Author of "Embracing Auschwitz" and "Mensch•Marks: Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi - Wisdom for Untethered Times." Winner of the Rockower Award, the highest honor in Jewish journalism and 2019 Religion News Association Award for Excellence in Commentary. Musings of a rabbi, journalist, father, husband, poodle-owner, Red Sox fan and self-proclaimed mensch, taken from essays, columns, sermons and thin air. Writes regularly in the New York Jewish Week and Times of Israel.
Thursday, August 18, 1994
Monday, August 8, 1994
Saturday, June 25, 1994
Friday, June 10, 1994
Wednesday, June 1, 1994
From the Archives: TBE's Bulletin, 30 Years Ago
At the conclusion of each programming year, I used to lay out my "State of the Synagogue" with a focus on religion and education, youth and social (the president would give the financial report). Here is one from exactly 30 years ago. You can see some of the dreams we had then and assess how those dreams have withstood the test of time. To see a clearer pdf of these pages, click here.
And as a bonus, click here for another bulletin from earlier that same year. And check out a few pages from that one on the bottom of this page, including a very timely article by a certain 12th grader who is set to become TBE's next president.
Sunday, May 1, 1994
Friday, April 1, 1994
Sunday, March 13, 1994
Birth Rite (New York Times Magazine)
PDF of original article
As one of their duties, rabbis guide nervous parents through the ritual wounding their son’s genitalia on the eighth day following birth. I know, because as a Conservative rabbi for the past 10 years, I have done exactly that.
I’ve led hundreds of mothers and fathers through their baby boys’ circumcisions, reciting my routine explanations in favor of the ritual. But it was not until last year, after the birth of my son Daniel, that I came to appreciate the deeper meaning behind circumcision. True, I had witnessed hundreds of cuttings, but until that day I had never myself performed one.
As a rabbi and as a parent, I had figured that my second son’s circumcision would be like that of the first. I assumed I would chant a blessing or two, then daub his mouth with wine-soaked gauze. But the mohel (circumciser), with whom I had worked countless times suddenly handed me the knife. He pointed to my squirming Son, whose hands and legs were tied to the board. The foreskin had been pulled up over the glans of the penis and was now protruding through a narrow slit of the small, stainless steel clamp.
"It's all set up," the mohel said. "No way you can go wrong."
"It's the greatest honor a father can have," he added.
He had taken that line right out of my script. But there was one difference: I remind parents that they have the option of delegating to the mohel the performance of that radical affirmation of the covenant between the Jewish people and God.
"All you have to do is cut," he said.
Daniel, who had been crying incessantly throughout, suddenly stopped. Like Isaac centuries before, Daniel waited in silence for his father's knife to drop.
Daniel had spent most of his first week of life blissfully attached to one of the other of my wife Mara's breasts while I played computer games with our 2-year old Ethan. I also attended to the medical insurance, informed relatives of Daniel’s birth, got his Social Security number and shopped for food. In short, I had become Master of the Mundane – until I was handed the knife.
Since the day Abraham circumcised Isaac, the knife has transformed father into sculptor, asserting his responsibility to mold and perfect nature. The knife also turns father into mentor, one willing to inflict pain for the sake of proper moral development.
But most of all, the knife turns father into potential murderer. It is no coincidence that only one biblical chapter after Abraham circumcises Isaac, he nearly slaughters him, perhaps with the same knife. One does not have to be a Freudian to know that the birth of a son brings about more than unalloyed joy to the father. There is no greater primal anger than that caused by seeing another male in carnal contact with your wife, in this case the physical intimacy of mother and son. And there is no greater primal envy than that caused by looking down at the person who was brought into the world specifically to be your survivor. In traditional Jewish society a male child was called a "kaddish," the one who would say the memorial prayers when the parent dies. With the birth of a "kaddish," the father hears a whisper that it is now all right to die.
In the face of this anger and jealousy, give the father a knife and ask him to do that? There? And besides, I’m squeamish. The last time I gave blood, I passed out. I shave only with an electric razor. I'm a vegetarian. And finally…well, let’s just say that I am no surgeon. Mara and I ruminate for hours before cutting our baby's fingernails. But with our friends and relatives waiting impatiently, what was I to do when the mohel gave me the knife? I took it in my right hand, forgetting that I bat, throw, eat and probably cut foreskins best lefty, and swallowed hard.
My hand trembled as I began to push the blade across the edge of the clamp through which an inch of my infant's foreskin protruded. But the blade wasn't cutting easily. The seconds felt like hours as my hand swayed back and forth.
The situation called for a hard, sturdy chop. It called for a butcher. In fact, in the Middle Ages the community’s mohel was often the one who slaughtered animals for kosher meat. Looking at my son, I realized success required tunnel vision, to regard the skin as lifeless, distinct from the person attached to it. But I wasn't used to cutting meat, raw or cooked. Was this what it was all about? Unprovoked aggression? Dehumanization of one's own flesh and blood? It was becoming clear that in order to finish the job I would have to rely on a carnivorous side that I didn't think existed, that I feared greatly.
Then Daniel began to cry again.
I suppose that had Abraham fumbled things this badly, even stoic Isaac might have cried. But Daniel let loose a wail that normally was reserved for four in the morning and was always assuaged by a speedy rendezvous with his mother. This time, though, there were just the two of us. I was holding the knife, and he appeared to sense its power.
Then I noticed for the first time his blue eyes looking straight into mine, and it was a look not of fear but of utter dependence and trust. It was the kind of look we Masters of the Mundane aren't used to getting from infants.
I finally understood that the knife transforms the father not to sculptor, mentor, or butcher, but, paradoxically, into a shield. The breast provides, but the knife protects. It channels a father's natural anger and jealousy into one controlled cut. He takes off one small part in order to preserve – and love – the whole.
A rush of guilt and fear went through me. I just wanted to hold Daniel and tell him that never again would he suffer the agony of rampant parental rage. With one burst of empathy and a series of short jagged flicks, the foreskin was gone. The mohel cleaned things up and it was over.
No parent should be denied this experience, even vicariously, of inflicting upon his child a ritualized blow so intense as to make him both shake and recoil, yet so controlled that no damage is really done, to signify that this will be the worst the child will ever know from his parent's hand. For it is from the father's hand that Abraham's knife dangles, every moment of every day.
Sunday, December 19, 1993
God's Place: The City
I am so happy to be here at the invitation of your spiritual leader. As we've gotten to know each other, Reverend Winton Hill and I have come to realize that there is so much more that unites us than divides us. We each run around like crazy and fight to squeeze in time for our families. We each care most of all about the children, our own, and yours too. And we each grieve at what we see happening to our children, when we see them exposed to violence, hunger, neglect and hatred. We want our children to feel a special pride in who they are and where they come from.
To take the legacy of their people and transform it into the greatest love of all, the love of self leading to a love for humanity. We are so fortunate to have Winton Hill our community. He is, in every way, a soulmate and friend.
The Beth El - Bethel relationship was forged by a dream. Several dreams, really. The dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., to be sure, and of generations of Jews and African Americans who have worked together, suffered together and grown together in their efforts to build a more just, more compassionate America for their children.
But there is one more dream that we share, one embedded in our very identity, our name, and our Bible. It was Jacob's dream that occurred in the place he called Beit El, Beth-el, the House of the Lord. And in Jacob's dream, a ladder was set on earth with its top stretching forth unto heaven, and angels of God were ascending and descending on it.
When Jacob awoke, he understood what he hadn't before, that God's presence could be felt in a place utterly ordinary, seemingly earth-bound, and a simple place, cluster of stones, really, became holy.
Our dream today is nothing less than to make Jacob's Beth-el a living concept in our living city. We stand together, as Stamford's two Beth-els, committed to transforming Stamford into a house of God. We must build a ladder to heaven. Right here. Right now.
Ancient holy cities, Jerusalem, Mecca, Benares, Peking, all were built around sacred spaces, which allowed for a feeling of intersection, where the horizontal plane could meet the vertical. Where people could remove their shoes in the knowledge that this place was God's place. In those days, the city came to symbolize hope, reaffirmation and resolve. In recent times, cities have lost their ability to build those sacred ladders, choosing instead to build secular palaces of concrete and glass, to be centers of commerce rather than compassion, coming to symbolize corruption, confrontation and despair. That is precisely what has happened to New York, where the politics of fear have become the only means of motivating the populace.
But Stamford is not New York. Stamford is smaller. Stamford does still care. Stamford still puts people first, or at least it can. And Stamford has two very different Beth Els who wish to bring the entire city to an understanding of how we can build that ladder to heaven.
We can become a healing city, a place where all citizens feel sustained and nurtured in its midst.
We can become an organic city, not of disparate neighborhoods and conflicting groups, but a collage where the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. The great cities of the past all felt organic and whole, down to the last detail, the restaurants, the sidewalks, the neighborhoods, the gardens, the walls. In Jerusalem, for instance, there is not a single stone that is not tear-stained, whether it adorn an ancient shrine or a modern cafe, it is all Jerusalem, all reaching up to the heavens. Our city can reach heavenward too, but only if we provide the tears, the laughter, the kindness, and imprint them on every stone and girder.
It all comes together today. Today we are not African American and Jew, we are Stamford. And if we can come together, the rest of the city will have to follow. If they see that we can care for each other, we who are so different, we who still have somewhat differing agendas, but we who do care for each other, if they can see us holding hands, if we can pull this off, the rest of the city will take notice. Like the Maccabees and martyrs of old, we can change the world.
This city can care for its homeless, for its sick, for its downtrodden, for its living and for its dying. And we can help it.
In his book, "A Vision of Britain," Prince Charles says, the "Our towns and cities can be restored to places where people matter once more and where our spirits find tranquillity and inspiration." Today we share that inspiration. We can become an oasis of tranquillity.
New eras have begun in South Africa and the Middle East. Almost simultaneously, the two international arenas that have concerned our peoples the most have miraculously become arenas of reconciliation. Our relationship will no longer be distracted by them. Instead we can focus on building bridges. This is the second joint service our congregations have held this year. In 1994, we hope to follow this up with more dialogue, more involvement, more coming together -- with your help. Please join in our effort. We need it. Our city needs it. We can become a model of caring and coexistence between Jews and African Americans -- sort of like the U Conn basketball team, which has had more Israeli imports than a Kosher supermarket. Let's follow their lead as they rise to the top.
The writer James McPherson noted that there has been of late an unfortunate tendency among Jews toward greater racism and among blacks toward greater antisemitism, and that it can be traced to same thing: each group is trying to join the majority. The rest of the world hates, so we'll hate too. We can't deny these trends, nor can we deny that the temptation exists to hate.
There may be comfort in numbers but we, as two peoples who have seen the results of senseless hatred, we've got to fight it. We've got to love each other, even if that is just one more thing that places us against the tide.
For the sake of our city, we've got to end the hating.
For the sake of the children, we've got to end the hating.
For the sake of God, we've got to end the hating.
Today, right here, right now, we each are adding one rung to Jacob's ladder. And together, we stretch forth to the heavens, as our city becomes a House of God.
God's Place: The City
God's Place: The City
by Joshua Hammerman
The following address was delivered by Rabbi Joshua Hammerman of Temple Beth El, Stamford, at a joint service between Temple Beth El and Bethel A.M.E., held at the church on December 19, 1993. The service was the second in a series of cooperative ventures between the two congregations, aimed at strengthening the bonds between the Jewish and African American communities of Stamford.
I am so happy to be here at the invitation of your spiritual leader. As we've gotten to know each other, Reverend Winton Hill and I have come to realize that there is so much more that unites us than divides us. We each run around like crazy and fight to squeeze in time for our families. We each care most of all about the children, our own, and yours too. And we each grieve at what we see happening to our children, when we see them exposed to violence, hunger, neglect and hatred. We want our children to feel a special pride in who they are and where they come from. To take the legacy of their people and transform it into the greatest love of all, the love of self leading to a love for humanity. We are so fortunate to have Winton Hill our community. He is, in every way, a soulmate and friend.
The Beth El - Bethel relationship was forged by a dream. Several dreams, really. The dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., to be sure, and of generations of Jews and African Americans who have worked together, suffered together and grown together in their efforts to build a more just, more compassionate America for their children.
