Mensch•Mark For Elul 1: A Listening Ear - Sh'miat Ha'ozen
A daily dose of ethical guidance to keep us grounded, in a crazy, untethered year. Today, the quality of listening, and how Judaism stresses, attention, focus, repetition and uni-tasking.
A Listening Ear- Middah Sh'miat Haozen
In an election year, we so often hear citizens commenting on whether or not they “felt heard” by the candidate. And candidates in turn often go on “listening tours” to assess the mood of their constituents. Perhaps the worst criticism one could level at a leader is that they are “tone deaf.” That isn’t a mere metaphor. The ability to listen is crucial in and of itself, as our its corollaries, the abilities to process what one is hearing, to respond cogently, to empathize and, perhaps most foundational, to focus. Differently abled people have varying degrees of proficiency at these skills, but these are also not purely physical abilities. But even when they are, people have remarkable abilities to compensate where those natural skills fall short. On the other hand, some who have perfectly fine hearing are unable to listen at all and lack the capacity to empathize.
So on this first day of our 40-day ascent toward the new year and to menschhood, let’s begin with the middah (ethical quality) of listening.
URJ’s Take: Pay Attention
Samson Raphael Hirsch taught that the 48 middot (attributes) are not gifts that are acquired together with Torah, but the means through which it is possible to acquire Torah. One who strives to learn Torah must acquire and employ these 48 attributes through diligent labor upon their own personality. He further taught that proper, accurate and thorough listening is the first demand made on the learner. Such intentional and accurate listening precludes any carelessness, inattention or distraction by other things. (Chapters of the Fathers, translation and commentary by Samson Raphael Hirsch pp. 103-4).”
Sh'miat Haozen is the "pay attention" middah or virtue. We learn by many senses and focus on acquiring Torah by listening. Regardless of whether one can physically hear or not, we are all capable of listening. One can hear things but still lack understanding. The act of attentive listening takes intention and work on the part of the listener.
- BARBARA BINDER KADDEN
My Take: Listening, Repetition, Uni-Tasking and Judaism’s Central Prayer
Judaism’s most significant prayer is the Sh’ma, “Hear O Israel, the Eternal our God, the Eternal is One.”
That central prayer elevates the art of listening about all the senses. The others are important. What would Shabbat be without the smell of a fresh baked hallah and the sight of two candles glowing in the dark. But a listening, which does not need to be purely physical act, is foundational to all human response. For listening requires focus. The Sh’ma is about focus.
In the Talmud, we hear that when the time for the Sh’ma arrived Rabbi Yehuda would cover his eyes, because he was engaged in other activities. The recitation of the Sh’ma was seen as a moment of deep inward turning and intense concentration. It remains a custom to cover our eyes today when reciting the Sh’ma. There is no multitasking with the Sh’ma. This intense concentration is how we turn a set prayer, one recited at a set time, into something more purpose-filled. Instead of multitasking, we do the opposite. Yes, uni-tasking is a real word (even without the hyphen), and we need to do more of it. Instead of engaging in many tasks at one time, the Sh’ma prescribes that we do the same thing over and over. For many of us, the word “routine” often implies “boring,” but the term actually comes from the word route – a path that we travel. Routine is an adventure along the beaten path, along the road MORE travelled.
The Sh’ma says, “Teach your children and speak of these sacred words.” But it doesn’t really say "teach.” V’shanantam means repeat. Don’t just teach this to your child once. Do it a second time. Rinse and Repeat. Again and again. We have another word for repetition. Ritual. Daily prayer, weekly Sabbath, seasonal holidays, annual gatherings like this – that’s the Jewish way of dealing with the chaos of our world. Through discipline, repetition and focus.
Click here to see a wide variety of perspectives and translations of the Sh’ma.
See my book, Menschmarks: Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi
Excerpt from “The Spirituality of Listening,” by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
Time and again in the last month of his life Moses told the people, Shema: listen, heed, pay attention. Hear what I am saying. Hear what God is saying. Listen to what He wants from us. If you would only listen … Judaism is a religion of listening. This is one of its most original contributions to civilization.
…Speaking and listening are not forms of detachment. They are forms of engagement. They create a relationship. The Hebrew word for knowledge, da’at, implies involvement, closeness, intimacy. “And Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and gave birth” (Gen. 4:1). That is knowing in the Hebrew sense, not the Greek. We can enter into a relationship with God, even though He is infinite and we are finite, because we are linked by words. In revelation, God speaks to us. In prayer, we speak to God. If you want to understand any relationship, between husband and wife, or parent and child, or employer and employee, pay close attention to how they speak and listen to one another. Ignore everything else.
Listening lies at the very heart of relationship. It means that we are open to the other, that we respect him or her, that their perceptions and feelings matter to us. We give them permission to be honest, even if this means making ourselves vulnerable in so doing. A good parent listens to their child. A good employer listens to his or her workers. A good company listens to its customers or clients. A good leader listens to those he or she leads. Listening does not mean agreeing but it does mean caring. Listening is the climate in which love and respect grow.
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