TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Sam Porto on Noah

Those of you who know me know that I love animals.   I have a cat, Maurry, three fish, Phil, an African blue Zebra, Mike, a Beta, and Abby, a Crowntail Beta…oh yes, and a frog, Hopper, who will literally come up to you, hop and steal the food out of your hands. 

I don’t really have a favorite animal.  I love them all equally.  But there is a special place in my heart for one creature in particular.  That’s right … you guessed it, the Sloth. 

Sloths are misunderstood and unappreciated.  Actually, many people like sloths, including many of my friends. 

How could you not admire a sloth?  They really have the life!  They just sit around all day hanging from trees.  Some may call them lazy, but I call them smart.  They know exactly how high to climb to stay out of the way of predators.  And they’re so cute with those three toes.  Their claws may look dagger sharp, but they are really gentle animals.

OK, so you’re probably wondering, what’s Jewish about sloths?   Well, I did some research.  In the words of one sloth expert, sloths are in “a league of their own.”  They are used to standing out because they evolved in South America a continent that for a long time wasn't connected to any others. They're also very old—their family tree, which also includes anteaters and armadillos, diverged from the rest of the mammals some 75-80 million years ago. They're also pretty strange.

No, Jews aren’t strange, but the Torah does call the Israelites “a People that dwells alone.” Jews have always found a way to stand out from the crowd, to be different.

Sloths are also not particularly aggressive.  They eat leaves and berries and kill almost nothing.  Jews are also historically peace loving. Sloths, like Jews are also very social. And finally, like Jews, sloths have had to overcome prejudice.  Even their name has become synonymous with laziness.  Sloths are not really lazy!

One more interesting thing.  Sloths can hold their grip after they are dead. It’s similar to the fact that when our ancestors pass away, they still hold an influence over us as we remember them. 

In addition to being a sloth expert, I’m a fan the “Big Bang Theory,” and in one episode, Sheldon demonstrated the old “Live long and prosper” hand signal made famous by Mr. Spock in Star Trek.  It turns out that this was derived from the way the ancient priests used to bless the people in Jerusalem.  When I saw this for the first time, of course it reminded of the three toed sloth and how it would bless the other sloths.  If they would talk, they would hold those three fingers proudly and say to the people, “Live long and lazy.”

For my mitzvah project, I raised $400 for the Connecticut Humane Society by swimming 64 laps, a full mile, in the JCC pool.  As we honor our pets today, a special shout out to Maurry, Phil, Mike, Abby, and Hopper. And also I want to take a moment to remember my friend Chris’s dog Lily, who passed away a couple of months ago.

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Ryan Murphy on Lech Lecha

Shabbat Shalom.  My Bar Mitzvah torah portion is Lech Lecha. The readings which I just recited are found in Chapter 16 of Genesis.  Though we would  like to think of Abraham and Sarah, the first Jews, as being perfect in every way, this portion teaches us that is most certainly not the case. They were humans just like you and me, capable of doing good and bad and making the right choices.

In Chapter 16, Sarah, heartbroken by her inability to have a child, offers Abraham her maidservant, Hagar, as a concubine by which he would have an heir. Lo and Behold, Hagar is impregnated, and Sarah now has a huge problem on her hands. No, not finding out who the baby daddy is, but rather the fact that her former maidservant is now her equal. Overcome with jealousy and spite, Sarah begins a campaign of  abuse towards Hagar. Tormenting her endlessly, Sarah pushes Hagar over the edge and eventually she is forced to run away.

In the desert, an angel confronts Hagar and tells her that she must return to Sarah because her son is destined  for greatness. The Rabbis pose the question: Why would an angel of god tell Hagar that she must not only stop running away from Sarah, but return to her for what they acknowledge will be even more brutal treatment?

This just may be one of the first cases of bullying in recorded history. Judaism teaches us that bullying is a cancer that must be crushed, lest it continue and grow more intense. In the next parsha, Vayera, Sarah takes her hatred of Hagar to the next level by expelling her and her son, Ishmael, into the wilderness. If bullying is not stopped at the source, the seed, a truly evil tree will grow in the ground instead of the Tree of Life.

