A Tale of Two Bar Mitzvahs - Shabbat O Gram for June 12

Shabbat-O-Gram 

 

  

Shabbat Shalom

Friday night at 7 PM we will at long last be hearing from Marcia Lane, as part of our "This American Jewish Life" series.  Read her fascinating bio. We also welcome backKatie Kaplan and David Bravo.  

A reminder of the unforgettable evening of music and memories that awaits us at this Sunday night's Cantor's Concert. As if that isn't enough, toward the end, we'll also have an important announcement to make.

Also, you won't want to miss next week, Friday the 19^th, our Pride Shabbat.  We'll have some special guests, superb musicians Alicia Svigals and Uri Sharlin. Alicia is the world's leading klezmer fiddler and a founder of the Grammy-winning Klezmatics (her bio is beyond belief).  She is also very active within the LGBT community. Uri enthralled us just a couple of weeks ago playing keyboard and accordion.

And the following week, June 26^th, we celebrate our High School graduates while also hearing from noted expert on Israel advocacy on campus, Linda Scherzer, former CNN reporter and founding director of the Write on for Israel" program.  All high school and college students and their parents are encouraged to come to this very important program.  Since Shabbat starts late, we are also planning to take some reunion photos of our students (it's always fun to compare our 12^th grade graduates now to what they looked like then...)

And please note that as of July 3, our Friday services will be returning to the 7:30 start time.

Speaking of graduations, up top is a photo of our recent 7^th grade graduates, courtesy of photographer Fred Canpolat.  See all the graduation photos and their complete Lifecycle Album here.

A Tale of Two Bar Mitzvahs

 

 
 

It was the best of Shabbats and the worst of Shabbats.

Here at Beth El last Shabbat, Jewels Harrison, challenged by autism and unable to speak a word until he was three, was able to fulfill a dream in becoming bar mitzvah.  He read Torah and led prayers, inspiring hundreds who attended and many, many others who have since heard about it. The service was attended by a member of the US Congress and a number of community leaders.

Meanwhile, we found out after Shabbat that a bar mitzvah for autistic students in Israel was cancelled and the kids' hopes dashed, by none other than the President of Israel, who followed in the footsteps of the Rehovot's mayor in scuttling the plans, for the simple reason that the service would have involved a Masorti (Conservative) rabbi. This betrayal, on top of the Rehovot betrayal, has infuriated many people.

This week, the leadership of the Conservative Movement reacted in an unprecedentedly unrestrained manner after the most recent humiliation.

Please read that letter in its entirety, as it gives needed background information.

 

Also, read this posting on the New York Times blog from a leading Israeli journalist.

And below is a letter being circulated among Conservative congregations:

Dear Friends,

Yesterday, you received an email about the regrettable actions of Israeli President Rivlin, which demonstrated disdain and disrespect for the more than two million Conservative Jews around the world, many of whom work tirelessly for Israel, lead some of the most important Jewish organizations in the country and are loyal and steadfast supporters of the Jewish State.

Today, we are asking you to add your voice to the chorus of outrage by sending the following email to one or all of these addresses:

public@president.gov.il lishka@president.gov.il htubi@president.gov.il As we are commanded by our tradition to speak out in the face of injustice, we believe that the volume of voices raised in protest may help President Rivlin reverse his wrongheadedness. In this spirit, please become an activist for the cause of religious pluralism in Israel. Write to President Rivlin - there's an email template below for your convenience.  Post this on your Facebook page. Ask your friends to do the same.  Ask your rabbi to speak about it from the bimah. Write something for your synagogue bulletin and e-newsletter. Alert your Federations.      Take action now, send an email to President Rivlin.   The Masorti Foundation

I only hope that the Israeli government does not underestimate the anger that this callous action has caused on this side of the pond. It's one thing to constantly humiliate non-Orthodox clergy, who have come to expect such treatment - perhaps to a fault. It's one thing to humiliate prospective converts or those who pine for civil marriage. They've gotten used to shipping off to Cyprus or some such. It's one thing to keep us from praying in our authentic, egalitarian manner at the Kotel, and to arrest our women and pummel those men who dare to help them.  But it's another to callously dash the hopes of the disabled.

