Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Pesach Haikus

Thanks to my colleague Rabbi Menachem Creditor for sending along these Pesach Haikus, submitted on Facebook by those responding to his challenge: 10 points to the best Jewish Haiku on the irrational Pesach feeling of an imaginary food shortage.

First Prize (10 Pesach Points):

A Pesach highlight:
My mom’s long-lost plum brisket
Somewhere, she’s kvelling
Alix Wall

Second Place (5 Pesach Points):

Seder leftovers
could feed all homeless a week
still fill our fridges
Ruth Petersen Shorer

Lots of Other Awesome Entries:

Seen through tears and glass,
Cafe Flore's forbidden cake.
Dodi kvar lo li?
Rabbi David Dunn Bauer

We have lots of food
But we need to feel deprived
Pass the matzah brei.
Debbie Bamberger

Parsley tastes okay
Charoset is pretty good
But bagels, sublime.
Debbie Bamberger

I shopped for a month
To eat for eight days?! Now I’m
Not even hungry.
Adam Hoffstetter

hungry abundance 
chol hamoed pesach see
food but no chametz
Kayla Garelick

What if we run out
Of pesachdich cheese? Or worse,
If we have leftovers?
Jo-Ellen Pozner Zeitlin

If I had one brick
for every matzo, I could
build a city block.
Michelle Tremaine

I used to hunger
Now I eat much kitnyot
Crazy ashkenazim!
Simon Firestone

b'khol dor va dor
oblige yourself to hunger
despite a full fridge
Sarit Horwitz

twelve guests, two briskets; 
should I make the chicken too?; 
I'll make the bird too.
Beth Zygielbaum

For a vegan Jew
This isn't even hard -- it's
ha! -- a piece of cake.
Pauline Yearwood

It's very trendy,
The latest food fad online --
Eight gluten-free days.
Pauline Yearwood

why do i hunger
for lack of leaven when i
don't even eat gluten?
Dr. Yehuda Kurtzer

On Passover Jews
are a stiff-necked, stiff egg white
stiff-boweled people
Dr. Yehuda Kurtzer

Gefilte fish swims
Away from the horseradish
I help them make peace 
Laynie Tzena

My friend brought me cake
Dark chocolate and Pesadich
I always liked her
Laynie Tzena

He said we could have
His chicken, now that he's gone
To join the vegans
Laynie Tzena

Why didn't I block
Bertucci's ads from Facebook
Now I crave pasta
Debra Hirsch Corman

Been through the pantry
So full of food-like junk, yet
There's nothing to eat
Yosef Goldman

Entering freedom
burns many a calorie
(so I tell myself)
Yosef Goldman

ShopRite Pesach Aisle
Just in case you get stuck in
Pesach for a month.
Gella Solomon

Too much matzah blech
No real food in sight for days
The indigestion
Robin Haber Freyberg

Come to Israel
where everything is kosher,
oh no, kitniyot!
Arie Hasit

No shortage for me
I eat Pesach food all year!
Quinoa, kale, fish, fruit
Jordan Namerow

Out without a snack
Forgot to prepare something
Buying a banana
Brian Schachter-Brooks

Let all those hungry
Enter and eat the leftovers 
But not the brisket
Falynn Schmidt

No rolls or pasta,
Seven days of nothing but,
Flat, dry, dusty, crumbs.
Marc Gottlieb

potato starch box
languishes in the pantry
"just in case," she says
Hope Levav

No bread? I will starve!
Buy, lest I run out of food...
Siege mentality!
Benjamin Epstein

One G-d, two tablets,
Three matzot, four cups, four sons,
Five more days to go.
Rabbi Rob Scheinberg

ShopRite Manager:
Please don't clear the Pesach shelf
until Thursday night.
Rabbi Rob Scheinberg

Matzah shelf was bare
At Berkeley Bowl this morning
It’s only day three
Alix Wall

Fourth day of Pesach
fourth day of baseball; Phillies
losing. Vey iz Mir.
Ethel Goldberg

Going on a trip
During Chol HaMoed time
Packing up kitchen
Lisa Schachter-Brooks

Crack! The heavy feast
Breaks the table leg - or just
The Afikomen?
Kevi Equality

molly stone's is closed
there is plenty of matzah
i am sick of eggs...
Shosh Anderson

Belly aches badly
Plenty of stinky gasses
Nothing coming out!
Brad Walter

Not by bread alone
Shall we live. There is matzah.
And that's about all.
Sheyna Galyan

Where's the potatoes?
I said, WHERE's the potatoes??
Did you eat them all???????????!
Julie Seltzer

Fifteen for Seder
Are seven kugels enough
Must make more tonight
Andrea Lavender

Matzoh: baked, boiled, fried,
Afflicted with food we cry,
There's nothing to eat!
Varda Epstein

At first, a nice crunch:
Then it seems awfully plain.
Day Five: Please, No More!
Rabbi Ruth Adar

In the desert we 
ate manna. Now we cook for 
days, to remember.
Suzi Brozman

empty space near matzah
where my chocolate usually lives
no craving, just free
Reba Connell

Like a tzunami
Terrifying, engulfing
Emptiness threatens.
Toby Klein Greenwald

Eleven dozen eggs
(Chametz chicken feed, can't buy
Shifra Pride Raffel

I am in New York.
Thirty-plus kosher places
Are open Pesach.
Joshua Diamant

Facebook jealousy
Gnaws my matza-filled guts as
Josh D. eats take-out.
Shifra Pride Raffel

Shifra, I haven't.
But if I wanted to eat
Out, well then I could.
Joshua Diamant

Not enough matzah
My insides are screaming MORE
Must eat tasteless food
Jennifer Massie

Like to eat matzah
NOT! It fills me up too much
I prefer salads
Jennifer Massie

I want kitniot
Why follow this absurd rule
For so many years?
Aliza Amy Olenick Segal

keeping pesach rules 
makes keeping kosher year round 
easy as pizza
Barbara Solomon-Speregen

Matzah crumbs underfoot
Remind us we're on a trek
to Torah itself
Barbara Solomon-Speregen

Eighteen rows of holes 
I slowly, slowly nibble 
one more matza sheet.
Marisa Elana James

So it costs a lot...
KP tequilla - hooray!
Guac, matzah - olé!
Rabbi Gail Labovitz

I look in the fridge. 
Something jump out and feed me! 
I get no response...
Jessica Senders Weinberg

No comments: