[Charlie Kirk Update] Time to Flood the Zone with Empathy.
What’s relevant to Signalgate is not whether the participants were evil or incompetent but that they were not capable of imagining a pilot's widow. Here's a simple strategy to thwart Trumpism.
I’m sending out again a piece I wrote a few months ago in light of the shocking, unforgivable assassination of Charlie Kirk. I agreed with Kirk on basically nothing, but there is no excuse for political violence. And the best response is an outrage directed exclusively at the culture of outrage rather than at any particular group.
One particular comment of Kirk’s has been featured in the social media conversations following his shooting: Kirk once said, "I can't stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term that — it does a lot of damage."
He then went on to say that he prefers “sympathy,” a more detached feeling, to empathy, which involves a deeper striving for emotional attachment, presumably unbecoming for a true alpha male. The quote has been fact checked (click here to see it on video) and is authentic.
I’m not sending this out as a way of having the last word in an argument that he can no longer participate in. It’s to point out the dangers of a world without empathy. I feel for his family right now, and all his fans. There is nothing condescending about opening up and empathizing. Last I heard, hugs were allowed among Christian nationalists. We should take that universal gesture of humanity and run with it. Have you hugged a conservative Christian today? MAGA needs some empathy right now.
So take a look at what I had to say about this topic back in March.
Finally, a request that President Trump cease and desist from politicizing this murder. His words from the Oval Office yesterday, singling out “the radical left” and all but blaming Democrats for murder, were uncalled for. Compare his words to those of President Bush, also featured in this video below:
Lest we forget, the Kristallnacht riots in 1938 began with an assassination of a Nazi diplomat in Paris by a Jewish teen, an incident ginned up by Goebbels into “spontaneous” nationwide attacks in Germany on the Jewish population. This is a time for leaders not to stoke division, but to calm things down.
And that all begins with empathy. Here’s my prior piece:
Do not judge your fellow until you can put yourself in their place - Talmud, Avot 2:5
Elon Musk has told us point blank what every sociopath knows: the real enemy for him is not woke-ness or inconvenient alliances or common sense gun laws or a compassionate-but-secure immigration policy, or D.E.I. or a social safety net for seniors and vets. The real enemy, the one at the root of all of these, and it’s the one thing that a billionaire narcissist can never buy or steal, is empathy.1
BTW, I’m not labeling Trump. Musk and co. as narcissistic sociopaths. A lack of empathy is not sufficient for that diagnosis. But it doesn’t hurt!
Musk said the following to Joe Rogen, and CNN sent this headline out to the world:
“Elon Musk wants to save Western civilization from empathy”
On Rogen’s podcast, Musk said, quoting Canadian scholar Gad Saad, “We’ve got civilizational suicidal empathy going on.”
While Musk claimed that “you should care about other people,” CNN reports that he also thinks empathy’s destroying society:
“The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy, the empathy exploit,” Musk said. “There it’s they’re exploiting a bug in Western civilization, which is the empathy response.”
Empathy, he said, has been “weaponized.”
It certainly has. And it’s the one weapon a sociopath can never acquire for himself. It can’t be bought. And therefore, in the sociopath’s mind, it must be destroyed. And therefore, we normal people should aim to mass-produce it like Ukraine manufactures drones. Empathy is our greatest weapon.
Before we laugh Musk’s War on Empathy off as a watered-down plot of an Ayn Rand novel, we should note that the author of The Fountainhead actually had a more nuanced view of compassion than the cartoonish Musk and his colleagues, who are so obviously living out their pimply dorm room fantasies pretending to be her heroic Masters of the Universe.
In an interview in 1964, Rand told Playboy, “I regard compassion as proper only toward those who are innocent victims, but not toward those who are morally guilty.” At least for Rand, empathy was proper in some cases, whereas for Musk, not so much. Not even at a death camp. It was after a photo-op visit to Auschwitz, of all places, that his biographer labeled him a sociopath. Yahoo reported that Julia Gray, the partner of Gidon Lev, the 89-year-old Holocaust survivor who was the guest of honor at Musk’s much-publicized visit to the death camp, shared a “scathing perspective” on the event.