The President's office is feeling the heat.  I texted with a member of his staff on Wednesday and he was very concerned that after Rivlin gave a major address (and ahvery important and good one, on changing Israeli demographics) at this week's Herzliya conference, the press asked only about this incident.  The staffer said that if I bring a million Conservative Jews to Israel on aliyah, then life will become very different for the non-Orthodox streams.  That's not an appropriate response, even if it is the unfortunate political reality.  Israel is the state of all the Jewish people, not just those who live there - at least that's what the Prime Minister keeps on saying.  Rivlin has done a very good job at uniting Israelis. He does care about the disabled.  He also cares about Israel's image.  So do I.  He is a good and decent man, who does listen.

Please take action.  We need for him to listen now.

----------------------------------------------------

 

In light of the Rehovot mess, the contrast with what happened here last Shabbat cannot be greater.

Mary Harrison, Jewels' mom, gave a stirring speech last week.  She cited current statistics, which show that 1 in 68 children born today is diagnosed with autism.  In 1975, it was roughly one in 5,000.  We do not know why the surge has been that dramatic, but, according to Stephanie Seneff, research scientist for MIT, by 2025 one in two children will be autistic.  To date, there is no cure. The cause is unknown.

Then Mary added:

"Autism does not discriminate, autism doesn't care what a person's religion or race is; it doesn't care where you live, or economic circumstances, autism has no regard for heritage.    It affects any and all demographics.

Those on the autism spectrum might very well be the most misunderstood and misrepresented group in our society today.   We live in a time where we are most comfortable slapping a label and writing a prescription.   Where devices have replaced direct communication."

Mary then spoke of a recent conversation, where the topic came up about whether children with autism can actually understand God.

"I believe God made us and has placed in each person a desire for truth and justice, for love and compassion.  It's like we are all born with a missing part that only God can fill. Jewels from an early age seem to naturally connect to God."

And indeed, from infancy, Jewels was exceedingly comfortable here and people always were welcoming of him. I can't recall a single "shush," as he would run around and sing Hebrew melodies. He enjoyed being at services, and especially delighted in the music.

His exuberance reminded me of a time when my son Daniel (who, in case you didn't hear it yet from the eternally kvelling dad, recently graduated from college) was just three. One morning, I brought him to minyan. Midway through the Kedusha he abruptly left our row and began running circles in the aisle, singing out letters of the alef-bet.

Embarrassed, I coaxed him back to his seat.

Later he told Mara, "Daddy didn't want me to dance at temple today."

It made me think of how we drain all our kids of the passion, the pulp of prayer, the pure joy, and how only the lucky few survive to reclaim it when they are older.

Jewels helped the rest of us to see what the pure oxygen of prayer can be. Few of us can ever get to his degree of spiritual joy. But in order for our communities to get there, we need him as much as he needs us - if not more.

The kind of support Jewels Harrison received has been callously snatched from the students in Rehovot. For pettiest of purposes, the President of Israel has kept some treasured children from dancing and singing before God.

He may have intended to slap down a few Conservative Jews, but his real victim has been joy itself.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

TBE Potluck Policies

Guidelines for TBE Potluck Dinners

We’re delighted you can join us at Temple Beth El for a potluck Shabbat or festival dinner. Most Potluck dinners will begin at 6:00 PM. You are also most welcome to join us for our spirited Kabbalat Shabbat Eve service, which begins at 7:30. Please take a look at our guidelines if you wish to prepare a dish; if you have any further questions, do not hesitate to contact Rabbi Hammerman at rabbi@tbe.org.