These same values hold fast in today's society as well. Throughout my life, I have tried to step up to the plate and make sure that bullying has been batted far out of the park. In first grade, I stood up and was the sole defender of a student who was being picked on. The values impressed upon me by my parents are nothing unique to my family. The best gift a person can give is friendship to another.  Whether it's between adults or children, there is bullying all across the world, It's our job as good people to ensure that we do not find ourselves acting like Sarah and insulting, teasing, humiliating, tormenting, or torturing others no matter who they are or what they look like or believe in, because we all seek the same things in life. Whether its hitting a home run or running a touchdown, or just doing well in school, we all have the same goals in life and should not make it our business 

to impede anyone else's attempts at achieving those goals.

So tonight, when the  party starts, I hope you will talk to strangers, make some new friends, and even try your hand on the dance floor. Just have a great time!

My Mitzvah Project, "Books and Baseball," has had a profound effect on me, and I hope, an even more profound effect on the Islanders of Anguilla. I, as many of you may know, have been vacationing to the Island of Anguilla in the Caribbean since I was an infant, and I have loved the time I spent there. When I found out about the wonderful opportunity to give back, I was enthralled. The over 400 books that I donated to an elementary school library there will serve as educational tools, teaching the students not only to read, but educating them about the greatest gift a man can give. The second aspect of my project actually allowed the children to make friendship and come closer as a community. I donated five bats, nine gloves, and dozens of baseballs to a little league on the Island. In playing these games, the children have the chance to make meaningful and lasting friendships. 

The Dalai Lama and the audacity of simplicity | Joshua Hammerman | Ops & Blogs | The Times of Israel

The Dalai Lama and the audacity of simplicity

This week I had the privilege of hearing the Dalai Lama, as he spoke before 5,600 guests, primarily students, at Brown University in Providence, RI. I was awash in admiration, with a dash of clergy-envy, for one able to touch the lives of so many. One student tried to make me feel better by stating that a good percentage of the students there had no idea who he is and some probably thought they were coming to see a talking llama.

He directed his comments primarily to young people, reminding me that within the next few weeks I’ll be officiating at the final bar mitzvah of a student born in the 20^th century. The world is swiftly changing, but the Dalai Lama chooses to look at the future optimistically, placing it firmly but gently in the hands of the next generation, the Millennials. 

(See also the Brown Daily Herald Report and a video of the entire speech)

Although English is not his primary language, he spoke fluidly and with great humor — and an infectious Eddie Murphy laugh — demonstrating an ability to reach people at their level. Since one side-story has received undue attention online, it must be pointed out that ha profanity ascribed to him was a clear misinterpretation by the device handling closed captioning. Still, even the misquote (what he really said was “just forget!”) was an indicator of how comfortable he was with this demographic — and how at ease the students were with him. He could have said it (though to be clear, he never cursed) and we hardly would have flinched. He was that relaxed, that congenial, and that connected to this audience. One minute, John Stuart Mill, the next minute, Jon Stewart; one minute, we were at the feet of the master, the next, downing beers at the pub down the street (though he doesn’t).

“This 21st century should be a century of dialogue,” he said, calling on the students to cultivate an ethos of compassion, love and forgiveness, in both religious and secular contexts. He sees a trend toward greater spirituality, even among secularists and scientists, toward a mature world of unity and reconciliation.  It’s pretty hard to agree when you look out the window — but equally hard to disagree when you see the world through the window of his eyes.

In response to a question from a Native American professor about being kicked off his land and living in exile, he spoke about the extraordinary lengths he has gone to reach out to Chinese communities, even as China still paints him as a terrorist. China exiled him, still hates and fears him and is committing cultural genocide in his ancestral homeland, but this perennial victim refuses to hate back. Remarkable — and a valuable lesson for Jews.

In another lesson for Jews and other peoples who have been displaced, he emphasized the importance of sustaining a culture through the preservation of language. He described how Tibetan education became the top priority for his community when they resettled in India in 1959. Within a year, they had opened a separate Tibetan school, fully supported by the Indian government.

“The most important aspect of our identity is our language,” he said, and Jewish educators everywhere nodded, “Amen.”

He discussed encounters with many displaced peoples all over the world, though, to my relief, none in Israel’s backyard. In fact, although his infrequent comments on the Israel-Palestinian issue have been continuously dissected, he seems to identify more with Jewish historic victimization and steers away from contentious political waters. He is, through and through, a man of peace.