“I chatted with Elon Musk. I spent hours with him and walked with him through Auschwitz. I stood with him, looking at the nauseating heaps of hair, luggage, and shoes flooded with violet light meant to preserve it,” Julie Gray wrote on Facebook.
“Is Musk an antisemite?” she continued. “People, actually, it’s worse—he doesn’t care whatsoever… He was unmoved by the experience.”
Musk’s antisemitic, pro-Nazi leanings are well-documented. But to disdain empathy also flies in the face of thousands of years of Jewish wisdom.
It is anti-Jewish to shun empathy.
This passage from the Talmudic tractate Avot is case in point:
This verse is a perfect example of how the Jewish ethos is based on the notion that all creatures are linked in a web of interdependence. Blogger Natalia Cervantes notes that the Hebrew word for empathy is Rachamim, which is derived from the word "rechem," meaning womb. “Empathy is this idea of our ability to connect with others on a deep and nurturing level, similar to the bond between a mother and her child.”
Musk believes all empathy is weakness. No love of another is allowed, save for the love of Dear Leader. For MAGAniks, empathy is at the root of all evil, precisely the opposite of what psychologist Gustav Mark Gilbert said after he interviewed Nazi leaders during the Nuremberg trials:
“I told you once that I was searching for the nature of evil,” Gilbert wrote. “I think I’ve come close to defining it: a lack of empathy. It’s the one characteristic that connects all the defendants. A genuine incapacity to feel with their fellow man. Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy.”
As we juggle the question as to whether this administration is premeditatively evil or blissfully incompetent, I agree with the point made by Paul Krugman:
My answer is both. Musk is incompetent and evil. He suffers from billionaire brain — that special blend of ignorance and arrogance that occurs all too frequently in men who believe that their success in accumulating personal wealth means that they understand everything, no need to do any homework. But he also clearly detests anything that makes life better for non-billionaires.
Yes, Musk, Trump plus the cast of characters (minus Jeffrey Goldberg) on the Signal chat - they’re all ignorant and arrogant. But the common thread that runs through ignorance and arrogance is that, if they cared just a whit about someone beyond themselves, like, say, an American pilot flying over Yemen - and his potential widow - the whole ignorance vs. arrogance conversation would be purely theoretical. What’s relevant to the Signal scandal is that they were not capable of caring, not whether they are wicked or stupid. If they possessed even an ounce of consideration, they would have moved the chat to a more secure space to avoid having to notify a widow that her partner was shot down.
I believe we have entered a world of connection rather than separation and distinction. Right now we are living in the birth pangs of this interconnected world…We are all woven into the same human tapestry – if you scrape, I bleed. If you mourn, we all mourn.
My dogs are neither as smart nor as selfish as most people, but damn, they are empathic. And that makes them better beings than these Signaliens. They have trained me to be more caring too, to put myself in other’s paws. As I dealt with various internal plumbing issues after my recent prostate surgery, my dogs looked at me and seemed to be saying, with their wide eyes, “You got this, Dad! As puppies, we were housebroken in record time. We know you can do it, just like us!”
My dogs showed more compassion for me when I came home from the hospital than Elon Musk showed for Holocaust victims at Auschwitz. And when it came time for their housebreaking, the dogs cared, therefore they held it in. They also wanted treats. But when I think of the self-control they needed to generate as puppies, with no prior experience to fall back on, I can only see it as an act of love - whether more for me or treats is another matter.
Torture them with Love.
And that’s how we beat back this plague of Trumpism. Demonstrations help. Political posturing, fundraising and media messaging have their place. Winning a few races and court cases will help enormously. But that’s the playing field Trump, Musk and Co. are used to being on. They can’t compete on the field of empathy, which is why they are constantly demeaning it. They insult empathy more than they pick on Biden.
Kill ‘em with kindness. Torture them with acts of love.
“Let them know that they matter”
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks said empathy is “seeing the world through someone else’s eyes, entering into their feelings, and acting in such a way as to let them know that they are understood, that they are heard, that they matter.”