Please bring a dairy or “pareve” entrée or salad dish. It can be prepared at home, and the
kitchen does not have to be kosher. If you are purchasing prepared foods from a caterer or supermarket, however, please look for kosher certification (called “hechsher”).
Whether or not your kitchen is kosher, please aim to use ingredients that are kosher (no
shellfish, for instance). 

Following the practice that has worked well elsewhere, we’ll have two buffet tables for the food. One will be marked “Vegetarian,” for food prepared in kitchens that aren’t kosher or if you simply aren’t sure. The other table will be marked “Vegetarian, with Hechsher,” for food that is purchased as well as food prepared in kosher kitchens. This way, everyone can feel comfortable. Those without kosher kitchens can be valued contributors to the dinner and those who keep strictly kosher can eat freely without concern. We don’t require rsvps, but we would love to know that you are coming (and with whom and how many) and what you are (literally) bringing to the table! So do reply, if you can, to our web sign up page, with your name(s) and your dish. Also let us know if you are interested in helping to plan future TBE potluck dinners.

All are welcome to attend. Please, please let your friends know about this, as we hope to fill a major void in our community, by giving young Jews a chance to have a comfortable Shabbat experience on their own terms, without coercion or discomfort – and free! Everyone is welcome here. The more the merrier!

Please plan to bring a main course, side dish or salad – but if you wish to bring a dessert in
addition, that’s great. Desserts can be either dairy or pareve, but they should be marked
accordingly. We’ll also be providing dessert and drinks.

Some other guidelines:

 Non kosher ingredients include (but are not limited to) lard, animal shortening, or suet.
(Watch out for pie crusts - many of them contain lard.) Watch out for "shortening," it
should specify "vegetable shortening." Also, products with glycerin or gelatin should
only be purchased with kashrut certification.

 Please bring all items in new plastic or foil containers with new plastic serving utensils.

 Please label what it is you’ve made/bought and highlight any dietary issues that people
might need to know (nut free or gluten free, for instance)

 When you arrive at the synagogue, please place the dish on the appropriate buffet table
(and then feel free to head into services).

 It is OK to bring things in on Shabbat, but we ask that items be cooked or bought before
Shabbat or the festival begins

 Our kitchens will remain closed.

 All standard Kosher symbols are acceptable as “Hechsher,” but a simple K on an item is
not.

 No meat or poultry or products with those ingredients, even if kosher.

 No shellfish or non-kosher fish.

 All non-meat products with kashrut certification are acceptable.

 For ritual purposes (e.g. kiddush, havdalah), wine and grape juice should have kashrut
certification. Since this is a Shabbat meal, we ask that if you bring wine, that it be
kosher. There are excellent kosher wines out there – we’ve gone way beyond that
gloppy concord grape stuff.

 All cheeses, even those in which rennet is used as a curdling agent, are acceptable, even
without kashrut certification.

 If you buy bread or prepared foods from a bakery or take-out establishment, please
inquire as to the ingredients used.

 Please take home the leftovers after the meal. If significant food remains, you might
want to consider donating it to a local agency or shelter. Once we get this program
rolling, we might consider asking people to bring cans of food to donate as an
“admission cost” since this is an otherwise free event.

 We would love to hear your ideas for future potluck dinners. Our goal is to begin doing
these regularly, and possibly to include speakers, Israeli dancing or other “extras.” But
the main goal is fellowship – the chance to schmooze, eat and celebrate being Jewish
and free, and in that way to sample the holiness of Shabbat.

Thanks, and we look forward to sharing our community potluck dinners with you!
I look forward to welcoming you here.

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Mary Harrison's comments at Jewels' Bar Mitzvah

Shabbat Shalom.

Mazel Tov Jewels!  You have done a remarkable job leading the congregation in prayer and song.  Dad and I are very, very proud of you.

I thank you all for bearing witness today of what can happen in the community when we all work together for the benefit of our children and adults with special needs.  You have heard me say, autism does not discriminate, autism doesn’t care what a person’s religion or race is; it doesn’t care where you live, or economic circumstances, autism has no regard for heritage.    It affects any and all demographics.  The current statistic is 1 in 68 children born today is diagnosed with autism.  Let me put this into perspective: In 1975, it was roughly one in 5,000. 

But according to Stephanie Seneff, research scientist for MIT by 2025 one in two children will be autistic.  The scary reality is that, to date, the cause has not been determined, nor is there a cure.

Those on the autism spectrum might very well be the most misunderstood and misrepresented group in our society today.   We live in a time where we are most comfortable slapping a label and writing a prescription.   Where devices have replaced direct communication.

In a recent conversation the topic came up about whether children with autism can actually understand God.   I believe God made us and has placed in each person a desire for truth and justice, for love and compassion.  it’s like we are all born with a missing part that only God can fill.    

Jewels from an early age seem to naturally connect to God.  He would sing Hebrew melodies when neither Dave nor I understood the lyrics.  He enjoyed being at services, and especially delighted in the music.   Music the universal language became his mode of communication.  Rabbi Hammerman, you have been incredibly welcoming; you created a space for Jewels and for children like him at Temple Beth El.   Cantor Fishman,thank you for courageously jumping in to help bring him up to speed on his prayers.  And, and many thanks to Cantor George Mordecai for helping us to get started on this amazing journey, for providing the music and for his support in the initial stages of preparation. .

Dave and I have benefited from the many friends, teachers, therapists, classroom teacher’s aides, and van drivers who each day choose to get into the trenches to work with our kids.  Their patience and commitment are to be applauded.   It is from these individuals I have learned how to parent a child with autism.    Many of these men and woman have children of their own and oftentimes they are the ones I’ve turned to for advice on behaviors, skills for daily living and help on academics.   Thank you Jeanine Sam and Matthew MacDonald for working with me at home during practice sessions.   I would be lying if I said it is easy.  It is not, but it is by far the most rewarding job I’ve ever had, bar none.  And I have met some of the best, most giving individuals on my journey….

Today, my cup is full.  Because of you – members of Temple Beth El, who stood by my side when my mom passed on I was only 4 months pregnant with Jewels.  You taught me how to mourn and how to remember.   Your members suggested the Birth to Three Program, when I knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what to do.  Thanks Allison Greenbaum.  You encouraged me to look into further assessments and therapies without using the dreaded A for Autism word, because you knew we just couldn’t handle it at the time.  Thank you Meryl Aronin, of Blessed memory.

Supporters of Jewish Federation should be proud of what this wonderful organization does, not only here in Connecticut but also in other states and around the world.  Jewels and I went to California for about 3 months, it was Federation that connected us to resources within the community and other families like us, and to a wonderful Hebrew teacher for Jewels, who crossed the country to support Jewels on this special day. Thank you Mazel.   Because of you and your colleagues, we felt right at home despite being so far from friends and family. 

 If it wasn’t for autism, I probably would never have met the Warrior moms from the various support groups headed by  Judi Anders, Sped Net, New Canaan and Michelle, TACA. 

Autism moms are loving and tough.  I have worked in the corporate and non-profit sectors; I don’t think I have ever encountered such fierce fighters as the moms of children with special needs.  And for those unable to be in battle, they are given extra support .  It really has become for us, an “IDEAL Community”. 

Finally there is a little known group of women I owe a word of thanks, you ladies that meet in New Canaan for Love Club.   You are mostly members of the Mormon Church.  Your kindness is far reaching.   Without you, Jewels would never have been introduced to Neil Moore, the founder and director of the Simply Music program, who is featuring Jewels as a model for the new Gateway program that’s being developed to help individuals of all abilities.  This program will be offered free to children worldwide.

So you see, it takes many communities, towns, states, and yes a country committed to helping this population.   I encourage everyone to look for opportunities to become involved- one person – and one day at a time.  And not just moms, but also hockey Dads and their teenage kids, I urge you to volunteer for programs like Connecticut Storm, a special needs hockey team.   There are many organizations that help children and adults based on their conditions.  Do consider getting involved.  Together we CAN lift each other UP .