One student asked him, in light of the frightening events transpiring in the Middle East, how we can process these events from a peace-centered perspective. Is it possible to maintain a sense of optimism in this dark environment? He responded by describing his outreach to the Muslim community following Sept. 11. It’s not about Islam, he said. Muslims in India and Indonesia are different. “Same Quran. Same Allah.” He sees education as being the key toward changing attitudes in the Arab world, that and “more interaction, more contact.”

He spoke much about happiness, not derived simply from material success but through kindness toward others and inner peace.

He remains steadfastly hopeful and optimistic. “We are the same human being, mentally, emotionally, physically,” he said, adding that when he meets new people, it’s as if they have already met.

It was a message these students needed to hear, as they prepare to forge a future that is increasingly scary, for them personally and for the world as a whole.

I came away from the lecture inspired and uplifted. Funny thing, though, because if you just read a transcript of what he said, you will probably wonder why the guy is so revered. The message is basic and it’s not exclusive to Buddhists. Love and hope work well for rabbis too; not to mention bishop, ministers, religious leaders of all stripes and the occasional politician. The message could not be simpler. But there is a power to his simplicity, a defiance, an audacity. Maybe it comes from his background, his courage to love despite his people’s perpetual suffering, his embracing his nation’s burden despite having been chosen for leadership while still a toddler, his steadfast refusal to give up.

It makes the rest of us feel real small. And it made me feel real lucky to have heard him.

Something he wrote:

NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up”

– Dalai Lama XIV

Bark Mitzvah Booklet 2012

Click here for part one of our 2012 TBE Bark Mitzvah booklet

Click here for part two, including Blessings for the animals and other material on the Jewish value of "Tza'ar Ba'alay Hayyim" (Sensitivity to Animals)

Conservative Judaism: Directions for Today and Tomorrow

A star-studded symposium held this week on the future of the Conservative movement.


Introduction of Program: Professor Jonathan Sarna, Brandeis University Keynote Address: Chancellor Arnold Eisen, Jewish Theological Seminary Remarks: Rabbi Julie Schonfeld, Executive VP, Rabbinical Assembly Remarks: Rabbi Steven Wernick, CEO, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Panel Discussion: Professor Jonathan Sarna

NEXT WEEK! INTERFAITH CONFERENCE

Wednesday, October 24 at UConn Stamford 

Professor Susannah Heschel, Dartmouth College

The Center for Judaic & Middle Eastern Studies at UConn Stamford,
and the Louis J. Kuriansky Foundation, in cooperation with the Interfaith Council of Southwestern Connecticut, presents the annual Kuriansky Lecture, Narratives of the Holy: Judaism, Christianity and Islam in the Modern Jewish Imagination 

Community Reception & Dinner, 5:30 - 7 pm  

Keynote: 7:15  pm; Interfaith Panel (which I'm honored to be on): 8:15 pm

$5/person lecture only; $15/person lecture & dinner. 

For more information,email or call (203) 251-9525/0184

Click here for the flyer with full information

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Alyssa Goldberg on Sukkot

I’ve always enjoyed Sukkot – and part of the reason is that I’ve always liked the fall. 

Of course I like summer too – especially camp, and I’m so glad that some of my camp friends are here (wave?).   But summer can’t happen all year long.  If summer were all year long, we wouldn’t appreciate it.  It would get boring.  I would eventually miss my family and  home and my feet would get tired of flip flops.  I would even miss school – sort of – but especially my school friends. 

The fall is important because it reminds us that summer can’t last forever.  And that helps us to appreciate summer even more, which then helps us to appreciate fall, and then winter, and eventually spring. 

Sukkot is about appreciating the fall.  The leaves change color and crunch under our feet.  The air gets cooler, but not too cold.  Sukkot is also about appreciating life.  It is important to appreciate what we have and not always be wishing for more.  Sukkot is the original Thanksgiving festival.  In fact, when the pilgrims were looking for a model for the holiday they wanted to celebrate, they looked to the Bible and to Sukkot.

          The sukkah is the main symbol of the festival.  You can see it right outside the sanctuary.  When I was in Hebrew School, I used to love making decorations for the temple’s sukkah. The most important thing to know about a sukkah is that it needs to be fragile enough so that the walls will come down in a wind storm and allow rain to come through the roof.