It is a core value of Judaism and of many world religions.2 Some say Judaism has an “empathy gene.” But for MAGA, it’s more like nails on a chalkboard. For the vast majority, empathy soothes, but for those with E.D.S., it seethes. It screeches.
Yes, Musk, Trump and the entire cast of characters on the Signal chat - they’re all ignorant and arrogant. But the common thread that runs through ignorance and arrogance is that, if they cared just a whit about someone beyond themselves, like, say, an American pilot flying over Yemen, the whole ignorance vs. arrogance conversation would be purely theoretical.
The ultimate victory will come as we integrate more compassion into our conversations, using words Trump - and others with Empathy Derangement Syndrome - might soon want to ban.
Here are a few phrases to get you started:3
It must be hard be for you.
This is a really challenging time for you.
I am sorry for your loss.
It’s understandable that you would feel
disappointed by this.The sadness you must feel isn’t easy to put into
words.From what you have said, it is clear why you’d
be angry about that.I’m sorry for the suffering I caused you.
I apologize for my actions.
I strengthen my empathy muscle by looking at the comments and Substack profiles of those of my subscribers who choose to tell a little about themselves. And you give me so much strength. Here’s a sampling:
I am a very liberal older adult who wants to leave this planet a better place for the next generation. I enjoy the outdoors and spending my time at the ocean.
Chicagoan. Desperately hoping America returns to sanity and truth / our rule of law can again dominate our thinking and directions of government.
I’m a senior hippie (is that redundant?) who still believes in peace and love and rock’n’roll. We must bring back peace and love and kindness for all humans. NOW!
Nothing gives me a greater sense of connection than the caring I find in this community. We’re all in this together.
If you want to assess your own degree of empathy, take this simple test from Psychology Today. It’s a little cheesy, but worth a look. Here are a few of the questions. Rate yourself 1-5 on how much you agree with these statements:
I am joyful when other people feel joyful.
I feel bad for others when they struggle to meet their own goals.
I want to hear my friend's problems.
I feel compassionate toward people who haven't had many good breaks in life.
I feel sorry for people who experience misfortune.
I feel embarrassed when other people feel embarrassed.
I feel distress when I see someone being bullied.
I try to think about the other person's feelings before giving them feedback
I believe that is where we will end up when the correction hopefully occurs and Trumpism is neutralized. For as I’ve written in my recent book about the aftermath of the Holocaust, we've reached a different place in the evolution of human civilization. I believe we have entered a world of connection rather than separation and distinction. Right now we are living in the birth pangs of this interconnected world.
When young Jews ask me why they should remain Jewish, I point to the special role of the Jewish people in forging such a world. Conspiracy theorists bemoan interdependence as “globalism” and try to paint it as evil, but that’s because they are petrified of it. Meanwhile, some Jews, including those on the far right in Israel and America, prefer that Jews separate, insulate and - in some cases - dominate, and that is also not the answer.
Because Jews are meant to build bridges between peoples. We connect the dots of humanity. We are the glue in the mosaic. We are the strand, the thread that holds together the tapestry, the ligament that will reassemble Ezekiel’s dry bones. That has always been our role, but never more than now. Which is why it is so important to be demonstrating love, compassion and hope at this crucial moment.4
It's like the way I instruct mourners not to thank those who come to visit them during shiva. Of course gratitude is natural. But when I visit your shiva, I’m not doing it out of pity or professional obligation. Neither is your neighbor. When we come to comfort you, we’re binding our own wounds, because we are all woven into the same human tapestry. If you scrape, I bleed. If you mourn, we all mourn.
We need to pepper them with empathy for one additional reason:
Elie Wiesel often told a parable about the man who stood at the entrance of Sodom, crying out against the injustice and evil in that city. A passerby said to him, “For years you have been urging the people to repent, and yet no one has changed. Why do you continue?” He responded: “When I first came, I protested because I hoped to change the people of Sodom. Now I continue to cry out, because if I don’t, they will have changed me.”