One of the biggest concerns facing families today is what happens when our kids become of age.  When they become 21, they exit the system, are given a diploma and issued well wishes.    When we were in California, Jewels was asked to play the keyboard at a group home for adults with special needs.   Our experience was wonderful.   We experienced a bit of heaven.   He didn’t want to leave.   

Jewels loves to sing, and from time to time I would recognize the tune.  He would memorize songs from the radio, songs heard on the streets etc..  A couple of weeks ago, I heard him sing a song he had heard on the radio.  He’d been singing it  A LOT.  In fact, it’s not unusual for him to start a piano lesson with a tune in “his head”. His teacher recognized the song, and gave me the words, the following week.  It goes like this:

There’s Hope in front of me; there’s a light, I still see it, there’s a hand that’s holding me, even when I don’t believe it.   

There’s hope in front of our kids:  for Will, Alex, Elizabeth, for Cos, Michael, and Brandon, for Johnny, Joey, and Jewels and for all those names not mentioned but are on the heart of God.   My Dad used to tell us, the importance of trusting God’s heart when we cannot trace His hands.   Now as an adult I understand.  The children of Israel had to first step into the Red Sea (or the Sea of Reeds) before God did the awesome act of parting the waters. 

We must  believe the future will be better for our kids, and express that through action, and NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

Shabbat Shalom

TBE Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary: Charlie Wallace on Naso

Shabbat Shalom!

In my portion of Naso, we read about someone called a Nazarite. There are no Nazerites anymore, but a long time ago they were very important.  In fact, my haftarah is all about a Nazarite named Samson.

So what is a Nazerite? A Nazerite is someone who stays pure by avoiding wine and not cutting his hair for a year. For me, I think that being pure is being myself and loving what I do, and what I love to do, is reading Hebrew!

I like to read Hebrew because I can make my family proud and for taking on the challenge of actually reading it. I think that taking on challenges plays a big role with the Nazarites because staying pure can be quite a challenge in my opinion. Back in the biblical times, I think I would be one of the best Nazarites, maybe even better than Samson!

I am dedicating my mitzvah project to my dog Lucy who died last year, by raising money to help Animal Friends Of Connecticut.

Jewels, Miriam... and Caitlin / Shabbat-O-Gram for June 5

Shabbat-O-Gram 

Thank you to David and Mary Harrison for sponsoring this week’s Shabbat announcements and Shabbat-O-Gram in honor of Jewels’ bar mitzvah this Shabbat.  Mazal tov to Jewels and his family!  

And please join us for this special celebration Shabbat. Tonight, our guest musicians will be Asaf Gleizner....and Jewels Harrison! Incidentally, Jewels would love it you sing along when he plays “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” You can print out the lyrics here.

First, some quick notes.