          Yet, the sukkah is like a home, because what matters most is not the strength of the walls or roof, but the love and warmth generated by the people inside. It’s a custom to eat meals in the Sukkah and to always welcome your guests.

Sukkot is also called the “time of our joy” “z’man simchataynu” –  but it’s not about having a great time at a party.  The kind of happiness celebrated on Sukkot is the kind you feel when you are thankful for all that you have.

As you know, today we read from Kohelet, the book of Ecclesiastes, another custom of this holiday.  It has many bits and pieces of wisdom about how we need to live for the day and appreciate every day of our lives.  It advises us to be patient and not frustrate easily; also, it advises us that it is better to take criticism from someone we respect than to listen to the “praise of fools.”

But most of all, Kohelet teaches us to appreciate every day of life, that we should enjoy everything we have in our lives. 

My parents have been such a good example for me in this regard, especially my mom because she has taught me to stay strong even when she’s not feeling well.  And I know that when I stay strong, it can help her feel better, and my dad and brothers too.  Staying strong doesn’t mean hiding your feelings.  It means being able to enjoy every day, just like Kohelet teaches us.

For those who don’t know, my mom has been battling breast cancer for several years.  I chose my mitzvah project in her honor, to raise money for the Paint the Town Pink project of the Bennett Cancer Center.  Last week, I participated in the Mile of Pink event to raise awareness for breast cancer. So far, I’ve raised over $1000.  If you would like to make a donation, you can find the information in my booklet.

Letter from Netanya

(another beautiful taste of Israel from TBE's Jan Gaines)

Dear Friends,

This morning was not an ordinary Friday morning. It was a Kabbalat HaTorah for second graders all over the country, a morning when they are introduced to the Torah to begin their Tanach or Torah study.

I expected a serious ceremony with alot of speeches.  Not on your life. I forgot this was Israel, where all ceremonies and simchas are greeted with singing and dancing and excited anticipation from the kids who have been rehearsing for this for days.

We  were parents, grandparents and siblings all taking off work or other committments to come to cheer their kids on.  We started off in the gymnasium where the 60 second graders were lined up waiting for us to be seated. The boys had Tallit draped over their small shoulders, some swimming in them.  And of course kipot. The girls all had a white flower in their hair, and all the kids had on white T shirts from the school.

First, we were treated to a choreographed exhibition of Israel songs and dances;  circle dances, mayim dances, etc. There was the usual accordion, a centerpiece of all Israeli simchas;   and recorded music, and lots of clapping as the kids went through their paces. It reminded me of a halftime show at a football game, but close up so families could kvell over their kids.

Then we formed a procession, led by a Klezmer quartet.  All of us danced along the streets clapping and singing with the kids, in a motley, traffic stopping crowd. But the drivers all honked and waved;  they were part of this too. We were headed to a nearby synagogue where we filed in and the kids took their places in the center( no separation of sexes; this was not a regular service.)  The very young (32yrs old) principal spoke to the kids about the importance of the synagogue as a place they should always consider their "home". He reminded them that they should never feel strange in any "Beit Knesset".

One of the Klezmer quartet members  led a few simple prayers. When he came to the Shma he told the kids about a rabbi who went to Europe after the war to find Jewish children.  How could he tell which children were Jewish in all the refugee camps he went to?  Because he asked who could recite the Shma !!!!!This above all he told the kids, is the foundation of Torah.

There was still lots of singing, mostly Carlebach songs which have completely permeated Israeli society. The kids knew them all.  Then four men put up a giant tallit and held it over each group of kids, while the leader blessed them with the four-fold blessing and they all shouted "Amen" (not Ken Yihe Ratzon).  This was followed by a video from Rabbi Lau who is Netanya's chief rabbi (brother of the famous Lau) saying that Am Israel, the Jewish people, will live as long as Torah lives.

Finally, the video screen showed each child holding a children's Torah and as each face flashed on the screen the other kids shouted out the name. It amazed me that all 60 kids seemed to know each other.

But of course no celebration is complete without food and sweets.  Each child was given a kiddish cup filled with candy and as we filed out there were tables full of burekas and soft drinks.

