Shabbat Shalom,
An important theme of today’s Torah portion, Vayera, is about being tested in life.
In this portion, most of these tests center on Abraham to see how loyal he was
to God and Judaism. According to the
ancient rabbis, Abraham had to pass ten tests during his lifetime.
Perhaps his greatest test was the last one,
where God tested Abraham by instructing him to sacrifice his own young son,
Isaac. In the story, Abraham took his son to Mt Moriah to sacrifice him.
Just as Abraham was about to kill Isaac, an angel told him, “‘Now I know that you fear God, because you have
not withheld from me your son, your only son.” And so, Isaac was spared. Abraham was being tested by God to see if he
would obey him.
I’ve had to deal with several tests too in my
life, some more difficult than others.
When I was about five or six, my mother got
sick. Eventually she had to be
hospitalized for long periods of time.
My siblings and I visited her at least twice a week while she was
hospitalized. To keep her spirit up, we brought my mother “Get well soon”
balloons, flowers, and cake. Our visits probably helped her live longer.
It’s interesting to note that the mitzvah of
visiting the sick comes from this portion. On the third day after Abraham’s
circumcision he was still suffering and in a lot of pain. God offers kindness
by visiting Abraham, and sets an example for the rest of us.
While we did everything we could to keep our
mother alive, and although it was not ultimately enough, she is here today in
spirit. So we were successful in completing the mitzvah which, according to the
Torah portion, was satisfied when we at least assisted in aiding her throughout
her illness, and we know that we often put a smile on her face.
When my mother passed away, I was tested again
by having to continue life when things were so difficult.
Of course, I was helped by my father, assisted by other adults,
such as babysitters and my grandparents, but it was a very difficult time to go
through, especially as the oldest child, and I had to stay strong. This sad,
challenging experience taught me not to take my life for granted, and so I try
to make every day count.
There have been other tests in my life
experience as well. Moving to the US was
a big test. When my mom became ill, we
needed to be pulled out of school in Japan, and we moved to this area to get her
the best medical care.
When we moved back to the New York area, my
parents didn’t want me to forget my Japanese, so they sent me to a Japanese
school in Greenwich, Ct. There, I was
the only completely American student,
excluding my siblings. I looked and felt very different from my peers. I was
challenged when I had trouble making many friends because I was the “new
kid”.
Also, being the only American student, I spoke and understood less
of the Japanese language than the other children, and, at the very beginning, I
did not do too well in Kanji tests, which are the Japanese characters. Eventually though, I passed more of these
“tests,” as I started to study more.
Slowly, I overcame the test of socialization by becoming friendly with a
few peers in the classes.
I have been physically tested as well. Some of
you may already know that I have broken, at separate times, my arm and my leg
from one sport: skiing. My parents
decided I was just “unlucky” both times, so I was forced, against my will, to
keep trying. Again, here, I was tested to persevere at something at which I had
already failed twice in my mind.
Although I am physically healed by now, I am still a bit scared to go on
trails with many trees. Sometimes, I am
forced to face this challenge, and my fears are subsiding. Just for the record – I still enjoy skiing a
lot.
A separate test for me family-wise was getting
to know my new mother, Jill, who has adopted all of us. I became used to not having more than one
parent for period of time, and so when my father said that he was getting
remarried, I had to, yet again, get used to a new, significant change in my life
with someone I didn’t know as well. With
any relationship, it takes some time to get to know the other person. Jill’s
love, warmth, kindness, and support, not to mention her efforts in helping me
in school and for this bar-mitzvah, make me feel that I truly have a mother
again. I am very blessed.
For the past year, my patience has also been
tested in preparation for this very day. I have probably spent more than 150
hours to arrive here– so that’s 30 minutes a day for about nine months, times
four weeks per month, which equals 126 hours, but there are more than 28 days
per month, except for February, plus extra time over the past month, and then
there’s the 7 extra minutes to do these calculations.
I have thought many times, “Ugh, this is too
much work.” Or, “I want to give up,” but I knew those were not practical
answers, so I kept on going, despite how demanding it was and how much effort
it took. By the time I hit October, I
felt well-prepared.
As challenging as my tests have been, other kids
face far greater challenges. For my
Mitzvah project, I want to help less fortunate kids have access to
technology. You can read about my
project, “One Laptop per Child,” in my Bar Mitzvah booklet.
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