• Best of luck to all who are participating in this Sunday’s Hope in Motion walk! We have an incredible lineup of walkers in TBE’s group, and many others from our congregation will be walking with other groups.  Thank you all for taking our Jewish ideals and translating them into world-repairing action.
• Next Friday night we will at long last be hearing from Marcia Lane, as part of our “This American Jewish Life series.  She was postponed this past winter. And mark your calendars for Friday the 19^th, our Pride Shabbat. And the following week, the 26^th, we celebrate our High School graduates while also hearing from noted expert on Israel advocacy on campus, Linda Scherzer, former CNN reporter and current director of the Write on for Israel” program.
• Service Times: Nearly 100 responded to our quick survey about service start times, an indicator of great interest in our Friday night services.  One clear signal sent was that there is a far greater likelihood of getting more people to a 7:30 service, while inconveniencing fewer.  Since the service has been building attendance even at or experimental time of 7, we see real possibilities for a significant attendance bump with a switch.  So, our senior staff, augmented by our ritual co-chair and incoming president, deliberated on this and decided that the best tack right now would be to shift back to a 7:30 start time beginning next month - in July. The board was apprised of this on Wed night.  Our goal is to have more Shabbat dinners here before the service, including potluck, to make it more convenient for people, especially families with younger children.  (Some have asked me about our potluck policy, which is based on the successful “Two Tables” model used in other Conservative shuls. Our current policy was introduced in 2009. See that policy here.  BOTTOM LINE - IN JULY, SERVICES RETURN TO 7:30.
• Two key conferences take place next week, regarding Israel, the Middle East and world Jewry.   Both will offer livestreaming opportunities.  The 15^th Herzliya Conference features plenaries on strategic issues.  See the impressive schedule here.  The AJC Global Forum speaks of Israel and the Jewish world, as other global issues.  Here is their schedule.  Check the websites for livestream options. Meanwhile, the new Israeli government coalition poses deep threats to religious pluralism in Israel - a situation that was already tenuous - but coalition agreements with Haredi parties will make things much worse. Click here for a full analysis by a new watchdog group called “Hiddush.”
• You’ve received a number of reminders regarding the Cantor’s Concert next weekend.  There is still time to click here and send the cantor a message of welcome in our journal.  I recall a year ago when we were in the midst of the cantorial search, and how much I was moved by this column by the noted columnist David Suissa (one with admittedly Orthodox leanings and a general preference for male hazzanim.  He wrote: “With the Los Angeles sunset framing her angelic face, Fishman picked up her trumpet and played a slow and moving solo that opened the evening. Then we all sang "Shalom Aleichem."I confess -- I felt a frisson of spirituality. I know "spirituality" is a nebulous term, so I'll say it more clearly: I lost myself. I stopped thinking and started feeling. It helped that every time I looked up at Fishman, she also looked lost. Lost in her prayers, her melodies and the moment. She was receiving from God as much as she was giving to us.” One year later, I couldn’t agree more.
• This Tuesday is the last Learning and Latte of the season.  Our monthly interfaith dialogue takes place at the High Ridge Diner at 7:30. This month’s topic is “Life Transitions.” We were thinking about this being a time of graduations, weddings, etc., but little did we know how much conversation there would be about other kinds of transitions this week.  So maybe that will come up too.  Speaking of Caitlin Jenner, if you are interested in Jewish perspectives on transgender issues, Lisa Gittleman-Udi suggested to me the Transtorah website.  Also see the Jewish Transitions site

Jewels’ Bar Mitzvah

 

 

I’ve been talking and writing a lot about this weekend’s very special bar mitzvah.  Jewels Harrison will be leading much of the service on Shabbat morning, and it would be wonderful for the community to come out and support him and his family. You can read his remarkable story here.  And here is an article about him from today’s New Canaan Advertiser.  We are extremely proud that Jewels has grown up here, literally from the day of his bris, which took place on a morning when we celebrated another special bar mitzvah, for an 83 year old gentleman named Bill Zelermyer.  What you see Jewels doing tomorrow - and tonight, when he will be playing keyboard - is happening totally because Jewels wants to do it.  He may get distracted at some points, but as with all our b’nai mitzvah, the goal is not perfection - it’s intention.  And Jewels is purekavvanah.  Both tonight and tomorrow will be extraordinary moments for us all.

Please be aware that the service on Shabbat morning will be curtailed somewhat to make it easier for Jewels to maintain focus. All the key prayers and blessings will be included.  But the service will be considerably than the typical bar mitzvah here.  And his greatest involvement will be in the early parts.  So please try to be here right at the beginning, at 9:30.

Jewels, Miriam...and Caitlin

I attended the showing last night of the film “Paragraph 175.” Immediately afterwards, I participated in a panel discussing the Nazi era persecution of homosexuals andinclusivity in our Jewish community today.