I was near tears a couple of times in the synagogue during the ceremony, seeing how even the non-religious schools introduce Torah to the kids as part of their lives from now on.And make it as joyful as possible.  I looked around at the parents, wondering how many of them are truly "secular" which to me means not even Friday night family dinners. The friends I was with told me they feel there is less and less of even minimum observance as time goes on. But one never knows how these kids will turn out.  At the very least, they know they are not just Israeli but also Jewish, that you can't separate the two, and that they must respect the Torah as a part of their lives from now on.

Shabbat Shalom,  Jan

Crosby's Portrait

Thank you to Susan Darer, animal portrait expert, for this lovely portrait of my dog Crosby.  Susan's website is http://petportraitsbysusansdarer.com

Join us at our Blessing of the Animals tomorrow morning!

Dalai Lama at Brown: A Century of Compassion

This week I had the privilege of hearing the Dalai Lama, as he spoke before 5,600 guests, primarily students, in Providence, R.I.   I was awash in admiration, with a dash of clergy-envy, for one able to touch the lives of so many. He directed his comments primarily to the young people, reminding me that within the next few weeks I’ll be officiating at the final bar mitzvah of a student born in the 20^thcentury.  The world is swiftly changing, but the Dalai Lama chooses to see look at the future optimistically, placing it gently in the hands of the next generation, the Millennials.

(See also the Brown Daily Herald report and a video of the entire speech)

Although English is not his primary language, he spoke fluidly and with great humor – and an infectious Eddie Murphy laugh - demonstrating an ability to reach people at their level.  Since one side story has received undue attention online, it must be pointed out that a profanity ascribed to him was a clear misinterpretation by the person handling closed captioning.  Still, even the misquote (what he really said was "just forget!") was an indicator of how comfortable he was with this demographic - and how at ease the students were with him.  He could have said it (though to be clear, he never cursed) and we hardly would have flinched.  He was that relaxed, that congenial, and that connected to this audience. One minute, John Stuart Mill, the next minute, Jon Stewart; one minute, we were at the feet of the Master, the next, downing beers at the pub down the street.

“This 21st century should be a century of dialogue,” he said, calling on the students to cultivate an ethos of compassion, love and forgiveness, in both religious and secular contexts. He sees a trend toward greater spirituality, even among secularists and scientists, toward a mature world of unity and reconciliation.  

In response to a question from a Native American professor about being kicked off his land and living in exile, he spoke about the extraordinary lengths he has gone to reach out to Chinese communities, even as China still paints him as a terrorist.  China exiled him and is committing cultural genocide in their ancestral homeland - they still hate him, but this perennial victim refuses to hate back.  Remarkable - and a valuable lesson for Jews.  

In another lesson for Jews and other peoples who have been displaced, he emphasized the importance of sustaining a culture through the preservation of language.  He described how Tibetan education became the top priority for his community when they were exiled to India in 1959.  Within a year, they had opened a separate Tibetan school, fully supported by the Indian government.  "The most important aspect of our identity is our language," he said, and Jewish educators everywhere nodded, "Amen."

He spoke much about happiness, not simply from material success but through kindness toward others and inner peace.  

One student asked him, in light of the frightening events transpiring in the Middle East, how we can process these events from a peace-centered perspective.  Is it possible to maintain a sense of optimism in this dark environment?  He responded by describing his outreach to the Muslim community following Sept. 11. It's not about Islam, he said. Muslims in India and Indonesia are different. "Same Quran. Same Allah." He sees education as being the key toward changing attitudes in the Arab world, that and "more interaction, more contact."

He remains steadfastly hopeful and optimistic.  “We are the same human being, mentally, emotionally, physically,” he said, adding that when he meets new people, it's as if they have already met.

It was a message these students needed to hear, as they prepare to forge a future that is increasingly scary, for them personally and for the world as a whole.

I came away from the lecture inspired and uplifted.  Funny thing, though, because if you just read a transcript of what he said, you will probably wonder why the guy is so revered. The message is basic and it's not exclusive to Buddhists.  Love and Hope work well for rabbis too, not to mention bishop, ministers, religious leaders of all stripes and the occasional politician.  The message could not be simpler.  But there is a power to his simplicity.  Maybe it comes from his background, his courage to love despite his people's perpetual suffering, his embracing his burden despite having been chosen for leadership while still a toddler, his steadfast refusal to give up.

It makes the rest of us feel real small.  And it made me feel real lucky to have heard him.

NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up”
― Dalai Lama XIV

Have you ever wondered what it means to be a Conservative Jew?

Have you ever wondered what it means to be a Conservative Jew?  Or, for that matter, to belong to a Conservative synagogue?  If you have, you're not alone!

It's with that question in mind that the Rabbinical Assembly just published a massive, one volume response entitled, The Observant Life.   I believe that this book is a must-own for every Conservative Jew.  It will be discussed (often heatedly) for a generation.

  

THIS THURSDAY from 7-8 PM, I am beginning a ten session course designed to introduce this book to the congregation.  CLICK HERE FOR THE TABLE OF CONTENTS AND A SAMPLE CHAPTER ON ISRAEL.  As you'll see, there are literally hundreds of chapters and sub-headings covering every imaginable aspect of life, from kashrut to infertility to personal integrity.  The class will determine which of these chapters we will cover during our sessions.  Each session will be self-contained, so it is OK to miss a few.  

At this Thursday's session, we will spend some time on the Israel chapter AS WELL AS THE CHAPTER ON CITIZENSHIP - PLEASE DOWNLOAD AND READ BEFORE CLASS. This chapter is particularly relevant at a time when everyone is discussing the nature of American democracy as we lurch toward November.  It brings up crucial subjects like the separation of church and state, freedom of the press and freedom of speech.  Is traditional Judaism compatible with democracy as we know it?  Is it a mitzvah to vote?

Here's a special offer from your rabbi!   Sample Thursday's session for free and then decide whether to buy the book and sign up for the rest of the class.  Given the importance of this topic,  I don't want anyone to miss out!  For those who wish to register in advance, contact education@tbe.org.  The $50 ($75 per couple) cost includes the book, plus other materials I'll be preparing.

Of course, I think all of the book's topics are important, which is why I'm confident that we'll have a big registration and lots of copies of "The Observant Life" finding their way to congregants' night tables. 

See you Thursday!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman 

(BTW, a number of people have asked me to respond to some of the controversial statements made by our recent Hoffman lecturer.  I believe this chapter forms part of a response to the question of whether "tikkun olam" (world repair) is an inherently Jewish value.  I believe it is - and strongly disagree with some of her claims.  If people want to discuss that on Thursday night, it will fit in nicely with the topic)

Send Us Your Pet's Pic!!!

We are putting together a TBE Pet Directory for our grand Bark Mitzvah and Blessing of the Animals set for  Oct. 20 (the portion of Noah).  The booklet will be online, so even if you can't make it to the service we want ALL our TBE pets to be represented.  Pics alone are fine, but we request that you also fill out a Pet Profile by checking our sample booklet and responding to some or all of the questions posed on profiles there.

I've already gotten my profiles in for Chloe and Crosby:

Have you?????

Creating Visionary Schools: The Case for Stamford

I invite you to join us this Shabbat morning for a very special Beth El Cares Shabbat:

 "Creating Visionary Schools: The Case for Stamford"

Our guest will be Dr. Winifred Hamilton (see her bio here), the new superintendent of Stamford's schools.  This program is part of our year-long series of special Shabbat programming.

As a parent whose children have experienced both our public schools and Jewish day schools, I can say without hesitation that both are excellent choices.  But what disturbs me - and is a prime reason for inviting Dr. Hamilton - is how many in the Jewish community shortchange our public schools.  Not long ago, I heard from one congregant that her grown children, now leaving New York City, will not even consider Stamford as an option for their kids, specifically because of the reputation of the schools. 

Well, that reputation appears to be changing. Just recently, Kiplinger's listed Stamford among the ten great places to live in the US, adding, "Crime is low, and schools are top-notch. Stamford boasts six magnet schools that focus on various academic disciplines, ranging from technology to the environment."

Both of my kids are proud graduates of Westhill, and having seen closely what goes on in that school, I can say without equivocation that they were prepared to excel at (and get into) any type of college and, more importantly, they learned how crucial it is to revel in the marvelous diversity of our community.  They learned how to live in the real world.  I do alumni interviewing for Brown and see students from all the famous and extremely expensive prep schools in our area.  I can say without hesitation that the teens from Stamford schools are at least as prepared (and in some cases, much more interesting) than those who come from more homogeneous educational environments. 