We can’t let ourselves be infected by the disease that afflicts those who would let a fighter pilot die in vain because they simply don’t care.
Please share your suggestions on how we can flood the zone with empathy. Each demonstration will be a small victory for humanity.
These victories will add up.
And before you go, a bonus for the weekend. Some headlines from today’s papers reminding us of our deeper connections to the world around us and the enduring cycles of nature and time. Time to reconnect and put ourselves in other’s shoes.
I just noticed that my fellow Substacker Paul Waldman picked up on those same signals this week, regarding how the War on Empathy is uniting the right.
See these quotes from world faith traditions at - https://www.reviewofreligions.org/38098/world-faiths-compassion/
Allah is Benignant to His servants. He provides for whom He pleases. And He is the Powerful, the Mighty.
Islam, The Holy Qur’an, 42:20
The believers in their love, kindness and compassion towards each other are like the human body; when one of its limbs is afflicted the whole of it is involved both in waking and in fever.
Islam, The Holy Prophet (sa), Hadith of Sahih al-Bukhari
My countrymen, a religion which does not inculcate universal compassion is no religion at all. Similarly, a human being without the faculty of compassion is no human at all. Our God has never discriminated between one people and another.
Islam, The Promised Messiah (as), A Message of Peace, P. 6
The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.
Judaism, The Hebrew Bible, Psalm 145:8-9
Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.
Christianity, The Bible, 1 Peter 3:8
The great compassionate heart is the essence of Buddhahood.
Buddhism, Gandavyuha Sutra
One attempting to express God’s creation and to contemplate it
Shall find it beyond counting and innumerable.
The Bull of Dharma is born of compassion;
Content of mind holds creation together.
Whoever understands this is enlightened;
How great is the load under which this Bull stands!
Sikhism, Adi Granth, Japuji 16, M.1, P. 3
To love is to know Me,
My innermost nature,
The truth that I am.
Hinduism, Bhagavad Gita, 18:55
Here are the rest of the 32 phrases:
It must be hard be for you.
This is a really challenging time for you.
I am sorry for your loss.
It’s understandable that you would feel
disappointed by this.The sadness you must feel isn’t easy to put into
words.From what you have said, it is clear why you’d
be angry about that.I’m sorry for the suffering I caused you.
I apologise for my actions.
Of course, you feel irritated, angry, sad etc.
So, you feel aggrieved that you were treated in
this way.Your anger/ sadness/ unhappiness etc makes total
sense to me.You’re stuck in a tricky situation here and I
see why you feel ….I feel sad to hear that you experienced this.
It seems so unfair that you went through this.
I wish I could do something to help you.
What can I do to help you?
Would you like a hug?
How can I make things better for you?
If you want to cry, I will sit with you and hold
your hand.I will sit with you and listen to your fears.
You don’t have to justify why you did what you
did.You don’t have to justify or explain how you
feel. It makes sense.If you don’t want to talk, it’s ok, I’ll just
sit with you.I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.
Thank you for telling me this.
What has this been like for you?
How are you feeling about it?
I love you, no matter what.
I am proud of you.
As I listen to you, it makes me feel …
I am here for you, no matter what.
I can see that you are upset.
See this sermon on the topic (Kol Nidre 2017) and my book, Embracing Auschwitz (chapter 7)
Empathy can not be felt when a person believes they are superior to others. The Christian white nationalists believe that if you do not believe the same as them or look like them, you are an inferior race; thus, they are not able to have any empathy for anyone outside of their group. Trump proves this and has always inspired violence against anyone who does not agree with him or obey his wishes! Empathetic people do not ever wish harm to anyone, even animals! We must stop electing leaders who are not empathetic, and we must call out when they show they are not!
I would just like to mention your caption on the two ducks swimming on the creek. You mentioned that the Mallard must be a DEI addition. They are both ducks, Mallards. A married couple in the traditional style. One beautifully painted male with his lovely unadorned wife. My empathy is worm very thin but still in tact. Thanks for chiming in this morning. We need you these days more than ever.