I learned much from the film that I never knew before.  The numbers of homosexuals impacted and the percentage killed was far lower than that for Jews that is not the point. There’s no question that the Nazis singled out the Jews alone for complete annihilation.  But many gays were also Jews (and members of other targeted groups), so comparing the numbers is essentially meaningless.  It’s also true that once the war was over, while those Jews who survived were essentially “liberated,” homosexuals were still considered deviants and fugitives - and Paragraph 175, which branded them as such, was not removed from the German criminal code until decades later.  Nor was the situation much better in more friendly countries, as those who saw the recent film, “The Imitation Game,” featuring the tragic case of Alan Turing, are aware.  In our own country, the US vs. Windsor Supreme Court decision has dramatically reversed the course of discrimination, with this month’s Supreme Court decision being eagerly anticipated.

Jews and gays have always been canaries in the coal mine of hate and intolerance.  There are other canaries too; we are all joined in our belief that any nation or group that targets one marginal group will ultimately despise anyone who is different.

In this week’s Torah reading, Moses’ siblings Aaron and Miriam engage in gossip against their brother and Miriam is afflicted with leprosy.  Why Miriam and not Aaron?  Beats me - yet another Torah verse to struggle with. (Some say God had to set Miriam as an example because she was so highly respected - nice try.  Makes God sound like Roger Goodell.  Not buying it).  But for whatever reason, she’s afflicted, and Miriam is removed from the community. Moses then takes it upon himself to pray for her healing - a spontaneous, beautiful prayer:  אל נא רפא נא לה, el na, refa na la -- "please, God, heal her." Read about it as a tool for contemporary Jewish healing and hear it chanted.  Moses then makes sure that she can be rescued from the margins and brought back, whole, into society.

The rule of thumb is that we Jews are the anti-Nazis.  That’s why they, and other totalitarian rulers, hate us so.  We embrace the stranger, including all those groups that the Nazis marginalized and ultimately killed.  We as Jews are called upon to bring them back from the margins, as Moses did for Miriam.

This is not to say that all groups need “healing” - certainly not LGBT (as recent studies have shown).  But all groups - all individuals - are entitled to be cared for, to be loved, to be accepted, to be respected and to have their dignity affirmed. 

Among the other groups targeted by the Nazis were the mentally and physically disabled, who were systematically euthanized. Jewels Harrison, who copes with autism, would undoubtedly have been at the top of their list.  This is why we will revel in his accomplishments this Shabbat, and be grateful for the precious gift he is giving us, by opening that window, just a crack, allowing us to peer into his deep, melodic and joyous soul.

And what does all this have to do with Caitlin Jenner, aside from my wanting to get you to read to the bottom?

There are many reasons for the unprecedented reaction to the release of her Vanity Fair cover photo.  Part of that was sensationalism, but a large part of it discomfort.  When people feel uncomfortable, they tend to marginalize and to objectify.  So a serious matter becomes a circus side show and in this country, another name for “side show” is “reality TV.”  Eventually, though, we have to take out the “TV” part, hold up a mirror to ourselves and deal with the reality. 

All people deserve to be loved, because ours is a God of love.  It’s time for the marginal to become mainstream.  Not every synagogue would allow Jewels to fulfill his dream as we are going to here this weekend.  But we are not every synagogue.

Shabbat Shalom

 

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Piercing the Heavens (Jewish Week)

• OPINION

Piercing The Heavens

Tue, 05/26/2015

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman

Special To The Jewish Week

  

Joshua Hammerman

We learn in Pirke Avot, “There is no person who does not have his hour.” On a Shabbat morning in early June, a remarkable young man will ascend to the Torah to become bar mitzvah in my synagogue, on the very same pulpit where his bris took place 13 years ago. His name is Jewels Harrison. 

Because of his degree of autism, Jewels’ capacity for speech is very limited, but he has found new ways to sing God’s praises. In only a short amount of time, Jewels has become an accomplished pianist. He doesn’t read music, but is able to hear and reproduce it in detail. Innovative rows of pictures and symbols helped him identify and associate songs to play. 