Of course I love our TBE private school grads too, but that is not the point.  The point is that if our community is arguably one of the best in the country - and it is - it should have one of the best school systems.  And if our congregation is to continue growing and thriving, and if our Jewish community is to continue to demonstrate a rich cultural and spiritual diversity, we need for that to happen.

I know that the school system has challenges.  Many of them.  I've seen - up close - the good, the bad, the ugly and the excellent.  Having weighed all of these factors, I'm now taking a vocal position as an unabashed advocate and I'm calling on more of our Jewish community leaders to do the same.  I encourage you to come here on Shabbat morning and ask challenging questions.  It is of immense importance that the Jewish community be completely engaged in this dialogue, as I know many of our parents have been on an individual basis.  And it's natural that TBE take the lead in that respect.  Our future depends on it - Beth El's, to be sure, but more importantly, our children's, and our country's.  

The main service begins at 9:30, in the sanctuary.  Tot Shabbat begins at 10:30 in the triple classroom, and at approximately 11:15, parents of the tots will join us in the main sanctuary for this important presentation.  We'll conclude with a nice sit-down Kiddush.  If you are at all concerned about the schools, please make it your business to be here this Shabbat (and by all means invite your friends).  We want a nice turnout to welcome our guests.

The Holidays in Netanya - a Letter from Jan Gaines

 How do we celebrate the fall "hagim" here in Netanya.?  Let's start right after Yom Kippur, (which I think of as the WHITE holy day because everyone puts on white pants, skirts, tops for the one day they go to synagogue.)  The day after is a regular work day with the kids back in school.  But that is a short interval because right away we go into Succot, just as you do.

  I love Succot here.  There are succahs  everywhere: every restaurant, every apartment with a balcony and if no balcony, on the patio entrance, and of course at every synagogue. People walk around with their lulav in their hands almost the whole week as they go to morning minyan. At the same time, school is out for almost 10 days and this is the time people take vacations with their kids, or go to one of the many programs, shows and events for the kids all over the country. The beaches are full, the national parks crowded, and those staying home are sure to invite friends and family for meals in the succah.

  I've had 2 meals already in a succah with different friends with another one tonight, the last night of Succot and Erev Simcha Torah, this one with a large Yemenite family. This is after the processions tonight, when of course many kids take part.   The sounds coming from some of the Sephardi synagogues have disturbed the sleep of their neighbors- - - at 4:00 a.m,men in. the nearby Morroccan synagogue started chanting the Tosafot !!!When my friend complained that they woke her up I reminded her that nowhere else in the world is there a sound like that; what a treat to be woken up that way!

  But today, most of Netanya is either at the beach or in the parks., altho some stores are open until early afternoon.  The lifeguards are still on duty. The weather is perfect: mostly low 80's;  the Meditteranean is still warm.  I see a mixture of many Russians who enjoy their food and show it- - -  a few French (there are many in Netanya), here for the Hagim in their second homes, and looking much more chic than the Russians,  and a good representation of young Sabras who look terrific.

Thank goodness I saw only 2 jet skis.  None of that horrible zooming sound they make on Long Island Sound.

   There are also lots of men fishing off the jetties at the entrance to Netanya harbor. One man is sitting on his little chair topped by  his little umbrella, close to the shoreline. I think he was half asleep with his fishing rod in his hands. Now that is relaxation!

  But I promise you, no one out in this gorgeous day is thinking about Iran, Bibi, Obama, the coming elections here and in the States or any other worrisome matters.  Israelis know how to shut all of that out and just relish the day.  They are thinking instead that they only have today and tomorrow, the final days of the fall Hagim, and they aren't going to waste them. 

  They will face up to the everyday on Tuesday the 9th.  Time enough to clear out their shelters, to find a gas 

mask distributor, to face their overdrawn checking accounts, and to go back to keeping this counntry safe and in the black.  Unemployment is low, projected growth for the last quarter of the year and the first quarter of the coming year is about 3.5%. As long as Europeans and Americans need Israeli products, especially electronic, pharmaceuticals,and IT, we will be fine here.

 

  Sounds like Utopia, doesn't it.  On days like this it is. 

