that the “game” began.

On the second day, God said, “Let’s divide the waters above from the waters below,” separating heaven from earth. I don’t know what heaven is really like, but I’m pretty sure it’s like walking into Yankee stadium and seeing all the players warming up from only a few feet away. But now, we have two Yankee Stadiums, the old one that is being torn down, and the new one that will open next year. Maybe the new stadium will become heaven, as the old stadium falls into the earth.

On the third day, God made dry land and separated it from the water. Water is very different from dry land, much like the National League is different from the American League. Not only does the American League have the designated hitter, it also has more domed stadiums, which is why it is drier!

On the fourth day, God says “let darkness be separated from light and let there be stars and other lights in the heavens”. I’m pretty sure he meant to say “Let the All Star Game determine who gets the extra home game in the World Series – and let all the games be night games and end much too late for kids on the east coast!”

On the fifth day, God decided to make animals. But what he really did was create team mascots like the Dolphin’s mascot, “TD.” The dolphin would be considered a fish in the Creation story, but it’s really a mammal, and very smart.

On the sixth day, God commanded “let there be Man and Woman in MY image.” I’m not exactly sure about this one, but I’m assuming that this meant let there be football, baseball, and basketball players, and let there be cheerleaders for all of them.

It’s important to note that the first man who God created was given a really cool name: Adam.

In fact, Adam’s creation is mentioned two different times and some commentators explain that there were really two different Adams, or at least two different stories about Adam’s creation. In one story, Adam rules over the world and dominates it, and in the other, Adam nurtures the land and takes care of the animals.

I think of myself as a combination of the two Adams: Like Adam in the first story, I like being the one in charge, but like Adam in the second story, I like being outdoors, I care about the environment, including animals, and I’m a team player.

On the seventh and last day God rested - or in this case - it’s like he pitched a complete no-hitter against the Red Sox or scored the second and winning touchdown against the Patriots – and now he gets to rest.

So… that’s what the Seven Days of Creation would have looked like if they had been covered on Sports Center’s Top Seven Plays of the Week.

For my mitzvah projects, I’m doing my best to help make the world a better place, because it wasn’t totally finished by God and we all need to do our part. I will donate a portion of my Bar Mitzvah gifts to the World Wildlife Fund to save seven different animals, one for each day of the week.

I also collected sports equipment that I will donate to the Boys and Girls Club to help the kids who go there because I love playing sports and I wanted to give kids who are not as fortunate as I am the opportunity to play sports. Finally, I also collected food and helped sort food donations at Person to Person. It was very hard work… unloading the truck, checking for expiration dates, sorting the food by category into crates, and carrying the crates into the pantry. Before the truck containing all the High Holiday food donations got to the parking lot, I went down stairs and almost every single shelf in the pantry was empty. Once we had sorted all the food, the shelves were overflowing. Person to Person gives food and clothes to working people in need, so they can spend their salaries on heat, rent, and gas so they can get to work.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to my collections… as well as to my parents who made a food donation to Jewish Family Services through the baskets you see on the bimah.

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