For his mitzvah project, Jewels has been performing at small parlor recitals, raising money for programs that will benefit other kids with special needs. His playing is extraordinary for any child his age, but especially for one who has spent so much of his life with very limited ability to communicate.

To hear Jewels play is to hear the shepherd boy’s flute in the iconic chasidic tale of the Baal Shem Tov. Moved by his first exposure to the powerful Yom Kippur service though unable to read or understand the liturgy, that boy prayed in the manner that he knew best. The congregation was aghast and looked to evict the boy, until the rabbi indicated from the pulpit that those shrill sounds of the whistle were able to pierce the heavens so that the prayers of the entire congregation might ascend.

Jewels is also preparing to lead many of the prayers of the service with his voice. Through hard work and much patience, he is going to do just fine, but for the hundreds who will be attending, perfection will not be pertinent. What will matter is that we bear witness to Jewels’ resounding statement that every human being has his hour, every life has infinite value, and everyone is equal in the eyes of God.

You may have heard of the recent cancelation of a bar mitzvah for special needs children in Rehovot, Israel, because it was to be held in a Masorti (Conservative) facility. The mayor insisted that the service be held at an Orthodox synagogue. The irony here is that some traditional synagogues do not allow such children to come up to the Torah and say the blessings. There is a notion in Jewish law that those with severe disabilities are not “of sound mind” and therefore are not eligible to take on public responsibilities like being a witness, or, more to the point, representing the congregation in leading services. Despite these restrictions, even very traditional rabbis are increasingly recognizing the dangers of labeling special needs or physically disabled children with a broad brush. 

In their book, “Practical Medical Halacha,” Dr. Fred Rosner and Rabbi Moses Tendler state that Jewish law urges those with special needs “to achieve their fullest potential as Jews, while exhorting society to assist them in making their religious observance possible.” In the Talmud, after all (Eruvin 54b), Rabbi Preida had a student with a severe learning disability, to the point where he needed to repeat each lesson 400 times before the student understood it. Such patience needs to be applied across the board, and to a degree, that is happening. 

There is no lack of compassion for special needs children in the Orthodox world, but a general position of inclusiveness that is mandated in the Talmud; this is why the Rehovot incident is even more alarming. The mayor was willing to turn these kids into pawns to further his own political agenda.

Masorti has been running this special needs bar mitzvah program in Israel for many years. Just as Conservative Judaism has incorporated relevant contemporary data to reassess longstanding views regarding feminism and homosexuality, so did it long ago find ways to incorporate into ritual practice contemporary understandings of mental impairment and genetic disorders. As with women and gays, the purpose of implementing changes to long-held practices is to affirm the dignity of these individuals. As our sources repeat time after time, the dignity of the individual should always be paramount. 

I’ve led many memorable bar/bat mitzvahs of special needs children. One of my first was for a young man with Down syndrome, who used that bar mitzvah process as a springboard to living an exemplary life in leadership and advocacy. Today, three decades later, he is often in Washington articulating his cause and lobbying for better legislation. He’s co-written a book (which became a TV movie) detailing his experiences. Had he grown up in Rehovot, God only knows if he would have had such opportunities or gained such confidence. It would have been the world’s loss.

Children with such challenges have so much to offer and often can’t stand up for themselves when mistreated. The Rehovot story is simply a disgrace, a stain on Israel and a shame for all of us. If this behavior is representative of Judaism, it almost makes me want to go back to Sinai and start all over again.

Fortunately it is not.

When I was 12, I got into the only fistfight of my life, and it was when a kid started mocking my brother, who is significantly impaired, laughingly calling him a “retard.” Nowadays there are only a few things that bring out the moral outrage in me as much as the abuse of innocent young children with disabilities.

And few things validate my decision to become a rabbi and represent the eternal message of Sinai more than seeing children like Jewels ascend to the Torah, piercing the heavens with a prayer so intense and pure that it just might save us all.

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman is spiritual leader of Temple Beth-El in Stamford, Conn.