But there is one more dream that we share, one embedded in our very identity, our name, and our Bible. It was Jacob's dream that occurred in the place he called Beit El, Beth-el, the House of the Lord. And in Jacob's dream, a ladder was set on earth with its top stretching forth unto heaven, and angels of God were ascending and descending on it.
When Jacob awoke, he understood what he hadn't before, that God's presence could be felt in a place utterly ordinary, seemingly earth-bound, and a simple place, cluster of stones, really, became holy.
Our dream today is nothing less than to make Jacob's Beth-el a living concept in our living city. We stand together, as Stamford's two Beth-els, committed to transforming Stamford into a house of God. We must build a ladder to heaven. Right here. Right now.
Ancient holy cities, Jerusalem, Mecca, Benares, Peking, all were built around sacred spaces, which allowed for a feeling of intersection, where the horizontal plane could meet the vertical. Where people could remove their shoes in the knowledge that this place was God's place. In those days, the city came to symbolize hope, reaffirmation and resolve. In recent times, cities have lost their ability to build those sacred ladders, choosing instead to build secular palaces of concrete and glass, to be centers of commerce rather than compassion, coming to symbolize corruption, confrontation and despair. That is precisely what has happened to New York, where the politics of fear have become the only means of motivating the populace.
But Stamford is not New York. Stamford is smaller. Stamford does still care. Stamford still puts people first, or at least it can. And Stamford has two very different Beth Els who wish to bring the entire city to an understanding of how we can build that ladder to heaven.
We can become a healing city, a place where all citizens feel sustained and nurtured in its midst. We can become an organic city, not of disparate neighborhoods and conflicting groups, but a collage where the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. The great cities of the past all felt organic and whole, down to the last detail, the restaurants, the sidewalks, the neighborhoods, the gardens, the walls. In Jerusalem, for instance, there is not a single stone that is not tear-stained, whether it adorn an ancient shrine or a modern cafe, it is all Jerusalem, all reaching up to the heavens. Our city can reach heavenward too, but only if we provide the tears, the laughter, the kindness, and imprint them on every stone and girder.
It all comes together today. Today we are not African American and Jew, we are Stamford. And if we can come together, the rest of the city will have to follow. If they see that we can care for each other, we who are so different, we who still have somewhat differing agendas, but we who do care for each other, if they can see us holding hands, if we can pull this off, the rest of the city will take notice. Like the Maccabees and martyrs of old, we can change the world.
This city can care for its homeless, for its sick, for its downtrodden, for its living and for its dying. And we can help it.
In his book, "A Vision of Britain," Prince Charles says, the "Our towns and cities can be restored to places where people matter once more and where our spirits find tranquillity and inspiration." Today we share that inspiration. We can become an oasis of tranquillity.
New eras have begun in South Africa and the Middle East. Almost simultaneously, the two international arenas that have concerned our peoples the most have miraculously become arenas of reconciliation. Our relationship will no longer be distracted by them. Instead we can focus on building bridges. This is the second joint service our congregations have held this year. In 1994, we hope to follow this up with more dialogue, more involvement, more coming together -- with your help. Please join in our effort. We need it. Our city needs it. We can become a model of caring and coexistence between Jews and African Americans -- sort of like the U Conn basketball team, which has had more Israeli imports than a Kosher supermarket. Let's follow their lead as they rise to the top.
The writer James McPherson noted that there has been of late an unfortunate tendency among Jews toward greater racism and among blacks toward greater antisemitism, and that it can be traced to same thing: each group is trying to join the majority. The rest of the world hates, so we'll hate too. We can't deny these trends, nor can we deny that the temptation exists to hate. There may be comfort in numbers but we, as two peoples who have seen the results of senseless hatred, we've got to fight it. We've got to love each other, even if that is just one more thing that places us against the tide.
For the sake of our city, we've got to end the hating.
For the sake of the children, we've got to end the hating.
For the sake of God, we've got to end the hating.
Today, right here, right now, we each are adding one rung to Jacob's ladder. And together, we stretch forth to the heavens, as our city becomes a House of God.








