  Hag Sameach.  Jan  Gaines

Kohelet and Woody: Perfect Together (Times of Israel)

Who is the best Jewish comedian of all time?  My vote goes to Kohelet, author of the biblical book of that name (a.k.a.Ecclesiastes), which is read on the intermediate Shabbat of Sukkot.  While little in the book would qualify as LOL funny (and the author himself equates laughter with madness), the use of irony and wordplay, the in-your-face skepticism and not-so-subtle subversiveness expose the absurdity of life and presage some of the best Jewish comics of the modern era.

Take Henny Youngman’s classic “Take my wife, please.”  He must have read Kohelet 7:26:

And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands; whoso pleases God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.

The constant refrain of Kohelet, that life is a “vanity of vanities” is echoed in Jerry Seinfeld’s “show about nothing.”  Life is pointless.  So we might as well get some laughs.  Or as Seinfeld himself said,  ”Everybody is looking for good sex, good food, and a good laugh because they are little islands of relief in what’s often a very painful existence.”

You can find Kohelet in Mel Brooks, Philip Roth or even the lyrics of “Fiddler on the Roof,” (“Sunrise, Sunset,” chapter 1:5) but Ecclesiastes reads best alongside the works of Woody Allen.  Many have discussed how the more serious films of the mature Allen reflect the absurdities of the book (“Crimes and Misdemeanors” and “Midnight in Paris” come to mind), but we can go back to the early Allen, his Catskills shtick, to find the most direct parallels.

Check out these pairs of quotes, taken from the biblical book and the Woodman.

On identity:

A)     A good name is better than precious oil (Kohelet 7:1)

B)      My only regret in life is that I wasn’t born someone else.

On love:

A)     Two are better than one (4:9)

B)      To love is to suffer.  To avoid suffering one must not love.  But then one suffers from not loving.  Therefore to love is to suffer.  Not to love is to suffer.  To suffer is to suffer.  To be happy is to love.  To be happy, then, is to suffer.  But suffering makes one unhappy.  Therefore to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness (from “Love and Death”)

On wealth:

A)     A lover of money never has his fill of money.  This too is futile (5:9)

B)      Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

On work:

A)     Sow your seed in the morning, and don’t hold back your hand in the evening, since you don’t know which is going to succeed. (11:8)

B)      Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?

On food:

A)     Cast your bread upon the waters: you shall find it after many days. (11:1)

B)      Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

On the unchanging nature of life:

A)      All rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full (1:7)

B)       The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep. (Without Feathers)

On aging:

A)      Appreciate your vigor in the days of your youth (11:10)

B)      Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.

On the cycles of time:

A)     A season is set for everything; a time for every experience under heaven (3:1)

B)      Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

On foolish speculation:

A)     The beginning of a fool’s talk is foolishness, and the end of his talk is mischievous madness. (11:6)

B)      What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

On futility:

A)      All is futility! (1:2)

B)      Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

On death:

A)     It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart (7:2)

B)      I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold it to me.

On sanity:

A)     Don’t overdo goodness…but don’t overdo wickedness and be a fool (7:17)

B)      A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.’ The doctor says, ‘Why don’t you turn him in?’ The guy says, ‘We would. But we need the eggs.’

On crime:

A)     When a crime is not punished quickly, people feel it is safe to do wrong (8:1)

B)      He emerged from the hotel and walked up Eight Avenue. Two men were mugging an elderly lady. My God, thought Weinstein, time was when one person could handle that job.

On God:

C)      Be not overeager to go to the house of God: more acceptable is obedience than the offerings of fools. (4:17)

D)     If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

On possessions and paranting:

A)     Naked he came out of his mother’s womb and naked he will depart (5:14)

B)      I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

On wisdom:

A)     For as wisdom grows, vexation grows; to increase learning is to increase heartbreak (1:18)

B)      More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

On annoyances:

A)      Don’t pay attention to everything that is said, so that you may not hear your slave reviling you (7:22)

B)      What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people.

Kohelet would have loved this Woody Allen version of a Hasidic story:

Rabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi with a long beard, who was said to have inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor. One of his disciples asked, “Who did God like better, Moses or Abraham?”
“Abraham,” the Zaddik said.
“But Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land,” said the disciple.
“All right, so Moses,” the Zaddik answered.

After all, it was Kohelet who advised “Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise,” knowing that a little humility can go a long way, especially regarding what we know and what we think we know.

When it comes to Jews and our home-grown sense of absurdity, there is nothing new under the sun.